Smithereens || reddie

"I Dont Want You To Die"

I go to science class which is hard because last time I went there I ended up in the bathroom crying. I walked in a little early so only like 3 people were there. I sat down in my usual spot and started on the Do Now. As I was working the two girls who were gossiping last class walked in. They sat down right behind me and again started chatting about me ignoring the fact that I could perfectly hear them.

Girl#1: I told you he was gay and dating richie.

Girl#2: yeah but their only 16.

Girl#1: well richie is 17.

Girl#2: not the point I was trying to make.

Girl#1: Either way they are still probably having sex.

I hear them talking and at first I get angry. Is that what people really think of me? At first I'm a little upset but then think "Why the hell should I be upset" I sit back in my chair and hold my big fat middle finger up to them. I hear the first girl gasp. I don't turn around for the rest of class.

*at lunch*

I sit down at my friends usual table. I sit and start eating. Stan, Beverly, Ben, and Richie are still in the lunch line. Me, Bill, and mike bring our own. As I'm chewing on my string cheese, the girl from science class comes up to me. The second one.

Girl#2: hey, my name is Julie. I just want to-

Richie: yo yo yo bro bro bro's!

All of my friends start to sit down at the table. She stares at them probably wondering if she should continue talking.

Julie: I wanted to say I'm sorry. What Lydia said back there was really fucked up and what I did was also fucked. I'm sorry.

I'm guessing Lydia was the first bitch.

Julie: if it makes you feel any better, I think you're really cool-

She gives me an awkward smile. I really don't know what to say.

Julie: I got kicked too. I-If that rumor was true.

Now she's saying something that actually interests me. She looks at my friends and th en quickly sits. My friends notice her but are too caught up in their conversation to acknowledge her.

Julie: They did not kick me out for being gay. But about a a year ago, when I was 15, I got pregnant.

I'm suddenly putting all of my attention on her.

Julie: My boyfriend convinced me to get high and then you know one thing led to another and boom. I didn't know what to do. I told my parents, my dad screamed and yelled while my mom starting throwing stuff down. And then they looked me straight in the eyes and told me that I was not their daughter. I obviously got an abortion because I was not ready. My body isn't ready either. Eventually I was assigned a foster home. With a foster family, in Derry Maine.

The cafeteria is always so loud but while she was talking I couldn't here anything else besides what she was saying.

Julie: and now I have brothers and sisters all different ages, sexuality's, races, and faces. I love them. But I'm having a lot of trouble fitting in. I guess because no one has ever really been through the same shit I went through. Besides maybe you. So again sorry for everything.

She stares at me for a second and then starts to stand grabbing her tray. I want to ask her to stay at my table but I'm too shocked that someone actually knows what it's like to be kicked out. Aside from the pregnant thing. I can't imagine being in her shoes, having all that pressure and stress. All I am able to do is quickly and lightly grab her arm, look her in the eyes.