Hope for the Worst || Minsung

Fourty-One

“Hey, Jisung.” Felix waves to me.

“Don’t greet him,” Minho warns. “All he’ll do is greet you back.” The rest of the group gives him odd looks, but Minho just ignores it off.

I sit down silently and take time in noticing that the seating order changed. Starting from Chan, it goes Woojin, Changbin, Felix, Jeongin, Seungmin, Hyunjin, Minho, me, and back to Chan. Hyunjin looks uncomfortable sitting next to his boyfriend, but that's nothing new. I know the boy isn't out of the closet yet, and according to Woojin, Hyunjin gets awkward around the person he's dating.

Minho seemed to notice how unpleasant Hyunjin is acting too as he asks him, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." the boy replies in a nervous mumble before loosening up a bit and continuing to eat his lunch. I take note on the way he looks at Minho as he says that. There are little sparkles in his eyes as he looks up at the older.

The mood is tense unlike the previous lunches we’ve had together. A handful of words are exchanged, but not much. Everyone is clearly feeling off. Some aren’t sure why, some know exactly why.

Woojin tries to start up a conversation. “Yesterday, I went to the park and saw a kid on a swing-set. He was swinging normally than he fell off. It was really funny.”

“Was the kid okay?” Chan asks.

“Yeah, he was fine.” Jeongin assures.

“How do you know?” Chan says.

“I was the kid.”

From there, we all seem to be more comfortable in the atmosphere. I still can’t find the courage to talk, but it’s fun watching the others be happy.

“Are you doing alright, Jisung?” Chan leans over and whispers to me.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” We get up to scrape our trays and leave.

"Hey. If you can tell when I'm lying, then don't expect me to not be able to tell when you're lying. Now, be honest with me. What's wrong?"

"It's not the best time for me to tell you. Maybe some other time, I'll explain what's happening, but not right now." I say.

Chan nods in understanding as we walk down the halls to social studies. Before we go inside, Chan stops me.

"If you need help or have to talk to anyone, you know who to go to, okay?" he says to me. I smile as Chan pulls me into a quick hug.

Social studies goes by as expected. I was trying to avoid Minho at all costs and said things that even confused me in the process.

This is the last class until the big event, though. Only a few more minutes until I can break up with Minho.

Those few minutes pass and I'm nervous beyond belief. We all walk into the hallway and I pull Minho to the side, away from everyone. He gives me a confused look.

"What are you doing?" he asks. My heart is racing, ready to pound out of my chest.

"I, uh, wanted to tell you something." I stutter out. I feel my knees about to buckle. I won't allow them to, though. Not now.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" he asks. Minho softly places one hand on the side of my face as if he has some sense of decency. As if he wasn't such a shitty person as to go behind someone's back and tear their heart to bits. As if he had never made me question if my existence in his life was just another toy for him to mess with and eventually throw away.

I push Minho's hand down and take a step away. I deserve better than him. I've managed to survive the hell he created to make me and my emotions suffer in. I've made my choice.

"Minho, we need to break up."