Eyes Meet

Chapter 40 - The Missing Piece

It felt amazing to be out here, surrounded by flowers and green grass floor that gave specific smell to it. Sitting here was still not as calming as sitting in the bathtub but it was close enough if I just wanted some temporary peace.

I had always loved the nature, even during school back then I would spend time at the garden just to listen to some birds and smell the scent of the wet grass if it rained that morning. It was at least less crowded than the inside of school building. Because no student would care enough to come there and appreciate the nature since they had eyesight. People with eyesight tend to take things a little for granted; admit it or not to admit.

Except for Lisa.

She used to care enough to come to the school garden, standing behind me without saying anything. All those school memories would be just memories now, nothing more than that.

I brought my head up, wandering my gaze to the sky as I didn't remember it could be so blue, so soothing to the eyes. I would need to remember things like this, putting them into my memory box just in case I would go blind again. At least I had seen the world in its upgraded version.

I decided to take a walk outside of the hospital since it had been 7 days since the eye procedure, and I was scared to get out from the building before, exposing myself to the sunlight. But I could feel something was wrong with me that I was getting more stressed and overthinking. I even got mad at dad today because of stupid reasons, and I didn't like that.

So I left my ward, taking in fresh air as it breezed against my skin with a hope that I would feel better even though I knew I wouldn't. I just had to give it a try because at this point, I would take any chance that I had, either it would work or not work just to rebuff this painful, torturing ache in my heart.

I was having the same kind of pain, similarly to the one I had when Melissa and I weren't together yet. It was killing me almost the same way in those 10 years of living alone without her because at the moment, I was back at square one, without Lisa.

She just gone missing since that day she met my dad. She didn't visit me at all. She didn't text or call me either. And I was being a 15 year old girl again, calling her for hundreds of times only to get connected to her voicemail. I even sent her countless of messages that she didn't even read.

I did everything I could think of just to locate her. I called Jongnam but he didn't respond to me too. I guessed it was Lisa who told him not to entertain me.

Was she that mad?

As I was thinking of her, I didn't realise that I was about to cry until my vision became blurry, letting me know that tears had started to seize the spaces in my eyes, and I blinked.

I knew she was disappointed with whatever happened that morning, and when I put it back into fair judgement, it was me who was being unfair to her. I bet the surprise that hit her heart was too massive, since she wasn't ready to meet, facing a man she had issues with, let alone having a discussion with him. And I put her into a stressful, heartbreaking situation without her being emotionally ready for it.

It was me who was being heartless, forcing her vulnerable, wrecked soul to face the pain that I would never understand. She was still young at that time, growing up in a situation that was so unimaginable even with my thoughtful mind. How could I do that to her?

All I was thinking of at that time was my own interest. I was being selfish to reunite Lisa and dad, with an intention to clear everything that had been going on between them in the past 10 years. But I pushed away the inner voice in me, asking if it was safe to do so, if I wouldn't risk anything by doing so. Because I had no idea what actually happened to Lisa, and I bluntly assumed that it was okay, everything would be just fine without knowing what I would get myself into.