Night Confessions

Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

My life was a joke. It was once my personal living hell. The only thing that kept me sane and going was the small amount of hope that God hadn't managed to take away from me. Hope, that one day mom would wake up, and everything would be okay. And I clung to that last shred of hope with my dear life, she was all I had left. Until I met him. This isn't the story of how a girl met her knight in shining armour and found her happily ever after. This is the story of my life.

To say my life was complicated would be a major understatement. But to the popular kids at Roseville High, I was nothing but a dull and boring nerd to them, someone who would hide out at the library and study all day long, someone who was expected to kiss the ground they walked on and worship them. Hell, I didn't even think they knew of my very existence. I couldn't blame them. In the day, that was exactly who I was, a nerd. I knew my place, followed the rules of the "nerd club", and stuck to status quo. People thought I was just a typical geek who was born naturally smart and aced everything. Well, they were wrong, big time.

My life wasn't as normal as it seemed. It was pathetic, actually. The studying, the good grades, the dressing up like a typical nerd, were merely cover ups, or should I say, to take my mind off the shit happening in my life. You know sometimes there are days when you fall into bed after a freakishly long and tiring day, and you just wished you could go into dreamland and never wake up again? Well, that was exactly how I felt every single day.

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I strolled into the school compounds of Roseville High, keeping my eyes trained to my toes. This was just a typical day in my life. I wore a baggy shirt, along with some pants, as well as my trusty old pair of black rimmed spectacles. It was a safe choice, according to nerd rules 2 and 3 -- Never wear skirts and pants that are above the knees, and also to wear spectacles. Although I didn't have a really high degree, I had to follow the spectacles-rule.

Don't judge. I'm not that boring. I don't like to do homework all day, nor am I naturally smart. I study so hard just to make my mom proud. I know she'll be proud.

There were many rules that had to be followed to be in the nerd club. I hadn't expected that, really. I just wanted to be a stereotypical nerd that studied all the time to ace my exams. I didn't even expect the school to actually have a nerd club, until one day in freshman year this girl in massive red round specs came up to me and said straight to my face, "You're a nerd, aren't you?"

I blinked, shocked. Sure, I got snickers of 'nerd' all the time, especially by the jocks and cheerleaders, but I hadn't really expected someone to just come right up to my face and call me a nerd. Believe it or not, the people here were actually human, unlike all the cliche stories where the man whores in school just toss the girls aside after having enough fun.

"Y...yeah," I had stuttered. It was hard not to be nervous with someone staring at you so intently, like they wanted to ram their fist into your face or something.

"You aren't yet," she shook her head, holding up a finger. "Not until you're in the nerd club."

And fast forward to where I am now. There aren't just five rules in the nerd club. To be exact, there were fifty-three. But the first five were the most important. If anyone ever found out you had broken one of these five rules, you would be kicked out immediately. Not like I actually cared, if not for trying to hide who I truly was.

The girl in red specs (her name's Lilia) soon became my best friend. Honestly, I'm really social inept, so the only friends I have are my best friend and my friends in the nerd club. One of the rules in the nerd club is that we had to all be friends, happy together. "Nerds must stick together," Yasmin, the nerd club president had said cheerfully. Yeah, but that's the twentieth rule so people often forgot that.

And back to where I am.

I opened my locker door. It was painted a hideous orange. All the lockers were painted orange. It was rather straining on the eyes.

"Hey Abs!" I heard Lilia's feminine voice. Soon enough, the locker door beside mine opened and Lilia stuffed her textbooks inside.

"Hey," I grinned at her, retrieving my math textbook from inside. My first period was algebra. Oh, joy. Note the sarcasm.

"Your first period's algebra? Oh, lucky you!" Lilia said wistfully. I forced a smile onto my face. Lilia really was the typical nerd. Can you actually believe that someone would actually enjoy doing math?

"Yeah, lucky me," I hoped my tone was light enough.

"Hey, I kinda need to go to the library during lunch-can you follow me?"

"Sure."

"See you there then!" Lilia waved at me and disappeared down the hallway, eager to get into class quickly. She didn't want to be late for any classes, since she didn't want any teachers to be unhappy with her.

I sighed, trudging to my first class. But before I could even put my hand on the handle and enter the classroom inconspicuously, someone from behind flung it open suddenly, shoving me roughly from behind, causing me to lose my balance and fall. I heard rowdy shouts, and immediately took my cue to shift my eyes to the ground. Ew, someone had spat pink bubblegum on the cemented floor in front of the classroom. Was it for the teacher? It seemed like an 'in' crowd thing to do.

"Hey," someone called from above. Surprised, i looked up. I was still lying flat on the ground, eyes on my sneakers, waiting for the noisy kids to go into class before I could get up (with what was left of my dignity). The speaker was a male. An actual male! Heat rushed to my cheeks and my eyes instinctively went to the ground again.

"Hey," his voice was impatient now. "Are you hurt?"

My head shot up. Was a male actually talking to me? And he actually looked kinda hot. I could tell he was a jock right away, with the lettered blue jacket that all jocks wore. I could feel my face flush a bright shade of red. Not only was I talking to a male, I was talking to a jock! Ok, I admit. I'm pathetic.

"N... No," I finally answered.

The guy stared at me. He had mussed up dirty blonde hair, and a lean body. Muscular, but not to the point where it's actually gross. And he had really nice eyes, I observed. A striking green, with little specks of darker shades. And he had a slight crooked nose-did he fight a lot?

"Then are you an idiot?" he finally snapped, breaking me out of my rambling thoughts. My eyes widened, and my cheeks got even redder, if that was even possible. I could tell some people in the class were watching us, snickering and whispering to each other. The bell hadn't rung yet, so luckily for me, not that many people were in class to observe this.

"Wh... What?" Damn it, could I please stop stuttering?

The jock rolled his eyes. "Why aren't you getting up? You're a nerd right, aren't you supposed to be pretty smart? You look real stupid now, staring at the ground and sitting on the floor."

Tears stung my eyes. I quickly gathered my books that had fallen to the ground, mustering all the remaining dignity (which wasn't much) I had left. "For the record, you were the one who pushed me down in the first place." Damn, did I just say that to one of the hottest guys at school? No, scratch that. Right now he was being an utter and complete jerk.

The corners of his lips twitched upwards slightly into a smirk. "Well, you were in the way."

Annoyed, I stood up, lifting my chin higher. "I was getting into class!"

"Whatever. At least I stopped to check on you," he rolled his eyes. Yeah, i noticed. Unlike his bunch of inconsiderate jock friends.

"Well then... thanks," I muttered, pushing the door open. Not in the nerd way. Oops, I just broke rule number forty-six. Heads turned, and I felt my cheeks heat up from the attention again.

"Hey," he called from behind.

I turned, raising both eyebrows. I've always wanted to be able to raise only one eyebrow. But it isn't something you can just learn to do. Well I guess I just looked plain stupid then.

He scratched the back of his neck uncertainly. "Um... sorry for knocking you down." Oh my gosh did he just apologise? Before I could even respond, he grinned at me and walked into class, leaving me standing stunned with my mouth hanging wide open at the doorway.