Just The Two Of Us <Sweet Pea FF>

92. No Fixed Abode

"What are you doing here?"

I have to admit, it's a weird feeling, seeing Sweet Pea stand in the threshold, hair ruffled by the wind and his helmet, leather jacket on as always and a look of pure exhaustion on his face.

"I- I don't know" his eyes fall to the floor, "Can I come in?"

My plan of trying to avoid him still stands but I can't kick him out, not when he seems so sad.

"Sure" we walk up to my room and while I sit down in my bed, he awkwardly stands in the middle of the room, familiar yet not quite comfortable anymore.

"You can sit down...if you'd like to."

"Thanks." He murmurs and sits down next to me.

A weird sentiment shoots through my heart. Every inch of my body aches to touch him and comfort him for whatever happened. But then again it feels wrong. So utterly wrong that it hurts my brain.

It's not even been a week since Betty told me he has a girlfriend now. Mia, a fellow cheerleader, too nice to hate.

"How's Mia?" It just slips past my lips, way more passive aggressive than intended. Maybe it's mean of me to kick him when he's down, remind him that I know about her, maybe even give him a bad conscientes for sitting in my bed when he has a girlfriend. But I can't take my words back now.

For this entire week my mind knew nothing more than Mia and Sweet Pea. And their names fit so much better than ours. Meet Pea or even Sia. Is that a sign? Probably.

With their relationship being official, the possibility of us getting back together is drastically reduced. Which is probably for the best.
But their relationship also brings up so many questions. According to Betty they've been talking for a while and Mia has had a huge crush on him for a while but didn't act on it because of me. Still, they texted and talked apparently, even during everything that happened. When Sweet Pea asked her out she was over the moon, according to Betty. I mean sweet pea and I haven't been a couple for a long time so what can I say?

But with everything that happened during our skiing trip... she must've known what we did. Either way, he moved on pretty fast after what I said that day in the broom closet. How can he switch up so fast?

I need to work on forgetting him, just like he forgot me. But then again, why is he sitting in my bed at 12:14 and not hers?

"Good, yeah. Good. Yes, I'm very lucky."

"Lucky?" I know that if you're always telling yourself how lucky you are, you are just too scared to ask how happy you are. But this time my lips stay sealed and I keep my thoughts to myself.

"Yes," he says, almost absentmindedly before he looks at me, "How's your arm?" His fingers brush over my hand.
"Sucks pretty much."

He chuckles. It feels so good to hear him happy. A sound I haven't heard in a long time, yet crave it like an addict. As quickly as his laugh came, it disappears.

"I've been thinking about you a lot. Have you been thinking about me?"

I sigh. Had I known that we would hold this conversation I wouldn't have even opened the door.

Yes, there is rarely a time when I don't think about you. And for the last couple days your girlfriend as well.

"No, I try not to, because getting over you was the hardest thing I ever had to do." At least it's half true.

He has a girlfriend.

Betty's words haunt my mind like a broken record. A screeching that plays over and over in my head. Hurting me again and again. But it shouldn't. It shouldn't hurt that much.

He hums and pulls his hand back.
"That's actually not why I came here."
"No?"

"No" he considers for a moment as if deciding what aspects to leave out.
"My mother temporarily lives with me. And when I came home one of her lovers was there." He spits the words out with such disgust.

"She didn't ask you?"

"Nope. That's what she does. My mother only cares about herself. Over the years she only ever contacted me when she needed something. Mostly money."

"I'm so sorry. If I would've known, I would've never told you to let her stay with you." Pity fills my blood and curses through my veins until I can't help but feel bad for him with every fiber of my body.

"It's not your fault. I just always hope she'd change. She never does. It's always disappointing with her. She simply doesn't care about me."

A weird thing occurs. His voice turns from hurt into cold. Maybe it's the anger about her actions or simply that he's used to it.

"I'm not fighting for anything more than myself." He says and the faintest grin hushes over his face, knowing I'll understand the reference.

"Casablanca" I hum at the memory, "I care about you. And I always will" I admit, a truth I never wanted to share, yet hoping it would cheer him up.

"He has a girlfriend." Betty looked at me with such pity

"Who?" I tried to sound nonchalantly but how could I? It's been a couple days since we stood in the broom closet and kissed.

"Mia. You know-"

"Yeah..." I know, she's a friend of mine, of all of us. But it's fast, it's really fast.

He has a girlfriend.

"Can I stay the night? I don't really want to go home."

Exhale, inhale, sigh. This is probably the worst thing I can do in order to move on. Because that is still my number one priority, to move on and pursue happiness. Yet I don't have the strength to kick him out. And it just feels so good to have him near me.

"Alright."

He lays down on his back, like he's done so many times before.
I lay down in his arm, like so many times before.
It feels the same, yet it isn't.
In fact everything is different. He's just a friend seeking comfort and I'm a friend providing it.

He has a girlfriend.

For a while we just lay there, starring at the blank ceiling, both aware of the fact that the other is still awake, yet choosing to stay silent and enjoy the calmness of the hour.

He has a girlfriend.