Glee: Back to the Top (the third book in the Glee series)

Chapter 15: Girls Also Poop

I apologize for all of the songs in this chapter. There were just so many good ones for this storyline that I couldn't resist.

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"You know," said Ryder as he reached Julie at her locker, "if it weren't super creepy, I'd really like there to be cameras in the locker rooms so I can show everyone what a hypocrite you are."

"What are you talking about?" Julie responded as she turned to him.

"I know you tried to manipulate Stefan into losing the election on purpose," said Ryder. "Too bad you couldn't get him to like you. Must feel weird to finally find a guy who isn't impressed by you."

Julie laughed. "Are you serious?" she said. "So you don't know about his little obsession with me?"

"Why do you think everyone's obsessed with you?" he said. "You know, Julie, you make it very easy to get over you."

"Same goes to you," Julie responded, slamming her locker shut and walking away. Ryder watched her walk off, kicking the locker below hers in anger before heading in the opposite direction.

***

"What is this?" Bree asked when she saw Jordan handing out buttons to the people passing by. She snatched one of them from her but Jordan continued to pass them out. It read: FEMINISTS? More like MISANDRISTS! Do NOT vote Vasquez-Welsh!

"Vote for Carrie," Jordan told people as she handed them buttons. 

"You're running an anti-us campaign?" Bree spat at her angrily. "On what grounds?"

"We heard all about your little boy draft," Jordan shrugged. "And the McKinley girls are kind of upset about it. But Carrie wants to thank you for getting them into the feminist spirit for us. You really made it easy to gain support. It's only Wednesday and the polls show us neck-to-neck with Lynn-Montgomery, with you and Mexican Psycho a great gap below us."

Bree glared at her before fuming through the hallways until she reached Stefan, who was directing people towards his taco truck. "That way!" he was chanting. "That way for your free tacos!" He stopped mid-sentence when angry, terrifying Bree appeared in front of her. 

"I am going to castrate you," she hissed.

"Umm..." he responded, putting his hands in front of his junk protectively.

"Go away Bree," said Ryder as he appeared next to them. Stefan put away his free taco flyers so quickly that nobody noticed.

"She's threatening to emasculate me," Stefan told on her. Bree made a face at him for being such a wimp.

"That's what she and her partner do," Ryder said. "They think women are better than guys so they tear us down to push themselves off."

"Oh please," Bree rolled her eyes. "Like anyone's going to buy that game. We all know that you're only acting this way because you're in love with Julie and salty that she dumped you."

"You're just mad that everyone is seeing what's really behind that anti-misogyny mask of yours," he responded. "Hypocrisy. But you know and I know and they all know that you girls are just as bad as us dudes. Maybe even worse. And now we're going to get everyone's support."

[Cue "The Phoenix" by Fall Out Boy (you're welcome).]

The guys were now dressed in camouflage soldier uniforms, with black dashes under their eyes.

Stefan: Put on your war paint!

Bree's jaw dropped with anger as they attracted the attention of both genders, showing off their masculinity as sex appeal, like they had done with their dance moves.