What was Lost and Found in the Fire

Ch. 51 Family First

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Sang's POV

Location: Front of the Lockheart Manor

Date: End of November

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We get back around late evening, after dinner most likely, and it leaves me grumpier than a mama bear separated from her cubs.

The guys gave me so much trouble when I tried to stuff Nathan into the trunk of Mr. Blackbournes little Tesla and Kota refused to step foot in the vehicle with Mr. Blackbourne. Gabriel and Kota wouldn't sit next to each other, and then Luke wanted to be put in the trunk, for goodness only knows why. Probably a headache from all the yelling.

So, I got Gabriel up front, switched a furious Nathan with a very pliable Luke for the trunk, and shoved the three whiniest ones into the tiny backseat of the Tesla. And duck-taped every mouth.

 My driving has remarkably deteriorated, maybe because now I can make the men in the backseat squish into each other when I take sharp corners.
I do so to pull into the gate entrance and smirk in satisfaction when Kota's muffled yell is followed by Nathan's angry gwuaff in my direction.
Gabriel next to me chuckles behind his tape.

"We're here. There's only a few more corners," I tell them smugly.
Someone makes a deep growling noise. "Maybe next time you'll think twice about kidnapping an innocent friend from the past, aye?"

One of the guys says something behind their tape and I ignore them. 

The gate opens, and I cruise through, politely waving to whoever is in the guard post today. 

It's a few more minutes, and a couple more (hehe) sharp corners, before I see the procession awaiting me in front of the Lockheart Manor.

I see the kids first, only because they're bouncing so much that it's nearly impossible to miss them. Then Kay'ari, because she's standing among them with a glower that could sink the moon. 

Then the rest of the darkly-dressed men surrounding her detach from the darkness of the 5:30 evening hours. I open my window, and wave but only the kids wave back.

Gabriel and I share a look, mine of trepidation, and his of confusion. 

"She told me to take more people with me this morning, but I really thought Luke had good intentions." My eyes fly back to the road, but not fast enough to miss the look of guilt pass his expression.

"Mmm sryyy." Gabriel mumbles.

I'm not though, so I don't respond back.

When we finally got back from our coastal getaway, I thought it would be different. When we went after the kids, I thought it would feel more fulfilling, but it wasn't. It just made me realize how much more prepared for my eventual betrayal Dontavion was, and how much more serious I need to be to take him down...

The un-tethered disconnect from everything around me is still present and it feels almost too heavy to bear most of the time; I feel as if I'm lost, drifting in between emotional responses to everything I've been through but not really touching any of them.
It's all been numbed as if someone had taken a bristle brush and swiped away my mental nervous system, leaving only anger and sadness and regret.

Today though, for such a brief moment I felt alive again.

Luke's sweet date brought forth a feeling of playfulness and fun.

Gabriel's harried attention and demanding presence made me feel special and looked after....right before he stoked the flames of my true personality and something even brighter came when I took him and Luke both down.