👑You're never alone.👑
Requested by: Chinafree
Hope u enjoy xx
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I knew it was wrong from me to not tell the boys about my anxiety and panic attacks. My boyfriend Jack didn't know about any of it, or the others. Nobody knew about it.
Today we had a concert in Bristol, and I knew when I woke up it would be a horrible day. My anxiety already took over my body the minute I opened my eyes. I had no idea of how I would survive today.
"Mikey? You okay?"
I looked up at Andy who gave me a curious look. This was my change to tell him everything ant just come clean but I didn't.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired."
Andy shook his head and went to eat his breakfast further. He knew I was lying, Andy always knew when I was lying or not. Andy was the kind of guy who knew more then anyone, could read all of us as we where a book. I knew Andy was worried and probably tell Jack it since he's my boyfriend. But all I could do was hope he didn't tell him anything and just let it go.
"Hey babe!"
I looke around and grinned as Jack walked into the room. He sat down next to me, leaning his head on my shoulder.
"Hey Jacky."
Jack groaned and slapped my shoulder playfully. "You're a dick." He mumbled under his breath only for me to laugh more at his cuteness. I looked around again and saw Andy looking at us. Puzzled. I quickly turned my gaze away from him and to Jack again, smiling.
"We should get going."
Andy announced as he was done with his breakfast, Andy was the last one to eat since he woke up later then usually. Which wasn't like him but he just made excuses, just like I did most of the time.
Jack grabbed my hand and pulled me with me, out of the flat and to the car. We sat down in the back of the car, with Brooklyn, Rye and Andy in front of us and then our driver. It was a big car and it was really needed for us to have a bigger car.
Jack placed his head on my shoulder, closing his eyes, snoring softly as he made it to dream world. I gently tangled my fingers in his hair knowing it made him calm. I sighed as I saw his sleeping figure, how calm he looked which I already couldn't understand. How can you be so calm when things could go wrong all the time? Where people could love you and the next second hate you. Where you could get kicked out for messing up. Disappointing people. Letting them down.
I blinked quickly so the thoughts wouldn't take over. But who am I kidding? They would take over sooner or later today it didn't help that we had a concert tonight and that we had a long drive.
Once we arrived it was already noon and we needed to hurry up. Do sound check, have dinner, do the VIP, the concert, the M&G and then drive back to the flat. Luckily we didn't have much to do tomorrow.
Sound check was soon done and it went very good even though my anxiety and panic filled my body like a hurricane. But I could put it away which wasn't the best thing I could do. We went to eat at a simply and small restaurant, but the silence soon got interrupted by roadies coming in and asking us things. They where with so much and slowly closing in on us. I felt my breath stop and I was almost going into a panic state, but soon I felt someone grab my hand and pull me into a chest.
"You okay Mikey? They where pretty rude, they also ripped your shirt."
I looked down at my shirt and saw holes in it. I must have blacked them out, probably that's why my anxiety got the best of me. Again. I'm just glad it didn't happen, that I didn't let it get to me. I really hoped none of the other lads saw my small break down. But as soon as I locked eyes with Andy I knew he had it figured out.
