Loving Eazy...

It's So Hard To Give It Up...

December 15, 1988

Janet's POV

I was once again in the studio, brushing up on my choreography for Rhythm Nation. In less than a month I would be going on tour. I had decided that the stuff for stage wouldn't be the exact same stuff as what I had planned for the videos that I would make next year. It was just a much bigger platform and therefore needed much more expansion and a bigger presence than what stage would have. Especially since with video I could redo it a thousand times stage it was a one time thing one time only. These people would walk away from this show having an opinion of me based on my stage performance so I had to bring it on stage.

I had my own way I worked the stage but I still wasn't above taking notes from other people I loved. Like Michael of course. The way he dominates the stage and just takes complete control of his audience and has them right where he wants them is super inspiring and definitely what I want to do. And even my boys do their own thing that's cool to see. As I've always said, NWA is a 5 man machine. They all have something specific they bring to the group that you couldn't find in anyone else.

Cube brought the anger and the hostility, he was the revolutionary of the group. Ren had the powerful voice and the temperament, he was the conscious. Dre was the mad musical genius and Yella was like his partner in crime. And my baby Eazy was the face, the leader, the cool factor. He may not have been the most qualified rapper out of the bunch but he was still incredible. And when they hit that stage, there was no way you weren't gonna walk away from the concert loving it unless you were a stiff ass motherfucker. I love those guys so much it was so dope to see them blowing up.

But of course with them now being viable, bankable hood stars, not to mention all of them were good looking to some extent, there came women. Lots of women. I was well aware that the guys would have random parties and escapades that they wouldn't tell me and the girls about. But that didn't mean we didn't know. We would talk about it all the time while eating our favorite ice cream and watching our horror movies, basically what we did every other weekend. Due to me working lately and just recently getting on good enough terms with Eric to reconcile, I haven't been to a lot of his parties but the ones I have been to were wild. At the most recent one I went to which was a few weeks ago to promote their upcoming tour, it was a ridiculous site to see.

Girls were all up on Dre wiggling they stank asses in his face. I heard Yella had been fucking with some bitch in the bathroom upstairs. And I wore a simple but sexy outfit to that event and yet I didn't see Eric the entire party. And I just feel he was fucking around on me as retaliation for not showing up to his release party for Eazy Duz It at the Exchange two months before that. I know that just sounds like assumptions and if you assume you make an ass out of yourself but shit let's not forget Eric doesn't have the best track record.

Even though I haven't heard or seen him do any dirt lately I'm not stupid and I know this man walks by himself and covers his tracks to the best of his ability. But like we should all know, all things done in the dark eventually come to the light. I sighed as I continued to work on my routine working my body to the beat. I'm just afraid I'm gonna find out pretty soon.

...

Eazy's POV

"Come on you gotta push!" The doctor urged as Joyce screamed in my ear and crushed my hand. She was hurting me like hell but I didn't care I wanted to see my son. I was the only one here to support her, don't exactly know why but I'm okay with it because I didn't know any of her people and they didn't know me.

"Eric..." She sighed and I looked down between her legs. "The head's out Joyce a couple of pushes more." She leaned forward and screamed harder and in more pain. "He's almost out one more push honey!" The doc exclaimed and she pushed one more time and suddenly between the screaming and the pain I felt from her crushing my hand I heard a soft ploop noise. Then crying, my son was here. I smiled as I cut the cord and after they delivered her placenta and cleaned him off it wasn't long before he was placed in Joyce's arms.

We admired him. "Thank you so much Joyce." I kissed her cheek, I don't feel anything towards her but I do care for her as the mother of my son. "You're welcome Eric, he's gorgeous." She smiled at little man. "What we gonna name him?" I asked and she looked at him hard and long before smiling again. "Derrek..."

...

I stayed in the hospital with Joyce for a day and a night before taking her and Derrek home. I promised I would be by there again later in the week for the last time before we went on tour. I couldn't go back home I couldn't face Janet without looking shit faced and stupid. I had once again had a whole baby on her. And I know it was killing the guys to keep it from her, especially Cube who was the only true blue one out all of us. I applaud him because I've seen him turn down hella pussy because he loves Gina that much. I know I love Janet just as much if not more than Cube loves Gina but my dick thought so much differently than my heart.

I pulled into the driveway and walked slowly up to the door. I banged on it hoping she would answer. After a few more bangs the light came on and I saw her curvy silhouette at the door. She slowly opened it and I know she was surprised to see me. "Eric?" She asked. "Hey can I come in? I needed someone to talk to."

...

I sat my mug down on her Cherrywood living room table as I finished talking. She just looked at me and sighed. "I can honestly say none of this surprises me." I frowned. "What why?" Cudda smirked. "E you a sweet guy but nonetheless you're nasty as fuck too you have a pussy addiction. I know you were drunk when we did it but I remember everything." I rolled my eyes.

"So for you to sit here and tell me that some bitch from Watts is getting ready to have your baby girl in June and that another one in Baldwin Hills is about to have a girl in April and that you fucked my friend Kai at your release party and that she may be expecting... none of that is shocking to me." I groaned because it sounded much worse to hear it from someone else. "What's shocking is how these chicks is having babies for you and yet the one you love hasn't even had a pregnancy scare!" I cringed. "What's up with that."

I shook my head. "I don't know man, it's like I know I love her I always have and I always will. It's just my old life... I just can't change over night I can't do it." Cudda scooted closer to me. "Well... maybe you should let her go...stop hurting her so much. Because at the end of the day you're doing this to her." I heaved a sigh and looked at her. Her hazel eyes were so fucking beautiful. I may have been drunk when we first had sex but I remember being captivated by her eyes before her body. If anything it's fair to say...Cudda was like my second love after Cheeky.

I leaned in and kissed her. She pulled away quickly but I put my finger under her chin and kissed her again. It turned from small pecks to long French kisses and she leaned back into the couch pulling me on top of her.

...

We ended up in her bed. We fucked and we made love. She was the second woman I had ever made love to Janet was the first. But she should be the only one I make love to or stick my dick in period. But I just couldn't help it. I looked and seen Cudda was fast asleep. I rubbed my hand down my face in pure frustration and guilt. It's just so hard to give this shit up...

Hey guys!! Another update!! I hope you guys like it!! I have a lot of inspiration so I'm going to work even harder to get this book done and make it a crazy roller coaster ride for you guys!! I hope you love on this chapter another one will be up soon!! Like/comment!! More to come!!!