Smile For Me

Chapter 12 - Expectancy

I slept in today, last night turned from the worst to one of the best, I felt well rested and warm, the perfect temperature. When I finally opened and rubbed my eyes, I found Eddie's arm draping over me, hugging me, I remember him doing this last night of course but it's only bothering me now. Eddie was sleeping in too for some reason, he was still asleep, a small peaceful smile on his face. It annoyed me that he had a beautiful face.

I thought of my family and friends again, just imagining how worried they'd be. I longed to just hug mum and dad again, and to apologise for all the bad little things I'd done, and I wished I could just have fun with Breah like we used to. But I couldn't hug them, my captor was hugging me instead, and I'd probably never have a normal life again. I then wondered what my classmates would be thinking. I wouldn't call them my 'friends', not all of them have been the nicest to me, but each of them had been my friend once, I've known most of them since primary. I then realised, Calum was the last person other than Eddie that I have spoken to, and that was nearly a week ago now. I'm not a social person but even that's a very long time for me. I wonder what he'd be thinking right now. He gave me his phone number but I couldn't find it in my pockets the first night Eddie took me, and my coat was confiscated. I felt guilty as I thought of all those times Eddie has kissed my cheek, Calum was basically asking for a date but now another boy is claiming me instead, and I have to go along with it.

I slid away from Eddie's arm but made it seem natural to not upset him, he finally woke and watched me as I sat up straight and rubbed my eyes again. I eventually mumbled gently,"Don't you have work Eddie?" He smiled at me. "No, another guy takes over for me on Saturdays,"he said. I looked down. "Oh,"I said. Eddie smiled again then reached his hand to my belly, rubbing it slowly like last night. "Does it still hurt?"he asked. My body stiffened from where he was touching me, I moved away quickly,"Oh no, I'm fine now." Eddie pulled his hand away reluctantly while observing my face. I hopped off the bed and lied,"I need the toilet." He hopped out of bed too then patted my head before walking towards the door. "I'll make a start on breakfast then Janie,"he said. I nodded, already knowing the routine now. My eyes stung a little, because it seemed I was already getting used to this.

After he closed and locked the door I forced myself to go anyway, he's the one who empties the bucket. I used the second bucket to scrub my face clean and brush my teeth, I sighed sadly as I returned to my bed, waiting for another day of the same thing. I've already read nearly all my books, there wasn't much else I could do. I wished I could go outside, it's still winter but I didn't mind that anymore, I wanted to at least feel the breeze again. My face crumpled up when I remembered complaining about nearly everything just a week ago, I should have been more grateful. And I should have been more careful. I fell right into Eddie's trap. Apart from the kidnapping, he hasn't done anything awful to me yet. I still didn't quite understand why I was here, if he loved me then why couldn't he just admit that normally? These questions hurt my head.

Eddie produced a bowl of cereal when he returned, it was Multigrain Shapes - a favourite of mine from when I was a child, I haven't had it in years. I remember after mum used to pour me a bowl full of it I'd turn the orange box around to read the back while I ate, it usually had fun little puzzles like a wordsearch. I munched on my cereal happily enough, the same wonderful taste from my childhood coming back to me. As I was drinking my orange juice Eddie stood up, it looked like he had an idea. "I know what we can do today,"he said. He left the room with that and took around ten minutes to get back, I raised my eyebrow with curiosity.

I watched in awe when Eddie dragged a small table and TV into my room, mum never would have let me have my own TV in my bedroom. After Eddie plugged some wires in the wall he handed me a bunch of films, letting me choose what to watch. I felt quite excited without realising at first, finally some entertainment. I pointed to a film I've never seen before, deciding to try something new. Eddie laughed. "That's one of my favourite films,"he said. I guess I'll soon find out why. Before we made a start on watching it, I opened my wardrobe to change first with Eddie leaving for my privacy.

I was for once in a good mood, despite not feeling that way this morning. I kept getting mood swings. I picked off the white flower dress from its rack then whipped off my purple pyjamas and slipped the dress over my head, its silkiness felt lovely against my skin. I held the hem and did a little curtsy in the mirror, then I put on some short white laced socks to match, I brushed out my hair for the finishing touch. I smiled at my reflection in the oval mirror, I felt quite pretty for the first time.

When I let Eddie come back in, a bright smile took over his face, his eyes twinkling at me. He walked over to me,"Janie, you look like a little princess." I giggled a bit anxiously as he lifted me up by the armpits and spun me around once in his strong arms, he chuckled too as he set me down. I didn't expect the next part. He closed his eyes and quickly pecked my lips softly. I froze, unsure of how to react. He observed my face, still holding my forearms. "Are you okay Janie?"Eddie asked in a whisper. I smiled nervously and said shakily,"Y-Yeah." He smiled and kissed my forehead then guided me back to the bed to watch the film.

I sat beside him and propped myself up against some pillows, hoping he wasn't expecting me to lean against him, but as soon as he pressed the play button on the remote he shifted me onto his lap. I felt myself blush but feel disgusted at the same time, his actions are more bold now, as if he's expecting me to let him do whatever now. He held me in place by wrapping his arms round my front like a hug, a chill would go down my spine every time he'd pat/stroke my arm or rest his chin on my shoulder.

I knew why it was his favourite film, it was a romance. There were several scenes of kissing, and with each one I knew Eddie was staring at me hopefully. I felt a little uncomfortable when the film got to a more intimate part, the male protagonist pulled down his girlfriend's skirt making me blush darkly. I looked down to see my dress was exposing too much of my legs, I quickly pulled the hem of it down so it was touching my knees again, I caught Eddie staring which made him blush too. I felt embarrassed but just focused on the TV, trying to forget where Eddie was holding me and trying to not shiver from the warm feeling of his breath on my shoulder. Fortunately he didn't try anything, I was relieved once the film ended, it was a good one but I didn't feel comfortable from those particular scenes with Eddie around. Eddie was still hugging me, he squeezed me gently and asked,"Which film now?"

I chose one that I was familiar with, then he let me choose the next, and the next, it was a big movie marathon. He occasionally left the room to use the toilet or bring us some snacks and drinks, he didn't eat much of it himself but made sure I did. "You don't eat nearly enough Janie,"Eddie said, shaking his head. I frowned as I looked down at my skinny arms. "Didn't your mother feed you enough? She always seemed responsible when I came to visit." I felt I was near tears from the mention of my mum, but I stayed strong. "She did, I just wouldn't finish my meals, I got sick of the same thing,"I admitted. I didn't think mum was a bad parent at all, she just didn't realise she had to change things up a bit. Eddie held my waist with one hand and used the other to pick out a Haribo from the sharing bowl, he chose the heart-shaped one. When he poked it against my lips he said,"Tell me if you're ever getting bored of the same meals, I don't want you starving yourself." He popped the Haribo in my mouth then kissed my cheek, I chewed the sweet in silence.

* * *
I had more cramps again in the evening but thankfully it disappeared right before 'bedtime'. After Eddie read me a story and tucked me in, he looked rather concerned and asked,"Are you still hurting? I can sleep with you again if you want." I turned down his offer almost immediately, but said it as nicely as possible. "Oh, it's okay I'm feeling better now,"I gabbled. He nodded to that then leaned down to kiss my cheek softly before switching off the lamp light and leaving the room through the dark. I nestled down under the covers, pulling the blanket right over my shoulders, it felt colder than usual. I longed for the warmth of another person, but I didn't want that to be Eddie. This was stupid, what I'm doing. I'm doing literally nothing every day now, just letting Eddie pamper me, while my family must be worried sick. I wondered how many more days he'd steal away from me.