Smile For Me

Special Chapter: Our Beginning

'There cannot be love without trust and there cannot be trust unless we take the responsibility to act in a way that people can trust us.'
~Radhanath Swami

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In another timeline
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It was November, but surprisingly a very sunny day. It was actually warm outside, no need for a coat, and I knew this would be the last hot day of the year. I took mummy's hand then we left the house with a spring in our step, her floral dress flowing elegantly about her ankles. "Where are we going mummy?"I asked. I had a quick guess and bounced. "We going to see auntie Maura?" I asked that with doubt, but surprisingly Mummy looked down at me and smiled warmly. She nodded,"Yes dear." I smiled back excitedly as she squeezed my hand, we haven't been there in forever now, and I wasn't exactly sure why. I loved our little visits there, it was like a second home to me. Auntie Maura was a little more strict than mummy, but just as lovely, and she always made a spread of her homemade snacks when we visited. I licked my lips at the thought of her cookies and flapjack bars. I quite liked uncle James too, he lets me play with his old football in the garden and sometimes joins me, letting me win when I was trying so hard.

Mummy talked more firmly as we walked there. "Now Ed, I already know you're a good boy, the best boy"- she pinched my cheek making me laugh -"But you have to be extra good and sensible today, auntie Maura won't be feeling her old self just yet, we must help her if she needs anything." I frowned then. "Oh no, is she sick mummy?"I asked sadly.
"No no, she'll just be feeling quite tired today, I expect she'd want a nap as soon as we get there,"mummy explained. I thought hard for a moment. "Did she go to bed on time? Sometimes I get very tired when I don't sleep early,"I mumbled. Mummy laughed at that and ruffled my brown locks. "I expect she hasn't slept for days actually, so maybe we should use our indoor voices?" I nodded enthusiastically to that, though I still didn't fully understand what was going on. I think mummy wanted to keep it a surprise, but she could see I was just bursting to know what was happening. Perhaps she didn't want me too excited in the house, because she then told me the secret. She squeezed my hand again and said,"Auntie Maura and uncle James have had a baby, Ed."

I didn't quite believe her words at first. Mummy laughed again at the shocked expression on my face, and for a moment she thought I'd be jealous since I wasn't really the baby anymore. But, I was actually thrilled instead. I didn't have any siblings to play with, and I didn't really have any friends at school, so this was great. "Is it a boy? Did auntie have a boy too?"I asked eagerly. I was already picturing the future, I could teach him how to play football, and even though I'd be much better by then, I'd let him win if he was trying hard. But Mummy shook her head as we crossed the road. "It's a little girl, so you'll have to be extra careful with her, Ed,"mummy said quietly. I was quite surprised it wasn't a boy. I thought long about it as we kept walking. I guess I'd have to let her win every match in football, and I'd have to kick the ball more gently for her. Maybe she wouldn't even like football, none of the girls in my class liked it. None of the girls played anything with me anyway, they didn't like talking to the boys. I was worried that this baby would grow to be like that, to hate me. I still wanted to visit auntie Maura every week, but I wouldn't want to if there was a girl who sticks a note on every door saying 'no boys allowed', a girl who would tease and try to push me around. I wouldn't be able to do anything back, and everyone knows you can't hit a girl. I sucked my thumb a bit anxiously the rest of the walk there.

But I had worried for no reason. When we reached their house uncle James answered the door, smiling but putting a finger to his lips to say we needed to be quiet. I held my breath when he led us to the sitting room, squeezing mummy's hand hard. Auntie Maura was curled up on the sofa with a blanket over her, she looked exhausted but she was smiling down at something. There was something wrapped up in an even smaller blanket, which Maura was cradling fondly. My mouth opened slightly when I realised it was the baby. Mummy had a proper look at her first, cooing and making 'awe' noises over the baby, probably wishing I was that small again or hoping to have another. I hung back a little shyly for a while, feeling a bit left out too. Auntie Maura smiled when she looked over at me. "Would you like to hold her first Ed?"she asked nicely. Even though I was nervous, I knew I secretly wanted a turn holding her. I nodded quickly and removed my thumb from my mouth.