Bts Imagines / Request Open

One of the Bts Member 'Birthday'

Warning!

Contains depressing contents. Don't read if you can't handle this kind of content!!

??? p.o.v

Today is my birthday. It suppose to be a happy day. A day where all my friend and family will congratulated me. A day where I will spend with a smile on my face. A day where I will love to spend with my love one. Eating, playing, opening presents, and more. But, it all gone. Well, maybe for now. But I don't know 'till when it will continue. I am living in sorrow. In complete disaster.

I try to forget that accident by drinking untill my body and mind can't take it, I start to starve myself so that I can know how hurt it is, I start to imagine about how cruel it is inside the room, I start to stop doing house chores, I start to stop everything which usually in the list that I need to do.

Everytime I think about the accident which involved the room, my heart ache. How I wish that accident will never happen. How I wish that day I am not having my birthday. How I wish the one and only person who can complete my life will always be on my side. How I wish that day that person will not prepare a surprised for me. How I wish everything will just go as smoothly as what the other day is. How I wish I still can see that smile. I can still breath that relaxing scent. How I wish I still can hold that soft hands. How I wish I still can that beautiful and lovely face. How I wish that I can go out to date and happily playing, running, laughing untill all of our body give up. I wish about it every hour, every minute, every second.

Now, I can only breath the air which is not the same air with the one I used to breath. I can only lay down on the bed where usually I share with my love one. Which is warm. But now, it is all cold. Even if I cover myself with a thousand of blanket, jacket, it still fell the same. Cold. It is the best word to describe the feeling. My friend always come to me and tried to drag me out of this room. They accomplished it. Sometimes. Despite what they have done, I will always come back to this cold room.

They have tried many ways to cheer me up. They bought me food, they tried to make up a joke, they tried to bring me to somewhere where we can have fun, they bring me to where it used to be my favorite place, they bring me my most favorite food, but, all of it is useless. I still comeback to this room and doze off to nowhere. I can only lay up in this fold bed. Think about the hurtful accident. Think about the past. It feels like, I am nothing. I can't walk. I can't continue with this life anymore. I am feeling smaller and smaller each day. Everyone say that it is not healthy.

Do I know it myself? Yes. I know it really well. How my love used to scold me if I skip one of the food, how my love used to teach me how to do house chores. How my love will always cheer me up when I am sad. How my love will always be a listener to all of my worry. How my love will always try the best to give me a way from the sadness. But, I can do it. I can't change my life. I feel like a trash without my one and only love.

My parents? They have given up on me. They have tried their best and now they feel tired already. Well, I don't blame then for that. I mean, everyone will give up. No matter what they have done, it will never be the same.

How I hope I will find someone who can make my life brighter than this. I hope I can find it. I am tired of living this life. But I also can't get out from this life. Can someone please help me get through this life? I want to get through this life. Please.