I Fell For My Brothers Best Friend ➳ A.I ➳ 5SOS

Chapter 14

(Abigail's P.O.V)

I haven't left my room since i got back from the recording studio, even though it was fun to see how the guys worked on songs. When Luke got the call about a gig, they were all so happy. I'm happy for them but...if the guys get famous, they're gonna be touring and I won't be able to see Ashton anymore. I won't see Micael, Calum and I won't even see my brother.

I want them to become big, that's they're dream. I'm just afraid of losing them. They are gonna have girls all over them and I bet that there will be girls 100% prettier than me throwing themselves at Ashton. God why am I torturing myself with this?

I haven't answered Ashton's phone calls are texts. I locked my bedroom door and I don't open it at all. I haven't eaten and frankly, I'm not hungry. All of this thinking has taken control of me and I don't know how to stop it.

"Abbie, can you open the door please?" Luke banged against the door.

This happens a few times every hour. He tries to get me out, then gives up for awhile then comes back and tries again. When will he understand I wanna be alone.

My phone buzzed and I picked it up, looking at the screen and my eyes beginning to water. I opened the twitter app and saw all the tweets towards me about the video. 'Slut' 'whore' 'worthless' 'ugly' 'fat'.

I threw my phone on the other side of the bed before getting up and walking to the bathroom. I stood in front of the sink and looked at myself in the mirror. My makeup that I've had on since yesterday was now running down my face, tear stains on my cheeks. I opened the drawer to grab a towel but stopped when I saw my razor.

Should I? I heard people say it takes away the pain. But if I start, will I be able to stop?

I grabbed the towel and wet it, ignoring my thoughts as I wiped the makeup off my face. I put the towel on the hanger beside the sink and looked back into the drawer.

I took a shaky breath before grabbing the razor and taking a blade out. I put the razor down and slide down the bathroom wall, bringing my knees up to my chest as I sat down. I held the blade in my right hand as I brought my left wrist up.

'No, don't do it. This won't help. Talk to somebody, talking it out will help. Don't hurt yourself.' The voice in my head repeated over and over as I pressed the blade against my skin.

This will help...this will help...

"Shit..." The blood rushed to the surface of my skin and I clenched my hand into a fist due to the pain.

I repeated this a few times, before stopping and closing my eyes as I rested my head against the wall.

I got up and put the blade back into the drawer before shutting it and going into the other drawer to grab a smaller towel. I wet it and cleared my wrist, dabbing lightly so it didn't hurt.

After I cleaned up, I hid the towel in my laundry basket and walked into my room, grabbing a black sweater and putting it on.

I went back to my bed and grabbed my phone. I shut it down and placed it on my night stand before sitting on the bed, facing the direction of the door, and hugging my knees to my chest.

Help me...

(Ashton's P.O.V)

"No, she's a 10." Calum said.

Calum and Luke were watching girls walk by as we walked down the street from the mall.

"No, she isn't that pretty Cal." Luke responded.

"Guys, you are really rude. Every girl is pretty in they're own way, right Ash?" Michael said, looking over at me.

I nodded and Calum rolled his eyes. "Your just agreeing because you have a girlfriend and you don't wanna seem shallow."