11. Jelly

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Today is Saturday and the serpents and I are down at the beach again. Toni and I are sitting on a stone and the boys are fouling around on the water. "So you guys got into a fight? Shit jules", "I know but it's okay now the thing is I feel like I should hmm show him how much I like him but ehm I don't know how. Look T you've had relationships before" " you mean you love him but you can't say it"
"No I can say it" no I can't "It's just I don't k ow how he'll react, I don't want to scare him" lies, I simply don't know if what I feel is love because I never felt it before.
"If you love him... just say it, he loves you too haha I've never seen sweet pea so happy. Honestly, you two are goals"
"Haha thanks i guess I'll tell him then later" shit I'm scared

Later sweet pea and I ate something at pops. It was just the two of us and I couldn't stop thinking about what Toni said. "Babe, what are you thinking about" I must have drifted of again
"I- I love you" I look straight into his eyes with a serious expression.
Why isn't he saying anything, I start feeling bad I knew this was a bad idea. He opens his mouth and I wait eagerly for his response "okay" he whispers.
Okay. In this moment this was the word I hated the most. It hurts bad, I made myself vulnerable and this is what I get. It's always been like this.
Okay. I said 'I love you' and he didn't say it back. I feel stupid. Why did I do that why why why. I don't want to cry, I just sit there eating my food but my heart aches. It feels like strings are around it and somebody is pulling so bad at it that it nearly explodes.
The awkward silence is back and I can feel his glaze on me but I can't look at him now, I can't. I humiliated myself.
We finished our food and went home I went straight to the living room and started doing my homework. Sweet pea said he had to meet Jughead and rushed out. I sink back on the sofa and put my hands at my head. What was I thinking?

~Sweet peas pov:
I feel stupid. She opened up to me and I couldn't say it back. I know how hard it is for her to show emotions and now i made her feel stupid. Shit sweet pea you idiot. I think as I ride on my bike towards Jughead. He was at the drive-in cinema doing something. I arrive and walk fast towards him.
"Sweet pea"
"Jones I need your help"
"Wha-"
"Julia, she said I love you and I couldn't say it back. But I do love her, i think"
"You think?"
"Dang Jones you know how I am. I grew up without a family I don't fucking know how love feels like"
Jones starts laughing but I don't think this is funny
"Jones"
Now he is serious, I know he is Julia's best friend and she means a lot to him
"Look sweet pea, if yelling at her in an argument doesn't make your throat burn like you just downed 6 shots, you're not in love with her. If her eyes can't make you stop in your tracks and think about what you're going to say next, you're not in love with her. If her laugh doesn't make you tense up you knuckles thinking about never hearing it again, you're not in love with her. If her voice can't calm you worst anger attacks and makes you want to listen to anything she has to say, you're not in love with her. If her smile doesn't make your chest quake and your lungs shrink but feel refreshed all in one motion, you're not in love with her. So, do you love her?"
Usually I would've laughed at him because his poetic site comes out but now I'm just really thankful because he made me realise
"Yes, I do love her" I whisper
"Then go and tell her" Jones says, I go toward my bike and think about how I made her feel. Hopefully she will forgive me.
After a short and fast ride I arrive at the trailer, storm towards the door and run in the living room to see her lying on the sofa. "Julia I love you" she looks at me with big eyes.
"Screaming at you when we argue is the worst I ever felt and at the same time just looking at you makes me the happiest man alive. I never really felt love but I realised that you showed me how to. So I love you Julia Sofia Monroe, I love you"

~Julia's pov:

Wow I don't even know what to say. Did he have to use my whole name?
Anyway this was so unexpected that I froze. He stood in the door screaming at me that he loves me. Now I stand up and jump in his arms and kiss him with a big smile on my face.
This kiss wasn't like the others. It wasn't fast or full of lust it was full of love and nothing and nobody can destroy this moment. This is still very new for me but as long as he's by my side I won't feel anxious about it. 
He puts me down and strokes my cheeks.
We both just smile at each other
"I- I have to tell toni"

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A/N: I'm sorry if this was too cringey.
Tell me if you like those cringey romantic things because I actually don't but I feel like it pushes the story ahead. Cause they are deeply connected and stuff you know. Anywaysss tell me if you liked it :)

And Happy new year🎊🎉

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