Thanatophobia | kth

Chapter 39

Taehyung's POV

Tut Tut Tut, goes the sound produced in the room currently. Same like my heart. The moment the sound disappears, so does my soul. But of course, I shouldn't think about it. Instead, I should believe that she's gonna wake up soon.

My mind would keep reminding me of what happened. The reason why she's here. right now. in bed. lying unconscious. and having a hard time to breathe. "It's all my fault, huh?" I say to no one in particular. It must be. I'm the one who's reponsible for what happened. If I pushed her away earlier-

No, if I had paid attention to my surroundings, none of this would've happened. See? It all comes back to me? Because it is my fault. I can't help but feel guilty. Just how? Why?

Every day and night, I pray so that she quickly wakes up. I want to see her beautiful eyes. Her smile. The way she curses very sexily. Ughh, how am I thinking this way-

A wet substance goes down my cheeks. It's happening again. I'm crying again. How does my body not run out of tears? I wipe my tears, but it was no use. It's not stopping. I try to smile as I look at her, thinking about all the memories I had with her.

Isn't that a bad idea?

Yes

But that's all that had been accompanying me all day. I've been thinking about how much she mans to me. How she made me happy and feel what love is. Speaking of love. I'm still wondering what made her do what she did. Why did she save me when that's what she's afraid of?

Does she actually love me? She found out what love is?

My thought were cut off when the door of the room opening. "Taehyung, let's have lunch. You haven't eaten all day since we brought her to the hospital. I'm sure she doesn't want to see you starving right? Please Tae, I know what you're thinking. It's not your fault. Everything had been planned. You can't change any of it. So come out, let's fill that empty stomach of yours before I force it down your esophagus."

I laugh as I stand up, letting go of Y/N's hand. "Way to ask someone out to eat. Alright, only because you mentioned Y/N and it's true." I walk out with Jimin.

To be honest, I still can't get my mind of what happened. Even while eating, all that has been on my mind what whatever happened last night and today.

FLASHBACK

"I remember. Kim Taehyung, my boyfriend. We never got to date more than 24 hours, can it still work-"

I didn't allow her to finish as I grab her wrist, pinning her to the wall. I crashed my lips on her wanting her to kiss me back. I couldn't handle the pressure. Seeing her here right now, telling me she finally remembers me. There was no way she didn't remember after the therapy especially after the doctor told me she'll remember. She left me hanging and now she's back after what she did?

Fastening my pace, I wasn't planning on stopping. A lot was poured out. Through the kiss, I was angry, disappointed, mad, insane, but I love her so much. I guess I was getting aggressive.

I could feel Y/N's arms trying to break free, but I didn't want his to stop yet so I tightened my grip. Unfortunately, she had another way out. She lifted her knee, clashing with my private part making a pool of pain down there. I slowly loosen my grip as I couldn't handle the amount of pain that was overflowing me.

She took the chance to run away from me and I, by no choice, have to let her. It's not like I can do anything at this point. Did she not like it that bad? But I guess it's my fault for being very rough with her.

Eventually, the pain rose to the point my legs were shaking. Not being able to stand it, I fall down to the ground. My hand moved towards my private area involuntarily. I close my eyes as if it would help, then I hear footsteps coming closer.