Smile For Me

Chapter 51 - A Basket Of Love

I was getting used to Eddie's kinks, from the dresses, to the handcuffs, to the pacifiers, and sometimes, if I was in the mood, I would actually enjoy it. Some days like last Tuesday I'd hold back my tears and cry inside, and some days I'd arch my back in delight and beg for more. The routine was always the same the morning after we had sex, I'd head to the kitchen, Eddie would kiss my forehead and tell me how proud he was, he'd hand me the birth control pills and then fix me a special breakfast. I wasn't in the mood for anything today though. It was Friday, only one more day until the weekend again, but I couldn't relax all day. I was squirming uncomfortably in my seat all morning and I got annoyed at every small thing in the afternoon. I was secretly irritated with all the boys on our table at lunch, even Calum annoyed me when he simply asked me how I was and tried to have a chat with me. I didn't lose my patience with anyone though, and Louise didn't seem to notice my bad mood, or she was just being tactful and didn't point it out.

I realised what it was when I got home. I used the bathroom and found my period had started, it had come back. I missed a couple months of it since I starved myself, and I forgot how awful the cramps and mood swings were. The last time I used the pill was about a week ago, I wasn't sure if this is supposed to happen. I worried. When I shyly told Eddie about it he explained that you can still bleed while on the pill, it's a side effect. He gave me the right toiletries and told me he was going to make a special drink for me. When I finished up in the bathroom I found he had made some chamomile tea for me and poured it in my baby bottle. I didn't like tea much, but he said it might help reduce the cramps, so I drank all of it slowly as I curled up next to him on the sofa. It wasn't that cold, but he put a blanket over me and a heating pad on my belly to help the pain. Eddie wrapped an arm around me and rubbed my tummy,"Does that feel better baby?" I was a bit annoyed from his tone, but it was helping, so I nodded gratefully.

We had our usual movie night like every Friday, it was the only time Eddie didn't send me to bed so early. I couldn't stay awake for long anyway because I was so used to the routine now, so he kissed my cheek whenever I dozed off and carried me to bed.

* * *
Eddie had to go to work on Saturday morning, but he promised something special for the afternoon. "You might want to wear your floral dress again, and maybe look for two baskets in the cupboard.."he smiled mysteriously at the end of his sentence. I realised then that he was going to take me to the strawberry fields, he promised me last week that we'd go. I forced a smile back, even though I've wanted to do this for ages, I just didn't feel up to anything anymore. But I never wanted to turn down a chance to go outside, so I didn't refuse.

I was glad I went in the end, because I actually enjoyed it. Eddie came home at lunch time and we had something quick to eat together, he told me he stopped by at my parent's house on the drive home. He happily waved a scrap of paper at me and so I squinted my eyes to read it, it was mum's strawberry pie recipe. "I guess it won't be quite the same, but we'll bake it together, so it'll taste even more special than your mother's pies,"he said. Even though I was full and usually had a loss of appetite, I was looking forward to this. I licked my lips at the thought, I've missed her pies, the golden brown pastry, the sweet smell when you open the oven, and the whipped cream to balance out the flavour. It was sunny again like last weekend, so Eddie didn't bundle me up in a jacket and coat and wooly hats and gloves, I just wore my dress again, the hem of it flowing behind me freely. We set off hand in hand, taking the same paths we did a week ago. At first I was still a bit dispirited, I kept frowning whenever I thought of Breah, what she said and how we left things off, but I felt my real smile coming back as we walked through the village again.

The countryside looked even lovelier than last week, every flower was now blooming brightly and bees and butterflies flew everywhere, carefree. We had to stop walking when a white butterfly flew right in my face and kept following me everywhere, making it comical. "You know white butterflies are a sign of good news,"Eddie said, grinning. I grinned back, but I wasn't sure I believed that kind of stuff. I felt the exact opposite was coming my way. I tried to push those thoughts aside and stared longingly at the butterfly, hoping maybe it really will bring me good. The butterfly actually stopped to sit on my nose, I beamed and giggled at that and Eddie laughed. It stayed long enough so he could take a picture with his phone. "See, you're like a real princess Janie,"Eddie said kindly. I blushed a bit from that. I didn't usually like getting spoiled, but I was getting used to being treated as a 'princess' now. I hoped I wouldn't turn out bratty. I hoped that wasn't what Breah was talking about.