Fourty-Five

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"Hey, Jisungie."

"Hi, Minho."

"Want to play together?"

It's recess time. I nod.

"What game?"

"Hide and seek."

"Okay. You hide, I'll seek."

I nod again. Behind a tree is my choice of hiding spot. Among the other kids, he can be heard counting.

"Ready or not..."

I wait. I wait. Nothing. Not yet. I keep waiting.

...

Not yet. I wait.

...

Nothing.

...

Not yet...

...

Not ever.

...

He will never. He's gone.

I don't want him anymore.

Who would want a toy that doesn't work, right?

I have better friends to play with.

A toy that's broken.

I hate him. He doesn't know.

But I do.

He doesn't deserve happiness.

Stop. I can hear you.

He's worthless.

...

He should just die already.

He was with his other friends. His better friends. He runs towards me as if otherwise.

"I found you!"

Recess is finished, but I don't want to leave. I don't want time to pass. It will only become worse.

I pull his arm. We need to get inside.

"But..."

"If we don't go, there will be a thunderstorm." I continue to pull him. We're almost at the door. Almost there.

"But I wanna stay out here."

"C'mon, Jisung."


"But-"

"No, Jisung, you need to get up." my mom says while shaking my arm to wake me up.

"Okay, fine." I say. She presses a kiss on my forehead and leaves the room. I listen to my mom's footsteps as she walks down the stairs.

When the sound is too far to further observe, my eyes start watering up. I'm not sure why, but they do. It's not tears that are coming out though, it's just... water. I think.

I run through my morning routine and meet Felix at my front door. Him and I walk to Changbin's car and drives the three of us to school.

Math class moves by with ease. Shockingly, though, what doesn't is foreign language class.

I walk in and sit down, trying to look as tired as possible. If Minho walks up to talk to me, I'll just act like I'm too tired to talk. I'm sure that'll work.

"Um, Jisung?" a voice asks from behind me. I turn around to face the voice and see Jeongin standing in front of me.

Immediately, I sit up and act casual. If he saw my fake tired, he would start freaking out and try to convince me to get more sleep.

"Oh my animal crackers, are you okay? You looked like you haven't slept in days!" Life just hasn't been on my side recently.

Jeongin continues, "Don't sleep in school, but after you finish your homework, I want you to go to bed the second you get home."

I roll my eyes at his excessiveness. "You sound like my mother."

"Well, your mother's right." Jeongin says, slightly hurting my dignity. "You don't look very good."

"Ouch."

"That's not what I meant! What I'm saying is that this isn't good for you."

"What isn't good?" Minho appears out of nowhere. His eyes land on me and become filled with sorrow. I turn away again, not wanting to see him. If Minho's so sorrowful, he should go complain to Hyunjin.

He's not mine anymore.

"Jisung looks unhealthily tired. I'm just concerned about him!"

"Wait." I hear Minho say. "Jisung, may you please look at me? Just for one second?"

I send him a quick glare and quickly hide my face after.

"Jisung, you really do look exhausted. Please, can-"

"Everyone sit! Class is beginning." Mr. Tuan says. Thank Jeongin's animal crackers for the timing. I at least learned that my plan was useless.

I only need to survive two more class periods and the rest of the school year. Then, I can finally go to the sparkling summer pools and drown myself in them.

If Minho has so many people he's dating, I'm sure he won't notice me gone. Even if he did, I doubt he would've cared.

Few do, so what's different?




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(A/N: There's only a handful of chapters left. I hope you're all ready, because I know I'm not.

If you like Hope for the Worst, then please, feel free to check out my new book, Exception. It's a Changlix fanfiction with a couple of chapters already published. It would greatly appreciated if you read supported it. Thank you!)

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