Hope for the Worst || Minsung

Fourty-Nine

After an odd conversation with Seungmin, I continue to enjoy my stress-free weekend.

Ding dong! Bing bong!

Please just be the pizza man or something.

"Jisung! One of your friends is here!" my mom calls. "Come down and greet him!"

What was unclear to you about "stress-free"? At what point in my life did I ask for this?

I don't move. I can't. I hear shuffling from downstairs and inaudible voices.

"Uh, Jisung?" I hear him from the other side of my door. "Your mom said you would be in your room. Can you please just answer me?"

I glance at my phone. There are about fifteen messages from Minho on it, all of which have gone unanswered. This should be no different.

"Go away, Minho."

"I just want to see that you're okay."

"Well, you can hear me. That should be good enough, now leave." I say through the door.

God, please just leave.

"Jisung-"

"Go."

I'm begging you, leave me alone.

"I'm sorry, but this is too important to ignore." Minho pleads.

"What's too important?"

"You."

I stand for a second, my mind and emotions are at war. I want my mind to win. I don't want to open that door.

I don't want to let him in.

"Please, Jisung?"

I sigh in defeat. Taking slow steps, I go to unlock my bedroom door. I open it and see Minho. Actually, no.

This isn't Minho.

This boy has messy hair and dark circles under his terribly swollen eyes. Everything about his state says 'I'm sorry'. It's a shame that this boy isn't human, but a cruel and undeserving monster.

I shouldn't have allowed him in. I can't handle this stress that he's giving me, just by being present.

I hate his presence.

I absolutely despise his presence. How soothing and comforting it is. How much care he has. I hate it all because it isn't the truth.

"Jisung, are you sure you're okay? You don't look very well." Minho says entering.

"I'm fine. Besides, you're just as bad." I mutter, closing the door behind him.

"Listen, I know why you broke up with me, and I just want to explain."

"What is there to explain, huh? You tore out my heart and gently put it back out in the open for you to stomp on again. I'm not just some toy for you to throw around." My words seem to have a type of impact on Minho. He keeps up despite this.

"You're right about that, but I want you to know that whatever you heard wasn't what happened." he says. I try not to show my interest in what he has to say.

Minho continues, "Look, I don't know what you think you do, but the way it actually went was Hyunjin confessed to me. I then rejected him. He was sad and Seungmin comforted him. When Hyunjin was in his temporary slump, he kept some distance from me, though. It was definitely not as much as you did."

I don't know what to say. There's a small pause before my brain finally fully processes.

"Wait- but I heard you say you liked him back." I say, confused.

"I said 'I like you too, but just as a friend.' If I had known you heard, I would have used better phrasing, but that clearly isn't the case." Minho says.

"Wait- but I saw you two kiss. What about that?" I frown. Minho gives me an odd look so I continue, "Hyunjin came up to you again after social studies and said he wanted to talk to you again. He said something and you both went quiet. I looked around the corner and see his face pressed up against yours."

"Hyunjin and I never kissed..." Minho says, trying to jog his memory. "I think I know what you're talking about, though."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't tell him I told you, but Hyunjin asked me how to come out since I already have. Of course, he wasn't going to say it out loud, so he whispered it to me. Are you sure you weren't just at a weird angle?"

"Now that you mention it, I don't remember seeing your lips touch. I guess I got caught up in the moment..." More like I was caught up in my jealousy.

"I want you to know that as bad as I may have been in the past, I would never be able to do that to you now, Jisung." Minho says.

The further explanation I get, the more terrible I feel. "I can't believe this..." I say. "I put everyone through hell just because of my ignorance."

"Hey, it's okay." Minho runs his hand through my hair. "You know now and everything's better, right?" Minho lifts my head up to face him. I give a slight nod whilst failing to hold in my tears.

"I'm so sorry, Minho." I cry.

"Just let it out, baby. You're fine." Minho says. I bury my face in his chest and he holds me tightly. I never want him to let me go.

My cries turn to hiccups and Minho lowers himself towards my face. He softly kisses each tear away, calming me down easily. I stare into his deep brown eyes, the abyss luring me in.

"Han Jisung?"

"Yes?"

"May you take me back and be my boyfriend?"

I smile and nod. Minho's loving stare leads me into him, our lips pressing together in the most beautiful way.

"I love you." I say between the kiss.

"I love you too."

Minho and I stay attached to each other's lips, passion flowing through our veins and pumping through our hearts.

"Do you- oh my God."

"What?" Minho says, pulling himself away from me.

I stare unsure of my next action. No movement, as even the slightest inch could affect everything. My heart is still racing, but it can only increase.

He's beautiful.

He isn't perfect, but that's what makes him so.

He's mine.

But she never knew about him.

"J-Jisung?" my mom stutters. "I wanted to know if you wanted pizza."

"Mom, I can explain-"

"No, it's fine. Do what you must, but I want to talk later."

"Mom-"

"You heard what I said." She leaves the room, closing the door behind her.

I've been scared many times before in my life, but this?

This is terrifying.