Smile For Me

Chapter 29 - His Jealousy

When I awoke the next morning I found Eddie wasn't in bed, he must be making breakfast. I stretched out for a second before trying to sit up, but I found my head then started spinning. I covered my mouth a little, it felt like I was going to gag. What's wrong with me? I reached over to the bedside table to get the glass of water that was left there, but I had difficulty picking it up. My hands kept shaking and they felt funny. They felt numb, my feet did too. I had a sip of water but it spilled down my chin from me shaking too much, I groaned and put the glass back down then wiped my chin with my sleeve, I lied my head back on the pillow when I didn't feel better. I shut my eyes and exhaled heavily, I felt terrible.

Eddie then opened the door, dressed up and ready for work. "Janie, breakfast is ready,"he said cheerfully. I didn't move and just stared at him hopelessly, he frowned and walked over to me. He caressed my hair and said softly,"What's wrong baby?" I stared into his eyes and continued to breathe heavily, almost wheezing. He tutted, and I swear I saw a smug look on his face for a moment. He stroked my hair slowly, the way he was doing it didn't seem like he was trying to soothe me, it felt more like it was a way of expressing possession, petting me like I was his only. I saw him smirk again,"Looks like you're going to have to stay home then sweetie, you're sick." He said it firmly like he knew.

There was something off about everything. I didn't feel ill at all yesterday, and the way Eddie spoke confused me. He stroked my hair before kissing my forehead,"I'll go phone the school then, stay here." With that he left the room to make the call, but even though it wasn't too obvious, he seemed rather happy about it. I started thinking the worst, did he plan this? I swallowed. Did Eddie possibly...drug me again? It made sense when I thought about it more, it was clear he got jealous after what he saw yesterday, but I didn't want to believe it.

I sighed shakily then looked up at the ceiling, a single tear rolled down my cheek. I thought he had forgiven me. I thought he trusted me enough to finally let me outside without him. I admit I was dreading having to face Anna again, and I felt silly and shameful every time I thought of Calum, but I really did want to go to school today. I wiped my eyes in case Eddie came back to see me crying, I didn't want any comfort from him right now. He was smiling when he got back, this time with a tray of my breakfast. He set my food down on the bedside table and smiled brightly. "There, you'll stay home today then baby. Now no wandering off," -he kissed my cheek and his eyes flickered to where my phone was- "and no screen time, you're on complete bed rest, okay?" He even snatched up my phone and tucked it in his own pocket in case I really did try using it. He didn't want me to message any of my friends, I knew he wouldn't have minded if I played a silly game on my phone, because he didn't bother hiding the phone he bought for me. He was just jealous, and this is what I get for making him feel this way.

Eddie fed me my breakfast in bed, though I didn't feel like eating at all. I figured this would only get worse if I disobeyed him, so I let him feed me to make him happy. It wasn't much to eat anyway, just a few toast soldiers and scrambled eggs. Baby food. I was treated like a baby again too, curled up on his lap as he spooned the eggs into my mouth. It reminded me of all those days spent staying in the basement, I was treated specially then, and was beyond spoiled. Eddie hasn't had the chance to do this for a long time, but he finally has me to himself again. No parents and no friends to see this, to see him kissing my forehead, to see him cuddling me more affectionately than friendly, to see me sleeping in his own bed, and no one to realise I wasn't naturally sick, but drugged.

I was carried upstairs to the guest bedroom after I had eaten. Eddie carefully laid me down on the bed, he told me he's rang mum to let her know I was sick, she'll be here soon to watch over me while Eddie's at work. Eddie stayed with me as we waited for her to come, he smoothed my hair back and stroked it fondly as I leaned back against the pillows. I would have thrown up all my breakfast by now, but there was something about this room that soothed me. It smelled faintly of lavender up here, the colour scheme a soft beige and white. There was only one window and it was small, but it let in enough sunshine, the clear curtains moving gently from the wind. It was a very plain bedroom, the only thing giving it character was my blue flower suitcase sitting by the bed and a few of my plushies spread out on the duvet, but it was perfect for today.

