What was Lost and Found in the Fire

Ch. 50.5 Duck and Dive

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A Report

Location: Hotel Room

Date: Right before Sang comes and points a gun at the guys

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"The plane leaves tonight," Nathan reminds Kota. 

Kota doesn't respond back, still fuming over Nathan's obstinate actions over the last few days. Instead of talking about the girl from their past, or their friends, or anything of real importance, Nathan seemed to only want to talk about their next semester of school.

To make it worse, when Kota contacted the Academy, they didn't want to hear about Sang and the kidnapped victims housed at the Lockheart Estate. No, instead they wanted to talk about missions Kota and Nathan could do while in the area.  

Both guys shove clothes, wires for computers, and other miscellaneous objects into their suitcases to avoid looking at each other. With the situation being as tense as it has been over the course of days, neither wanted to be the first to call the either out.

At least not at first.

"Come on, Kota. You can't still be mad at me?" Nathan nearly whines, "The Academy sent the tickets. I planned to stay until you at least got to see her. But really, it's time to go! She doesn't even remember her. What's the point of staying?"

Kota stops himself from barking back in anger. He reminds himself that while Nathan doesn't seem upset at the events of the past few weeks, that couldn't be further from the truth. He's just gotten good at tuning out anything to do with depressing situations.

Years of practice have turned him into a professional avoid-er.

"Kota." Nathan barks out, tired of being ignored. 

I guess we're going to have it all out then, Kota sighs inwardly to himself.

"It was wrong of you to confirm tickets for both of us. I feel like you've been more worried about everything but Sang actually being alive, and it's making me feel like you don't care." Kota explains himself as carefully as he can, but cringes at the accusatory tone he can't help with this particular subject.

"The tickets were always for today. We bought round trip tickets," Nathan defends himself. "And You won't talk about it either? We both are dealing with this whole thing, and we're both supposed to be in this together. I know we made that....," Pact? Promise? Ritualistic Hooha? "...commitment, to never talk about her again, but she's alive! I mean, I'm not sure what to say? But she doesn't remember us, and the other guys have already jumped into getting back with her? It's weird. I'd like to take some time to process all of this. I thought you'd feel the same way." Nathan rambles.

"We are in this together, but that means knowing where we both stand," Kota argues. "I would have liked to stay and meet with her once, maybe even a few times. We thought she was dead. We traveled across the country to see her. Now we're leaving?" Kota shakes his head, not understanding Nathan's thought process.

"What if she remembers everything? What if she asked for us? I want to be here, and now you've cemented us into a commitment to go back and report to the Academy about everything going on here."

Kota can't help but feel disappointed. His wish to connect with Sang again feels at war with his relationship with Nathan, and also with the Academy. And yet he also feels hesitant to even try to get a hold of her. So many years have gone by. She doesn't remember them. It's like anvil after anvil of obstacles are just piling up and it feels like too much to overcome.