Jack had left me standing there like a deer in headlights. I didn't even know where he went, all I knew was I had felt more outed then before standing here by myself.
He hadn't made himself clear with what he said and then didn't even care to explain himself to me. I sighed leaving my position and mixing into the crowd to get to the car.
If I was going to antisocial for the next hours then I'd rather it be in my own comfort.
"Little Mrs Reverends daughter doesn't look like she's doing bible study." I had known the deep female voice from anywhere. I knew running into her at the ice cream stand would haunt me in the future.
"What do you want Kami?" I asked her turning around on my heel and looking at her. Her hair had been pull back exposing her tube top and shorts - I had remembered her changing into the same one after school when leaving to hang out with her ex boyfriend.
"Let's be serious, I could never want anything from you." She smirked holding her red cup with both hands.
I rolled my eyes at the statement, "Well Sammy and Jack think otherwise."
I didn't mean to say that out loud. I would usually never. But unintentionally I had let the hurtful comment slip from my thoughts and at her. It wasn't like she didn't deserve it anyways.
She bit her bottom lip in anger squinting her eyes and staring me down, "I wonder what Sammy would think about you coming to a party at the peak with Jack and his delinquent best friend."
She shrugged at her own question walking past me and slightly bumping into my shoulder, "I guess we'll see."
I looked away from her letting a breath I didn't know I was holding in out and returning to make walk to the car. The music had begin to fade from my eyes as I approached it and finally opening the passengers side enjoying the buzzing inside the car.
The insects were definitely live tonight.
I closed my eyes throwing my hands over my face and trying to push back the forming headache. Even the music in church could never had been so loud, I wasn't used to blasting songs circling my ears.
I jumped a bit at the drivers side door opening and Jack sitting in the seat throwing out the edge of a smoke. I could smell the weed, It was the same smell from the parking lot when we had first laid eyes on each other.
Jack looked over to me sighing, "It's a party Charlie, why are you sitting in the car?"
"I could ask you the same thing." I muttered facing front and eyeing the dimming light of the party. I had hoped James and Jordan were having fun at least, "This is more your style, not mine."
He slightly turned the keys to where the music had started playing faintly in the background, "Designated Driver so I can't exactly have a drink."
I wondered why nobody asked me.
The silence had past for a minute but each second my curiosity grew. Why was he so upset over Nate approaching me?
"Are you still upset with me?" I asked him now turning over to look at him.
His hands rest on the bottom of the steering wheel and by the way his body slump I could tell his high was kicking in. I had learned about the effects of marijuana in health class freshman year, I was familiar with it.
"I was never mad at you." He said still looking out to the ongoing party, "But fuck Charlie, you're so fucking gullible."
The curse worse had made me flinch. My parents and I had never done it, and usually it meant you did something wrong.
"I don't understand-"
"That's my point!" He exclaimed turning to look at me finally, "We have been inseparable for the last three weeks, you don't even want to hang out with Sammy, your boyfriend. I mean for Christ sake, you're at a party here with me just because you want to be. Nothing about this makes you just think about shit?"
"Of course it gets me thinking!" I snap back throwing my hands back, "But what am I supposed to do Jack? If I do one thing wrong, it will be a domino effect! What do you want me to do?"
He sighed not moving from his position and locking eyes with me. I had always liked his brown basics because they were far from basic to me.
"Just be a reckless dumb teenager for once." He quietly said as if it was supposed to be between us only, as if we weren't the only ones in the car.
I had wanted to be reckless even if it meant getting in trouble. People got in trouble for sneaking out, I did for not praying at dinner. People were scolded for having a drink every once and a while, I was scolded for not reading my bible every night before bed.
I couldn't relate to most of the kids who were here tonight. If my life wasn't the ideal Christian life, they I failed and so did my parents.
So I wanted to be reckless, and I wanted to be dumb but it has never been about what I wanted. Charlotte Ryder didn't get her opinion.
"So how do I tell Sammy that I like his friend?"
***
Thank you to Indie music for helping me finish this chapter, the vibe really gets me on my flow.
Anyways, opinions?
