I looked up at the blue sky, the sun almost going down behind some trees in our backyard. I was sitting on the grass, legs crossed as I let the cool evening air brush past my sleeveless arms. I knew I could get sick sitting here in just a t-shirt and jeans, yes I also was barefeet. I just had to get away from the stress going on in the house. Outside was where I always went when I needed to breath or some relief.
I heard a door close softly not to make a sound but I heard it anyway. Soft feet's walked through the green grass all the way to the middle where I was sitting taking in the beauty of nature.
"Andy?"
I looked up at Brooklyn who stood next to me holding my shoes in his hand's his eyes holding a soft expression. In the beginning of our relationship he was always worried about me going outside on bare feet's and a t-shirt. But along the way he luckily understood why I did it and that I also needed the time to take a breath and look at world turn around without me walking. Brooklyn helped me go through some of the worst times I had in life, always treating me like I meant everything to the world that I was needed and had so much more to do, I of course didn't believe him when he told me those things but eventually along the way, I did.
I smiled as I grabbed the shoes from Brooklyn's grip and put them on. "You wan to stay back here?" Brooklyn furrowed his eyebrows and I already knew just from the way he looked he didn't want me to stay here alone in the freezing cold. "I'm coming with you back in." As I stood up we headed back to the door. I bit my lip and grabbed his wrist stopping him from continuing "Can we go to your room please?" Brooklyn smiled nodding as he wrapped his hand into mine before pulling me behind him inside.
"Where did you two go?"
"Outside and now we are going upstairs."
Brooklyn pulled me through the living room where I could see the other three sitting on the couch, biscuit laying on Mikey's lap. They all didn't know the dark thoughts or the demons that swirled around inside my mind only Brooklyn knew that, I only told him when he found me crying outside on the grass a few years back when we still lifted in the first flat.
"Andy?"
I blinked my eyes and looked at Brooklyn who only sighed before petting the place next to him on the bed. I sat down next to him looking at my hands only.
"Tell me what is going on in your head, love."
"I just got scared Brooky. What if you don't think I'm good enough? My voice isn't even the best! What if you decide to leave me?"
Brooklyn shook his head before standing up again and walking towards a drawer. This was it, he'll end things with me I knew it! Brooklyn grabbed a small box and looked me into the eyes before kneeling down in front of me.
"Babe, I would never leave you in a million years. Your my boyfriend and best friend and I love you so much! It physically hurts. You make loving so much more fun. Stop talking yourself down please."
Brooklyn opens the small box revealing a necklace with both of initials in graved in it. I felt my eyes water as I wrapped my arms around him making both of us fall on the ground with a thud. Giggling I helped him up again and pulling him close to me. Brooklyn wrapped his arms around me protectively, kissing my head gently and whispering how much he loves me.
Later that night Brooklyn had falle. a sleep as for me, I was still wide awake. I just couldn't sleep. I held the necklace that Brooklyn helped me put around my neck and smiled. Brooklyn was everything to me, with him I could just be Andy and no one else, he didn't except me to do this and that or anything else he just simply wanted cuddles and kisses from me. With Brooklyn I didn't have to pretend to be someone that was a though one and could take everything, no with him I was myself. He basically forced me to be more relaxed. The first weeks of our relationship where hell to be fair, I always wanted control over everything, couldn't let things go, made my shield as though as metal only for Brooklyn to get a fire blaster and fire right through it leaving my shield in many melted pieces. I was angry at him back then didn't talk to him for a week and a half but he still didn't care I knew it hurted him when I ignored him but he still held his ground and eventually I gave in and let him in and help me.
Brooklyn knew when something was wrong by simply looking at my eyes for example, my eyes would start slowly losing a spark or fire as Brooklyn had put it they would slowly get smaller as exhaustion and stress got to much for me to even handle, my body language would simply be more worn out I wouldn't be doing the things I enjoy to do and almost be outside of in my room most of the time, my legs would given out a few times as well.
Brooklyn could just read my like I was a open book to him which I kinda was to him. He was the first person I told when my mom called me when my grandmother had passed away, he was the first one to hear that I struggled with the hate the fans giving me, he was the first one to see me crying my eyes out, he was the first one where I told about my past and my dark thoughts that seemed to always swirl around my head, he was the first one that I could say I love with my whole, he is the first one where I can be just Andy with, he is the first one that saw me broken but also at my most happiest moments in life.
But it isn't that he is always there for me and I'm not for him, because that's not true. I helped Brooklyn just as much and sometimes even more then he would accept. I tried everything I could to only give him back what he have given me throughout the past years. Our relationship was only growing with each passing day and I couldn't be more happier to share them with Brooklyn.
In my eyes,
Brooklyn is my angel in disguise.
