Help Me || Randy (COMPLETED)

14

Andy

Rye and I were lying on his bed, his fingers in my hair. Our legs were intertwined loosely and my head was on his chest.

"We should go to sleep now. It's late and I just need time to relax for a bit," I whispered. The others were fast asleep now.

"Alright," Rye yawned. He pulled the covers over us and we drifted off to sleep.

3am

I made sure I packed my bag and checked they were all sleeping. I placed the note I'd written for Rye on the bedside table, sighing heavily. My phone hummed quietly in my pocket.

Javier: Get the 3:30 train to Bristol.

Making sure I'd got everything, I left. It was better Rye didn't know I had gone than watch him break down in front of me.

Thank you for everything you've done for me. I don't know how I would ever repay you.

After the train ride

Javier stood smirking at the end of the platform. Jack looked so broken, so done with everything. He ran up to me and collapsed in my arms, crying into my shirt. I smiled into his hair, handing the key to the flat.

"Andy."

"T-tell Rye I'm sorry," I said softly.

"Of course. I'm so so sorry, Andy." This boy deserved to be loved, to be cared for, to not suffer or worry or shed a single unhappy tear. He deserved the world, and Brook gave it to him. They were an actual couple, they actually shared that bond that was missing between me and Rye.

"Don't be. Take care of yourself, Brook, Mikey, Harvey, Blair, Sophie. And just promise me he won't find himself lost again. He's been through enough shit."  As selfish and rude as it sounded, I needed to make sure he'd move on from me.

"I promise," Jack whispered. "Good luck." Just before he made his way onto the train, Javier stopped him.

"Remember our deal, Jacky boy," he sneered. Their deal?

"Y-yeah. I won't say anything." With that, he gave me one last heartbreaking look, and the train doors closed behind him.

"What deal?"

He laughed, taking my bag. "If he says anything about where we are, he's dead. It's that simple."

I nodded, struggling to take it in. It was better just to let it pass than fight with him. Past mistakes, I guess. 

"Let's go," he gave me a tiny smile, and walked away. No remarks, no sarcasm, no force. Nothing. When he looked back to see whether I was following, there was the slightest amount of guilt in his facial expression. Definitely didn't see that coming.

I slipped into his car, staying silent. My bag was on the backseat next to me, and still no word came from his mouth.

"Why?" I croaked out.

He shrugged, starting the car. 

"As long as you don't try anything, you'll be fine. I'll treat you like the prince I see you as, Andrew. You'd know I think that if you'd given it all a chance. But you didn't." I'll admit, it was hard not to ignore the hurt in his voice.

Our ride was silent except for the quiet music from the radio on.

In the morning

Rye

I woke up to an empty bed, with a note on the table. My worst fear was coming true. With shaking hands, I pried the envelope open, pulling the letter out. I hadn't even glanced at the first word before my tear fell on the page.

Ryan,

I'm sorry. Sorry for leaving. Sorry for breaking your heart. Sorry I was ever in your life. I'm sorry I was even alive by this point. Sorry for being the reason you guys are going to dwell on things. I'm sorry if you never move on. I'm so fucking sorry I was a burden on you, on the band, on Blair, on the fans. I'm sorry for everything.

Jack will be home before you know. Don't be angry at him. Be angry with me. I don't understand why you want me around. But I'm gone now. You don't need to think of me anymore. All that matters is that you guys are alright. You guys will be alright without me. You'll survive.

I'm not okay, Andy. I won't survive.

Find someone new, Rye. They'll treat you better than I ever could. They'll give you the relationship I wasn't ready for in time. They'll love you in the ways I could never. They'll spoil you with the things I couldn't give you.

Tell Mikey, Brook and Jack they were everything to me, to the band. They were part of why I am who I am. So are you. You are the funniest, most amazing person I've met. Nobody can replace you. You're one of a kind. Smile more. Laugh more. Don't be afraid to open up. Keep making music, keep making the Roadies happy. They don't deserve to suffer in the way my family might. In the way you guys don't need to.

I could list everything I love about you, everything I'll miss and I'll think of everyday. I would go on forever, but you would wake up and find me sitting here writing this. I can't thank you enough for what you've done for me. Without you, I'd still be suffering in a toxic, life threatening relationship.

But he still has a hold over you. You went back to protect Jack. Why? I said we'd find Jack ourselves without you basically walking into a death trap.

Don't waste away worrying about me, please. It's not going to be worth it. If things go wrong, you'll be deeper than you ever were before. I'm begging you, Rye. 

Tell my mum I love her, and that I'm so sorry if I never see her again. She deserves to know what a failure I've become, how much of a failure she brought up. But make sure she knows it's not her fault. Tell her it wasn't her being a bad mum. Tell her it was my idiotic mistakes. That I was a mistake. I just wish I could say one last goodbye to you guys. 

Good luck with your careers. No doubt, you'll get a record deal. You'll be amazing, even without me. Tell Harvey I said good luck, too. 

I'm sorry. 

Andy

A/N Heyy guys. This is late but happy 2019! I'm also sorry for not uploading yesterday but I have a fever and didn't feel up to it yesterday. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and vote, comment, etc. Love you all xx

P.S This story has 1.1k reads already?! I can't thank you all enough for everything you've done in supporting me and my stories :)