For the next thirty minutes I was nervously finishing my ice cream while also eyeing Kami over Jack's shoulder. I mean it only makes sense i'd see her here, it only makes sense that out of all people it would be the girl who Jordan and I cannot stand.
I had tried not to even mind but her presence had made me feel some sort of way. Not the way Jack had made me feel, entirely opposite of that.
"She better be cute if you're staring at her that long." He muttered directing my attention to him finally.
I sighed looking away, "She runs her mouth a lot and I'm worried the next time it's going to be about us."
"You're still that embarrassed to be seen with me?"
I shook my head now looking at him sincerely, "I'm not embarrassed Jack, it's just-"
"Your dad, I know." He said taking out a gummy worm and chewing a part of it, "You're not going to be a little girl forever, I mean shit you're not one now."
I sighed swirling my spoon around the chocolate swirl, "It's not that easy."
"Then enlighten me on it."
I looked up at him as he continued to eat his ice cream not breaking contact with me. So I sighed leaning on to the metal bench, "My entire life is about doing what is right in the eyes of God. Which means I'm restricted to certain things - and some of those things are bad people."
He stopped eating, "I'm the bad person?"
"In my dads eyes, yes." I admit, "But to me, you're just a guy. A guy who lets me vent to him, who takes me on joy rides, who makes me feel like it's okay to not be good all the time."
We both had stopped any motions or activities we were doing. Jack had placed his spoon back in his cup and I had stop fidgeting with my hands and still looking at his hard brown eyes. Sam's were soft.
In that moment I had wanted to forget the rules and say I didn't need them - because truth was I probably didn't. But I'm so used to them that a life without them is terrifying.
"And Sam?"
And Sam? I finally let out a silent deep breath I didn't know I was holding in, "And Sam doesn't. Sammy is my boyfriend but he's also the default guy that every Christian family wants their daughter to end up with."
It had reminded me of when Riley had dated his brother. The relationship was based on the two families wanting to forever be bonded - of course friendship wasn't enough, they wanted marriage. My sister just wanted to mess around - hence why she slept with James.
The marriage was a fail and my sister ran off. So Sam and I were the next in line.
I sighed shaking my head not even understanding why I was telling him all this, "It's getting late. I need to beat my dad home."
For the next half hour we drove back into Oakland passing by the schools and the other churches. Watching kids rave at the community playground against each other. Private school kids were all assholes.
My situation reminded me of the Socs and the greasers. Except its the Christians and non believers.
Jack had stopped in front of my house as I stared at it thanking God my dads car wasn't in the driveway. The lights were on meaning my mom and sister were back but I didn't need to worry about them questioning me harshly.
"Well-" I began to say unbuckling myself, "I had fun, thanks for today."
"Im available all week." He smiled still gripping the steering wheel watching my movement, "And at night if you need the talk."
I smiled widely looking at him the same way he had been looking at me since the day we first met. Jack Gilinsky was a story I wanted to read through but probably never get to finish, no matter how much time I had on my hands.
"You're happy right Charlie?" He asked as I reached for the car handle.
"I'm happy Jack." I answered letting the air fill the car as I quickly shut it. Jack began to roll down the window as I walked away from the car and up to the door. I had waved him bye as I placed my hands on the handle as he winked at me making me smile even wider.
I got past chapter one.
***
What a fucking wait!!
I promise I'm going to start stepping up my game for this book. I'll update every Saturday or Sunday just so I can get a schedule.
Anyways, opinions?
