Try Again: Shawn Mendes ✔️

11

Shawn Mendes

I couldn't believe how beautiful she still looked. She moved her hair back looking down at her hands.

"Tell me" I move closer. "How did you feel? What did you do after?" I ask her. I wanted to feel the pain I caused her because to be honest my break up with Lia didn't effect me as much. I felt nothing. Of course it hurt a little but probably not the same as when Athena left me.

"I erm, came back to New York. I took a job, I worked with Empire Zane. I bought that apartment, my mum and dad talk to me now and I see my brothers more" I tell him.

"That's great Athena but how did you feel?" I ask her, I truly wanted to know.

"Like... like shit. I flew straight here. No one called me at all, no one cared about me because everyone took your side. If fact I got messages that I 'broke you'. I stayed up with Sam every night for six months, poppy had broken up with him so we bonded over being lovely" she chuckles sadly.

"I cried so much, I ended up using work as a distraction. I spent so long trying to get you out of mind my mind and I eventually did. Even when people would hate on me or call me out in the street for hurting you, I ignored it"

I felt so guilty. I caused all this.

"I'm sorry, for everyone doing that to you" I say softly. "You should be" She scoffs. "Lilly, Camille, Myles everyone hated me, no one would talk to me and when I moved here I had no one but my family even then I felt so lonely"
A tear slips her eye.

"I-I had no idea" I place a hand on her cheek rubbing the tear away.

"Of course you didn't. You didn't bother with me" She whisper.

"I wanted to-"

"No you didn't, if you really wanted to you would've reached me it wasn't that hard. I stayed up so many nights looking at my phone hoping you'd call and at least tell me you love me, even if you didn't. I never blocked you, I never removed your number" She shakes her head. "I called you several times, even if I was drunk I still called"

Now I know I totally ruined her. I was an ass and ignored her calls.

"If you really wanted to see me again it would've been easy for you. I moved in with my parents for six months and you know they live here. I was in the spotlight with Empire Zane, so don't tell me you tried because you didn't" she then moves my hand.

"Athena it was hard for me to see you"

"Hard for you?" She says in disbelief.

"You didn't have to live for so long with people thinking you broke such a sweetheart" She scoffs. "You hurt me. You broke my heart, you cheated on me and no one knew. You said you loved me then cheated, you came back had sex with me then told me. Do you know how shitty that made me feel? It felt like I was worth nothing. Like I can't be loved anymore because there will always be someone better than me" she was full on crying now and it broke my heart.

I move closer and hesitantly wrap my arms around her. Maybe she was too vulnerable in the moment but her body melted in my arms.

"Could I please make it up to you? Please Athena, I hate myself for making you feel this way and I hate myself more now I that I know from you what I did. I don't want you to feel like that" I tell her rubbing her back as she hiccuped.

"It'll never be the same" she whispers moving away to stand up.

I quickly take her small hand. It fit so perfectly.

"I will try and try again to have you in my arms" I tell her my voice cracking with emotion.

She shakes her head and moves away. "Well don't. I'm fine right now. Please don't walk into my life right now"

Her words stung me. I watched her leave and close the door behind her.

I so desperately wanted her back. I wasn't going to listen to her this time. She told me to leave her alone last time and it cause her so much pain. I wished I had picked up the phone at least once when she called.

She's still so beautiful, she was hurting and I managed to make her hurt even more.

And the award for the shittiest person in the word goes to me.