Fourty

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Morning comes and I can't wait to be done with life. I had asked Felix yesterday if I could ride to school with him and Changbin again.

I check my phone and see a stomach-turning sight.

Minho
Are you doing okay babe?

I shiver at the nickname. It feels almost as bad as the previous one I was given. Ignoring the text, I greet my mom, eat breakfast and get ready for school.

Soon enough, I hear the doorbell ring and Felix is standing in the doorway.

"Hey. Are you ready?" he says.

"Yeah, let's go." I follow him to his boyfriend's car and we sit down. Changbin sits at the wheel and greets me happily. He still doesn't know what his best friend has done.

A couple minutes into the drive, Changbin brings up the topic I thought I had doged, "So Jisung, you never answered my question last time. Why is it that you want to ride with Felix and myself?"

"Nope." I say, facing straight forward.

"What?" Changbin makes a face.

"Nope." I repeat. Felix is absolutely cracking up.

"Your not going to tell me why, are you?" Changbin says in defeat.

"Yup."

We arrive at the school and I take careful steps towards my homeroom. If I manage to run into Minho in these hallways, this early in the morning, I'm doomed for the rest of the day.

"Hey, Jisung."

Why must you do this to me?

"Hey." I stop in my tracks and turn around. "Wait- Seungmin?"

"Uh, yeah. Who did you think I was?" Seungmin raises an eyebrow. We walk together into the classroom and set our things down.

"No one. I'm just a little frazzled this morning." I say. Seungmin nods and we take our seats.

As class goes on, I think through the best time to officially end my relationship. By the time we're finished, I decide that near the end of the day would be best. I'd rather not have to awkwardly sit through classes with him.

I wearily carry myself to foreign language class. There is nothing I dread more than this, but I'm not going to be a coward about it.

"Hey, Minho." I say.

"Hey, Jisung." he says with a smile. Minho should be a model. He's really good at making fake smiles.

"Hey, Minho." I say.

"You already said that."

"Hi."

"Hi..."

"Okay, let's start class." Mr. Tuan says. I face forward and listen to every single thing he says without actually listening.

As for Minho, I think I handled that well.

Except for the fact that I could feel tears welling up inside of me. If I continued to speak, they probably would've spilled by now.

I manage to survive throughout that class period. All that's left is lunch and social studies and I can finally release these bricks off my shoulders.

A little voice in the back of my head is telling me not to do this. That Minho still loves me. Part of me hopes that I'm just imagining the little voice.

The other part of me is desperately begging that voice to be right.

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