Help Me || Randy (COMPLETED)

24

I feel like I've used this cover as the media in one of my other chapters/stories but idek which one lmao

Andy

I woke up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. The whole place was quiet, nobody seeming to be awake. What I didn't realise was that Javier was in the living room, and I stepped back in shock, sighing.

He was hovering over another guy, and they were making out on the couch, unaware I was stood in the doorway. Javier had his back to me, his shirt off. God, I used to love tracing his abs. He'd tried to make me stay, then as soon as he thinks I've left the room, there's another guy. Of course. I was just going to be his fuck buddy. When he felt like it, of course. Other times, he'd plead me to have sex with him, and me being the stupid fool I was, obliged. After all, this was the guy I had once thought mattered most in my life. Now I realised how utterly naive and stupid I was.

"Morning, Andy," Jordan said behind me, making me jump. Javier sat up, shocked to see me. His lips were swollen, as were the boy's.

"You had one chance," I said, voice shaking. Why was I so upset? I could go home now.

I guess I was craving love and attention from someone and didn't even realised.

Javier sighed, dropping his head in his hands.

"What's going-?" Jordan looked into the room, realising what had happened. "Oh."

"Take him home, Jord. I've fucked up."

I turned around, waiting for Jordan to pick the keys up.

"Don't you want to get anything? The guitar, or...?"

I shook my head, taking one last glance at my ex. He was now crying, gripping his hair.

"Why should I get something that's only going to bring back such bad memories?" My answer made Javier cry even more.

"Okay. Come on."

I watched Jordan unlock the door, and stepped out after him, being temporarily blinded by the pure sunlight. A wave of emotions rushed over me. Anger, at having to be held captive. Confusion, wondering why this all seemed so unfamiliar. Numbness, feeling like a stranger. But most of all, sadness, having missed out on so much in over 3 months. I'd been held back from the normal world, from normal interaction with people, friendships, family, everything. I collapsed to the ground, screaming into my hands. My screams turned to choking sobs as I thrashed in Jordan's arms, his way of trying to calm me down the slightest. As much as I did appreciate his kind gesture, even if it was silent, I missed Rye's arms.

I missed the strength of Rye's hold, and the fact I felt untouchable. His arms were my safe haven, his kisses were touches from an angel. His smile was my sunlight. His tears were my rain. I missed his loyalty and sincerity.

I'm coming back, Rye. You don't have to cry anymore.

That was unless he'd moved on. Of course, he would. We weren't together, so he could date whoever.

We got into the car, and putting the seat belt on felt so damn weird. I closed my eyes, dragging my hand across my cheek to wipe away any tears left. I'd cried so much I was surprised I even had any left.

Jordan kept looking over at me, making me feel uncomfortable. I turned to look out of the window as we started driving back to London. I wondered how the boys would react, seeing me at the flat looking like absolute shit. I wondered if Rye would hug me, hold me in my safe haven of his arms, whisper words in my ear to soothe himself as well as me. Or would he stand behind everyone, stone cold? He was bound to be angry and disappointed at me. I would be, if I was in his position.

"Would you like me to put the radio on?" 

I nodded, bowing my head. I no longer had the energy to speak up. I don't know how to describe the feeling. It was just me giving up with everything, being so tired and just so weak. I wanted to crawl under my covers, having the boys with me, having Mum with me. I wanted to just fall asleep with Rye's heartbeat thumping under my ear.

"I'm sorry. For everything that's happened to you. You seem like such a nice person and I don't know what came over Javier. Nobody deserves to go through what you did," Jordan spoke up, tearing his eyes away from the road to look at me.

"So why do you help him?" I asked quietly.

"I don't know. I guess it was because I've been friends with him since we were young, and we were practically joined at the hip. After I moved, he only came into contact right before you'd turned up."  

I took it all in, fiddling with the ripped edges of my jumper sleeves. Looking up, it felt like time slowed right down.

Jordan still looking at me.

Not at the road. 

A truck switching lanes.

On my side of the road.

Me shouting to Jordan.

Him looking up.

Too late to swerve.

Smashing of glass.

Our screams.

The car slamming into the traffic barriers.

Darkness.

A/N I'm sorry xx

But on a lighter note, SHAWN'S NEW SONG OMFGGG!! I am in love fuckkk. Go stream/download If I Can't Have You xx