Snow Angels (Larry Stylinson)✔️

36

Harry

I know he has seen the video, how could he not have? It's all over the internet, there is no escaping it. It's not that I regret it, because I don't. But it's more that I wanted him to react.

It's been two weeks since the phone call, I haven't heard a word since then... every time I call I go straight to voicemail, I don't even bother to leave a message anymore.

Today is Louis big day, I want to be there but I also know that this radio silence from him is a pretty big sign that he doesn't want me there.

The finals, I have my ticket and everything laying on the kitchen table, I have been home for a few days and I feel like I can't even bother to go over to Louis apartment. Maybe we need some time from each other...

I keep telling myself that if we just start missing each other then everything else will fall in to place. Being away from each other is probably good for us.

But right now it feels like I'm the only one that is doing the missing part, so maybe we just need more time together before the being away part.

I know he said he missed me, but nothing indicated that those words were even true.

"Harry?" Niall walks in through the kitchen doorway, he finds me standing there with my eyes glued to the ticket.

"We should go you know." He says, I look up at him because I'm scared. Scared that if I meet Louis now this will be it. Because with this radio silence I can still pretend that we will work it out.

But if I meet him today and he decides that this is it, I don't know what I would do. I'm not ready.

"I don't know..." I mumble scared to admit it to him, scared of what I might lose if I go...

But at the same time I'm scared of what I might miss if I don't go.

My heart is being torn in two and I don't know which part of it that I need to listen to right now. Nothing makes sense right now.

"What the heck are you talking about? Of course you're going the dude is your fucking boyfriend for fucksake!" Niall is almost shouting at the end of the sentence, I know he is frustrated about how this turned out, how my mopping around is effecting his and Liam's days too.

I don't mean to be such a downer but right now I don't know what else to do.

"Go get dressed and meet me down here when you're done."

I look down at my grey sweatpants and burgundy sweatshirt.... I thought I was dressed....

Walking up the stairs was harder than I expected, and not only because I'm having a little cold so I can't breathe properly... no more like it gets harder to breathe because I don't know what will happen next.

I hate not knowing... but I'm scared that knowing will hurt me more.

After I get dressed in a pair of black jeans and just an old Nirvana shirt that might be Louis I'm downstairs again together with Niall.

I look at my jackets that's hanging in the closet, but my eyes only falls on one. The jeans jacket with fur, it was Louis to begin with and somehow it ended up at my place...

Pulling it on just reminds me of the night when I picked him up and we were just driving around. We were supposed to go to the movies but we just didn't go inside.

That night when we drove around just listening to music, spending time together....

I wish I could turn back the time to when we were laying there on the cold grass just looking at the stars, just because Louis wanted to watch the stars with me.

Without even realizing it I'm smelling the jacket, I can still smell Louis on it. The hint of cigarette smoke makes a sad smile form on my face, I know he smokes when he is upset even if he doesn't want to admit it.

I've seen the pictures of him lately, I've seen the cigarettes that he have consumed.

I pull on a grey beanie over my curls before I follow Niall out to the car, snow is falling but not really staying on the ground. Liam is already sitting in the car waiting for us to jump in.

I decide not to be such a party pooper for them so I just sit in the back, maybe then they won't notice me or even care... I know that's a lie.

"Are you excited to see Louis kick some ass?" Liam asks when we're on the road, he defiantly didn't get the memo of not mentioning Louis...

Not one word in two weeks... and before that? Just a few words... words that hunt me every time I'm alone.

I don't answer him so the rest of the car ride is completely silent. I don't understand why they don't put on music, but I'm not going to ask either.

When we arrive we get to walk in through the back door because apparently it was a safety risk if we didn't, I just want to blend in today. I don't want to be Harry Styles today...

"You want to go back to see Louis first or should I show you to your seats?" The guy who is working asks us, I want to act like a kid and glare at him for not knowing... but how would he know... no one knows...

The outside world thinks we're fine, maybe we are... deep down I know no matter what I try to tell myself it won't matter...

Deep down I know I'm just lying to myself... denying the truth.

"We will just go to our seats, we will meet Louis after." Niall saves us.... Or me.

He shows us to one of the small buildings that are close to the slope, apparently famous people and reporters get to sit here so they don't have to be around everyone else...

Time passes and suddenly there is a voice telling everyone who is going down the slope. I watch a couple of people go down the slope, none who is as good as Louis...

One name stands out from the rest, Louis... it's his turn now.

I stand up and goes over to the big window to get a good look, and there he is.

Music starts playing and I recognise the song... Use somebody by Kings of Leon... Louis loves this song.

He goes down the slope without any problem, he is beautiful.

I can feel the tears fall from my eyes when I watch him... he is here.

My emotions isn't making any sense. I just feel so overwhelmed.