Snow Angels (Larry Stylinson)✔️

24

Louis

How could I be so stupid? How could I not keep my lips to myself?

I don't have my mind figured out but here I am going around kissing Harry because I feel like it, it's stupid and reckless of me. My feelings is a complete mess so I don't know how I could make such a bad decision to bring Harry in to my mess.

I don't know how I'm feeling when I'm with Harry, I don't know if this thing we have going on is something I want to continue, it was fine being confused before the kiss... before the kiss there was no confirmation that he felt the same.

I don't know why I told him about my secret kingdom either, I have never told anyone about it. It have been my little secret.

I let myself sink back in to my sofa, I want to stop being confused but Harry makes it so hard for me.

The silence in my apartment is killing me, I hate the feeling of loneliness it leaves me with. I don't feel like I have any energy to walk over to my stereo and play the CD in it, I don't know if I want to hear Gerard Way's voice coming from the speakers either. I'm scared that he will remind me of how Harry's lips against mine felt... how they lit my whole body on fire.

So I just sit there in silence looking at the black TV screen with the bright red Text on it "Netflix".

I wake up the next day with an awful pain in my whole body, I have fallen asleep on the sofa. Sure it's a comfy one to sit on but it's not really as nice to sleep in as my bed.

In a few hours I will have to be at the arena and train for the first competition of this year, it's nothing like the X Games, it's just a little competition between the people of the UK.

But the X games isn't far away either, it scares me.

I walk around my apartment coffee cup in my hand, the coffee is strong and it embraces me like a warm hug.

The feeling of the caffeine going through my body and making me feel alive is there.

My phone is buzzing on the kitchen table but I don't look at it, I already know it Harry. I don't want to lead him on. I don't want to be that asshole that plays with someone's feeling when they don't know their own feelings...

Or I do know them, I know that I like Harry. That he makes me feel like I'm not alone... Like I am alive.

But I also know what being a part of his life means, I know the mess that it will leave behind us if he decide on actually acting on this. My whole carrier could change... or not exactly but I would no longer be most known for what I do... I would be known for who I'm with...

I know this isn't something that should bother me, but it's honestly the biggest reason I'm hesitating on Harry... I just don't know if I'm ready to be a part of his life in that way. If he would have a normal job then there wouldn't be a problem.

No one cares about my love life, my love life have never been the centre of attention. I'm scared that it will take over in every conversation I have. I don't want to be interviewed and questioned about Harry.... I want to be my own person.

My mind is a complete mess when I finally decide to pick up my phone... I wish I didn't thought, because the message on there makes me want to throw everything I've worked for to be with the curly haired boy.

From Harry:

I miss you

To Harry

I miss you too

I put my phone in my pocket and take my jeans jacket that's hanging on a hook by the door. I don't put it on just hold it in my hand when I make my way outside of my apartment.

After locking the door and making my way out in to the cold outside I decide to put it on.

My car is covered in a thin layer of frost, I don't want to stand out in the cold and scrape it of so I just turn my car on and sit inside of it until it finally goes away with the windscreen wipers.

I then let the music from the radio surround me while I drive to the arena for a few hours of training before meeting up with Harry again. I might be confused about how I want to do but I do know that I want to see him again.

And so Sally can wait, she knows it's too late as we're walking on by

Her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger I heard you say.

I don't sing along to the music, I just let it calm my body and mind down while speeding down the almost empty road.

And right there and then I know that no matter how much I try to convince myself about Harry I know there is only one way this will lead. There is only one thing that will happen and I can't stop it from doing so...