The Melting Pot Complex

Chapter Thirty-Nine ~ Logan

{Possible trigger warnings: swearing

If I miss something, I apologize and please let me know}

Logan was making dinner when Roman entered the kitchen and leaned on the counter.

"Logan, could I ask you something?"

He checked the recipe he was working on and gave Roman a quick glance. "I suppose."

Roman crossed his arms. "I've got a... predicament."

"Okay...."

"There's this guy."

Logan's heart jumped, then his stomach dropped.

What if Roman was talking about him?

What if he wasn't?

"Are you sure I am the best person to ask about this?" He glanced up at Roman.

"Well- so I really like him, okay? And I want to try to make a move, but I don't know how he'll react."

"I'm still not seeing why you're asking me." Logan said, trying to distance himself from the situation mentally. Roman wasn't talking about him. Patton was wrong, Roman didn't have a crush on him.

"Well he's a lot like you..." Roman said slowly.

Logan nearly cursed out loud at the jump of hope in his chest. Emotions really were the bane of his existence.

"I wanted to try a pick-up line on you, if that's okay. He's got a very similar personality and sense of humor, so if you like it then it stands to reason he will, right?"

Logan sighed inwardly, trying to ignore the sinking feeling. "I suppose."

Roman came around the side of the island and leaned next to Logan, his face slipping into a sly smirk. "You know, if you took U and I from the periodic table and put us together, we'd get 145 because U is 92, I is 53, and we got chemistry together."

Logan felt a small blush rising, but pushed it away with all his might.

"But you're clearly not just Iodine."

Roman rolled his eyes. "It was part of the joke, Calculator Watch-"

Logan held a hand up, grabbing a pen and paper from the corner of the counter. He wrote as he spoke. "You'd be a Flourine-Iodine-Neon compound, because you're..."

He displayed the paper to Roman, allowing himself a small grin. "Fine."

Roman's face went bright red and he quickly covered most of his face with his hands. "What the f*ck, Logan?" 

Logan chuckled and went back to the recipe.

"You were supposed to tell me whether or not it was good, not turn on the charm and show me up completely!" Roman whined, taking a seat at the island and hiding his face in his arms. "Oh my gooooooood."

"Well if you're going to flirt with someone you need to be prepared to be flirted with." Logan shrugged, now focusing very hard on not cutting his fingers as he sliced red peppers. His heart was pounding in his chest, Roman's flustered expression was incredibly endearing.

"Uh... Roman, you good?"

Virgil and Patton had been out most of the day, and now they walked into the kitchen.

"Nooooo." Roman groaned dramatically.

"What happened?" Patton asked, sitting next to him and beginning to gently rub his back. "Did you drop an eyeshadow palette again?"

"Logan is ruining my life."

Logan scoffed, dumping the peppers he'd finished cutting into a pot. "I simply provided a logical response to your experiment."

Virgil raised an eyebrow at him.

"He asked if he could test a... pick-up line, I believe is what it's called, to see my reaction. I replied with a different line and he became very shy and rather upset."

"Wait, so you can flirt but you can't be flirted with?" Logan saw the mischievous glint in Virgil's eyes as he turned to Roman, who was sitting up now (and still rather red).

"No!" Roman said quickly, crossing his arms. "I just- I wasn't expecting it from him."

"The great Roman Tulio, self-proclaimed 'smoothest motherf*cker alive', can't deal with a little smooth talk thrown his way!" Virgil cackled, leaning against the wall. "That's hilarious."

"I can handle it!" Roman protested indignantly.

To everyone's surprise, it was Patton who leaned in with a sly grin and asked, "so you wouldn't mind if we tried to prove you wrong then?"

Roman inched away from him and Logan hid a smile by turning away to grab something out of the cabinet.

When he turned back, their roommate had squared his shoulders. "Yeah- okay, try to break me. I can do this. I can handle a little flirting."

Patton looked over at Virgil. "You wanna go first?"

"Hey Ro, you religious?" Virgil asked.

"No-wait why?"

"Well I figured you wouldn't speak in tongues, but you sure as hell look like you kiss that way."

Roman went red. He tried to say something, but seemed unable to get the words out.

Virgil grinned and nodded to Patton.

"There's gotta be a mine around here somewhere, because you're a diamond, sweetheart." Patton rested his chin in his hand, smiling. 

"Y-you can't- that's- wh-"

"Hey Pat, you're looking a little under the weather." Virgil piped up.

"Am I?" Patton raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, your color mostly. Like you're a bit off."

Patton snickered. "I bet Roman could help with that... want to turn me on?"

Roman squeaked and covered his face with his hands, blushing so hard his ears turned red.

"Alright, you've made your point." Logan stirred their dinner, shaking his head. "Let him recover."

Patton got out of his chair, high fiving Virgil on his way over to the cabinet that carried the plates.

"You two are a terrifying tag team, might I add." Logan commented.

"I hate all of you." Roman muttered through his hands.

"What was that, Princey?" Virgil smirked, leaning in. His roommate jerked away and shoved at him.

"Leave me alooooone!"

"So what did you say to him Logan?" Patton asked, setting out a couple plates.

"Well, he started with a chemistry joke, saying we were Iodine and Uranium and we equaled 145 because we had chemistry. I countered it by pointing out that he's clearly a Flourine-Iodine-Neon compound because-"

"He's fine." Virgil held up the scrap of paper with a grin. "Good one, L."

"Thank you." Logan allowed himself a small surge of pride. "The natural appeal to subjects I prefer was helpful."

"You're like, a living computer, you shouldn't be able to do that." Roman whined.

"I would argue that being a 'living computer' would make it easier, as I would have a mental link directly to the internet."

Roman groaned and dropped his head onto his arms again.

{This book is slowly turning into me throwing all my favorite SS headcanons in a mixing bowl... this one (Roman being unable to deal with people flirting back) is from sanders-sides-thuri on tumblr

This chapter was so much fun to write lol and you can't tell me Virgil and Patton wouldn't EXCEL at pick-up lines, between the two of them they've got the whole range covered from dad jokes to downright bedroom talk}