"Strawberry smoothie for you" I hand Athena the smoothie but her gaze was somewhere else. I follow and see that there was alone of people waiting outside and already in a line.
"Don't worry about it" I tell her. She nods looking down at the table, twirling her straw around.
"What do we do now?" She asks, the question completely threw me off. I had no idea what to do now. First of all we had no trust between us, we weren't really in a relationship. Second my baby is in her stomach, there's now way I'm leaving her. Third, I can just tell by her face that she was just so lost.
I of course take the blame for where we are right now. I hundred percent take responsibility. That's why I'm willing to do whatever to make it right. She might not believe it but I really do love her.
"Well we can decide together" I tell her gently. "I want to be with you and the baby all the time, I don't want to miss out so-"
"I'll have to move back in?" She asks cutting me off.
"I mean it would be ideal, unless you have something else in mind. We could get a house here or in Canada?" I say hesitantly that it sounded like a question.
"I don't know yet" she shrugs. I nod showing that I understand but she wasn't even looking at me.
"And erm I'll book the doctors appointment, I'll go to every single one with you" I tell her. "And I can get you and the baby anything you need, just say the word"
Athena finally looks up at me. "Do you want this baby?" She asks.
"Oh god yes. I told you I want children with you Athena, that's not changing" I say. "Do you want this baby?" I ask back.
She nods softly. "I do want this baby"
I wish I could take it back. Every time I wronged her it got worse and worse and she didn't deserve it. The moment we got good I decided to fuck it up.
She lets out a yawn, her eyes fluttering with tiredness. "We can go back home- sorry my place and you can sleep if you want" I suggest. I was going to do everything to make her feel okay. I don't even know if she wants to be with me in the long term but in the end if she decides to leave, I want to her to leave knowing I care about her.
"I think I'll go back to Leon's, I need to just chill out for a few days" She says, her voice cracking a little making my heart ache.
"Let's go" I tell her. She stands up and I notice her face gets a little pale as she sees everyone outside, her hand instantly going to her stomach.
"I'm gonna throw up" she mumbles. She quickly rushes into the bathroom and I'm left waiting for her.
I decide to go outside. "Hey guys, it's really late right now and Athena is just really tired. If you don't mind could you please just move out the way a little so she can get passed. I really appreciate it" i shout so everyone could hear me. The people move back a little but they were still really loud.
"Shawn! Are you and Athena still engaged? She hasn't been wearing her ring!"
"When's the wedding Shawn?"
"Did you guys argue at the cafe?"
I ignore everyone watching Athena walk out the bathroom. She spots me and walks out the door. I put my hand out to her and she hesitated for a second then took it inching closer to me. Almost hiding her face in my back as I lead her to my car.
"Get in" I tell her. She quickly gets in and I jog over to the other side quickly driving away from the crowd.
As i start driving I hear quiet sniffling coming from Athena. I quickly glance at her seeing her looking down at her phone.
I pull over taking her phone from her hands.
"Why are you reading this crap?" I ask her looking at the comments on her Instagram post. "Everyone thinks I hurt you" her voice so fragile. She didn't deserve this at all.
"Oh Athena" I sigh. I log out of her account shoving her phone in my pocket. "I'll put something out tonight and then we're going on a media cleanse. No one knows the truth but us" I tell her. She nods wiping her eyes.
"When should we tell everyone about the baby? I can't hide it forever" she sniffles. "Not yet, we need time to ourselves first. To figure this out " I say gently.
"Figure it out" she repeats under her breath. She looked so lost, staring down at her hands that rest in her stomach. Her eyes filled with emptiness, an oxymoron in its self.
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Liked by 4,678,800 Shawnmendes: she deserves the world and I'm just sad I can't give it to her. I love you.
