Smile For Me

Chapter 1 - How It Started

I lived in England in a small, quiet village. It was grey. It was cloudy. It was boring. I leaned against the brick wall and watched as boys would do 'parkour' in the courtyard, girls just sat on benches, their faces in their phones. I sighed a little, I didn't want to look like the rest of them and seem attached to technology, but I felt a little jealous all the same. My parents won't let me have a phone. They sound very elderly when they insist it 'rots your brain'. I kicked a few stones out of boredom but my friend Breah snapped me out of my daze. "Janie,"she said. "What do you wanna do?"

'Janie' isn't my real name, it's just Jane. I didn't like it much at a young age and still don't now, it sounds so plain and dull, and it's the first name you come up with when thinking of a girl. My dad started calling me Janie as a toddler, my mum did too whenever she was in a good mood. I liked the sound of it better so I'd only ever respond if they called me that. Eventually teachers and classmates began calling me by that name too, and I liked that.

I shrugged a little at her question, my eyes still locked on the ground as I shuffled my foot around. I didn't fancy running around the courtyard, I'm sixteen now so I'll just look foolish. It's only okay when you do it as a child and unlike the boys, I'd prefer not to get muddy. Breah didn't have a phone yet either, she explained that her mum will only allow her one on her next birthday, which is still months away. We usually read during break times, but it was drizzling slightly so I was fearful of the pages getting soaked. I looked up at the sky, longing for something to happen other than rain. I was starting to dread winter now, it only made things look more depressing. I miss clear blue skies and flowers in bloom. The only good thing about winter were the Christmas holidays and the slight chance of snow, but it's January now, nothing to look forward to and unfortunately no signs of snow to come.

Breah and I both sighed in relief as the bell rung, signalling us to return to class. I didn't like lessons, I was just tired of standing in the corner of the playground doing nothing but daydream. I found myself still daydreaming in class anyway, I couldn't concentrate on anything today for some reason. I caught Breah 'daydreaming' in the direction of a boy she liked making me sigh, I noticed the pattern a while ago now, she has a new crush every week. I didn't understand her longing for boys, she seemed desperate for a relationship. Although, I have started staring at a boy in our class, Calum. He has dirty blonde hair which I admired with bright blue eyes, even bluer than mine. Although he was shy he often cracked jokes, and although he was funny he was also mature. It felt like he was the only sensible and interesting guy in school.

I shook off the thought of ever getting with him, he's too busy to have that kind of relationship, I know how hard he studies. Although, he has smiled my way several times and has tried talking to me in the past, but I'm terrible at conversations. I always mess up, and I messed up a possible relationship with him, or friendship at least. I sighed with disappointment and took my attention to the window, just watching raindrops plop down every few seconds.

When it was time to go home Breah and I walked incredibly slowly despite it still raining. "Can I hang at your house?"Breah asked me. "My dad confiscated my computer so I have nothing to do." I rolled my eyes a little, not surprised, but managed to giggle with her. Breah was a good person but sometimes she never knows when to stop, she gets in trouble a lot. "Uh, I guess my mum won't mind,"I answered. Our walk to my house was relatively quiet, but she'd try to make jokes or talk about drama every now and then to lighten the mood. I wasn't a very good conversation starter, but I did want to try harder. I was just new to this, I didn't really have a best friend before Breah, and she only moved here last year. I was happy and grateful she picked me.

I noticed once we reached my house that there was no car parked outside, mum must be out. "Looks like we have the house to ourselves,"I said, lifting the plant pot to find the spare key. Breah had already turned the door knob and found it opened which confused me. My dad doesn't come back until late because of his work, and my mum won't go anywhere without her car. Breah had a puzzled look on her face too. As I stepped inside, hesitantly, I felt my heart start thumping a little, suddenly a bit anxious. I always thought of the worst, was there an intruder? I shook my head a little, mum must have just forgotten to lock the door before she left the house.