Mum made a great fuss over me when she arrived, being a little concerned for my health. She felt my forehead and said quietly to Eddie,"Should she go back to the hospital, do you think? I know it seems like just a cold but she was perfectly fine yesterday and she's really burning up-"
My eyes widened. "No! No mum, it's not that bad, really,"I blurted out. I didn't want to go back to the hospital. I only stayed there a few days, but I didn't want to be reminded of when I had to starve myself. I didn't want to be reminded of all those nights I'd cry in pain as Eddie kissed my tears away. He couldn't visit me much in the hospital, and I was confused as to whether I wanted his comfort or not. I dreaded remembering those blood tests the nurses gave me and wanting Eddie to be there to hold my hand, but then again the needles only reminded me of when Eddie kidnapped me. I shook my head and started shaking. Staying here is still far better than the hospital.

Mum frowned as she stared at my flushed face and shivering body, she knew I was fearing going back there. Eddie patted mum's shoulder,"Don't worry Mrs Pargan. Tell you what, if she's still sick by tomorrow then I'll take her to the hospital myself." I couldn't tell whether this was Eddie's way of saving me from going or hinting that I wasn't to go to school again tomorrow. I couldn't read his facial expression, so that only made me worry.

When Eddie left for work I was left alone too. Mum sat downstairs by herself so I could get some rest, she'd occasionally bring me a drink or ask if I were up to having some lunch now, the answer was always no. It was a quiet day, and seemingly quiet outside too. No dogs yapping down the road, no rain pelting down on the roof, and no wind to whistle through the trees. It was perfect weather like yesterday, though this time I was forbidden to enjoy it. I couldn't even simply rest, the burning sensation on my forehead was only getting stronger, to the point where I was actually sweating beads. I don't usually sweat. I wiped my forehead and pushed the blanket off me, but then it was too cold. I sighed and pulled it back up over my lap. I stared up at the ceiling and tried a tactic that always put me to sleep. For years I'd imagine swinging a basket in one hand, my other hand clasped on to Eddie's, searching the fields with him like we did every summer. Counting sheep never worked for me, so I'd count strawberries instead. It somehow worked every time, and although I haven't tried this for a couple years, it thankfully worked.

* * *
It wasn't until four o'clock when I was starting to feel better. Eddie came back around that time but with dad too, he finished work a little early to see me. Everyone crowded around my bed to check on me, dad held my hand and tried to smile,"Feeling better now, Janie?" I sat up on my elbow and nodded. I didn't feel dizzy nor sick anymore, it was just the headache that lingered, but it wasn't as strong as earlier. They both took a wooden chair to sit by me as Eddie stood by the doorway, folding his arms. Mum asked me of all my symptoms again as dad gently squeezed my hand. They didn't find my illness too strange, but I didn't tell them everything. I kept it a secret that my hands and feet felt numb this morning, I didn't want to be taken to the doctors. I didn't want Eddie in trouble either. Mum tucked me in and kissed my forehead. "Well, you rest a little more then Janie, we're heading back home now but promise you'll call us if it gets worse, okay?"mum said. Dad kissed my head too,"Eddie will take good care of you now, just give him a shout if you need anything." Eddie smiled at that and nodded at my dad.

Dad held mum's hand reassuringly as they made their way out the bedroom. When Eddie heard their footsteps going down the stairs he smirked for a second. He walked over to me and placed his hands either side of my waist, he kissed my lips softly. "Good girl,"he whispered, his eyes gleaming. He followed after my parents to say goodbye to them, and I sat there, feeling stunned. He just praised me for not telling them everything, he's basically admitting that he drugged me. I already felt certain that he did, but really knowing it felt weird. I held my arms sadly, my lip starting to tremble as I waited for him to come back.