Shatter my heart but please don't break it

Good lord this is weird

So uhhhh
idk how to start this
but hello to everyone who read this back in 2015 and forgot they still had email notifications from wattpad.
My name is Maggy. I'm 18. I graduated high school this year in June.
From 2012-2014 (apparently I made some edits in 2015, hence the fact that the chapters all appear to have been published on the same day in 2015), I wrote the clusterfuck of a Percy Jackson fanfic that you presumably just finished reading, so here I am to tell you where I'm at now.
I am currently working as an au pair for a Dutch family at their summer home in Catalonia, and recently, the twelve year old daughter of the family mentioned that she was writing something on wattpad, and I accidentally let it slip that my old wattpad account was still out there. She then told me that she would look for it. So, Maarit, if you found it, and are reading this, I hope that you can still look and at me and see me with just a glimmer of respect, and if you cannot, I do not blame you lol.
I deleted a bunch of stories just now, but this one I just couldn't bring myself to toss away. Yes, it's a ridiculously terrible piece with a fuck ton of unintentional grammatical errors, boatloads of internalized sexism (i'M nOt liKe oTHeR gIrLs!1!!11), and a lot of just downright stupidity (I thought I was such hot shit not providing a direct translation for this one moment when Piper tells Leo in french that she loves him and then telling Jason that she thinks she loves him. like. did I think that people just didn't have google translate? or common sense? wack.), but this flaming pile of shit has 28,000 reads. Twenty eight thousand people read this. When you think about that, and i mean genuinely think about it, that's fucking insane. That's twenty eight times the population of the fucking Vatican City. And while the story and writing are absolute garbage, it reminds me of the person I was while writing this. I was still knee deep in that good ole Roman Catholic indoctrination when I wrote this, and it was the first ever fan fiction that I actually wrote. I've since moved to the AO3 platform where I write Game of Thrones fanfic (and some other stuff, occasionally) with a great deal of secrecy and humility surrounding the account and the works. And I will not be linking the account in the event that Maarit finds this and reads it all the way through so she cannot find my current stuff that I wrote with actual integrity and pride. And also because there's hella smut in most of those fics lol.
But back when I wrote this, I was so insecure and guilt ridden over things that I now take pride in (it's pretty much just my sexuality lol, i'm bi, but hated that I liked girls for the longest time lol #thxsundayschool #vaguelytraumatizedCCDgangwya) I wish I could see myself now. I'm going to major in acting at my dream school's arts conservatory program, and I was one of eighteen people who got accepted to the acting major from the 600+ who auditioned, which is fucking insane. I'm currently getting paid to live with an amazing family in fucking Catalonia, Spain in their beautiful home and I am just living my greatest life right now. I've been seeing the same therapist for six years, and I have a system in place with my support team (my family and my doctors) which I can always use to manage my depression, anxiety, and ADHD, which is a feat I could not have even imagined in middle school. I was so confused and nervous and scared by my newer mental illnesses/emotional disorders (depression and anxiety, ADHD is an og, she been here since I was in the second grade #dayones!!1!1!!1!!) that I couldn't even begin to fathom how to handle it all. I tried to handle it like it was drama with a peer and went to my other friends for help, unable to fully comprehend that they had just as much experience in that field as I did and they couldn't help me, so naturally, my insistence that they help me anyways destroyed my relationships with them and left me feeling more alone and confused than ever.

I have grown and matured so much since I wrote this fan fiction, and it's weird because I feel like in a weird way, it's a monument to who I was. So if that's what this fan fiction is, then let this chapter be a monument to who I became, and who I am still becoming.

Thx for reading, and uhhh please know that there is much better fan fiction out there and your rights as fanfic writers are more protected on AO3 as it is a nonprofit so nobody's in it for the money:)

Bye now,
Maggy