Loving Eazy...

A Legacy Like No Other...

Listen to the music in the MM

April 7, 1995- Janet's POV

I put my black hat on and straightened my dress. I looked at myself in the mirror and I felt like I had when I first found out that E was gone. I'll never forget that day, he was so cold and as much as I tried to squeeze his hand and get him to respond to me, he wouldn't. He was dead before I even got to the damn hospital. I spent my time comforting his mother, being brought in to the family even more than I already was. I got to know his children more, it was sad because the only ones who were truly aware of what was going on were lil E, Erica and Derrek. Londyn was coming to the funeral as well but I know it was going to take a while for her to really understand that her father was gone. She was only 5 after all.

But I also wanted her to see how much of a inspiration her father truly was. How much love he received out here in LA and how much of a difference that he made in people's lives. I didn't want her to remember her dad as just a rapper who passed away from AIDS, I wanted her to know that he was Eazy-E, a Compton hardhead turned California legend and without him, the world would be be much different.

I walked into her room, and saw her sitting on her bed in her little black and silver dress. "Are you ready baby girl?" She looked at me and giggled innocently. "Yes Mommy I'm ready." She stood up and walked over to me, I took her hand and we walked towards the door. Pac wasn't here, he was once again in the studio. We walked out and the limo was there waiting for us. This was going to be a long day and one of the hardest of life.

...

"Mommy is this Daddy when he was little?" Londyn asked me as she looked at a picture of Eric when he was 10, the year I met him. "Yes that's your Daddy." "Daddy was cute," I smiled hearing her say that. Thinking back on our childhood days, who would've thought that we would've given into our love for each other and had the tumultuous relationship we ended up having. If 10 year old me had told 10 year old Eric back then after we had kissed for the first time ever that we were gonna have a baby some 15 years later, he probably would've been speechless. And if I had told him when we were 12 that he was gonna the owner of his record company he would've thought I was fucking with him. Crazy how things turn out right.

As the funeral began, I held my baby girl in my arms as I watched the pallbearers bring in Eric's beautiful golden casket. Yella was one of them and I saw his hand almost slip and lose his grip. I knew he was hurting we all were, but he was the one who stuck by E's side the entire time despite how fucked up things got, I'll always appreciate Yella for that.

...

We were now toward the end of the ceremony and after hearing his sister speak, his brother, and the pastor, it was now my turn to speak. I glanced at Mariah Carey and Boyz to Men as they harmonized silently. I got to the mic and cleared my throat. "Good afternoon everyone." They all greeted me back. "I'm... Janet Jackson, and my relationship to Eric was legally his ex wife but in my heart and I'm sure in his, his best friend and one of the great loves of his life because he was certainly the greatest love of my life. Eric was my first everything, and I mean it seriously. He was the first person I met when I moved to California when I was only 10. He was my first friend, my best friend. He was my first kiss, my first crush, my first boyfriend...my first time...the one who first told me that I had a beautiful singing voice, the first man to ever call me beautiful..." My voice broke a little.

"He was the father of my first...and only child. He was my heart warmer, he was my turn up and my excitement and he was my refuge when things got tough...even though things didn't work out between us and we just might have not been soulmates, I can maintain that I will never regret Eric being a part of my life. He was a great person, a great son, a great brother, a great father, a great friend, a great mentor and a great leader. That is what we should celebrate today." Tears began to stream down my face as I pushed my sunglasses further onto my face. "It is dark all over Los Angeles today because we lost a great soul who wanted nothing more than to keep it real and bring actual change to people's lives in this city and all over. And Eric I just want to say that you have done just that...you have changed my life, your band mates lives and made things better for the child we have as well as your other children. Even though you're gone E, I just want to say to you one last time that you are the love of my life and I along with many others will continue in your footsteps and keep it real and ruthless...thank you."

I stepped back to loud applause and I began to so as I leaned against Eric's casket. Yella came and took me back to my seat. The sounds of "One Sweet Day" began to play and Mariah's angelic voice soundly loudly as the pallbearers began to life his casket to carry it to his burial plot. I was just in disbelief, next I was about to see Eric be buried. I knew it would hurt I didn't think it would feel like my heart was being ripped away from me.

...

I stormed up to Gina's house furious. I thought that even though Cube didn't get to see Eric before he passed that he would have at least come to see him off for good. But he didn't, Ren and Dre didn't show up either but I couldn't get to them now I was only concerned about Cube. Gina opened the door with tears dripping down her face and lil O'Shea standing by her side. "Where is Cube?" I asked and Gina barely pointed upstairs. I walked up the stairs expecting to find Cube watching TV or something. But instead I found the room empty but with the sound of a really sad song playing. "The fuck?" I reached for the record player in an attempt to stop it but Cube's wretched voice stopped me. "No! Leave it alone!" He yelled out and I turned to see that he was sitting in his closet with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped around them.

"Cube...why didn't you come to the funeral?" I demanded and Cube just put his head down. I stared at him and slowly my anger went away. Then I took the time to actually listen to the lyrics of the song he had on repeat. Those I'm missing you, I'll find a way to get through. Living without you, because you were my sister my strength and my pride. Only God may know why, still I will get by! Damn now I see why Cube has it on, those lyrics are a really fitting way to describe the guys and what they were probably feeling right now.

"I...I got this song from my friend Queen Latifah. It's for a movie that she's doing and she wanted me to listen to it. What's funny is the day that I decided to listen to it was the day.. the day he passed. Damn E..." I watched as he began to cry uncontrollably, I sat down next to him and opened my arms. He came into them and I just felt tears leaking down my neck. I began to cry too and the song wasn't helping matters. "I can't believe he's gone..." Cube sobbed and I nodded. "It's okay.. it's okay." I soothed him and closed my eyes just letting everything sink in.

Was Eric perfect. Hell no not by a long shot. And he did make mistakes like we all will do before we leave this world. But he was also one of a kind, and he truly loved the guys and music and I would like to believe he truly loved me. And he loved his kids and his city so much that he'd do whatever it took to make sure he could do some good. That was his lifelong mission, just to do some good. And I truly think he succeeded. Without Eric Wright, the world would be very different.

The life and times of Eazy-E were definitely not easy but it was something we needed. E was needed. His legacy is something unmatched. Eric has a legacy like no other...

Like/comment. More to come.