Little did I know I would sitting at Harborwalk with Parker by my side. The cold breeze strokes delicately. The other part of the city with its glowing lights says the night is still young. The young night with different faces, stories, truths, survivals, and pains. All it holds inside. The dark blue sprawled all over the ocean shines with it waves softly echoing the city. The pitch-black sky with stars but no moon. This whole scene is like a piece of music, which I want to drown more and more endlessly.
But what actually drown me was the silence. The silence between me and him. We left the charity dinner earlier under my request and drove to Harborwalk under my request too. This is my first time to be here with someone.
The bench which we were sitting on creaked as Parker moved a little adjusting his jacket. I'm glad that he never try to break the silence and patiently waiting for me to open up. Open up my heart. Open up my fears. Open up my past. When I'm done opening up, he will never be this patient. He will leave me.
" I don't know where to start actually." I avoid his eyes. My throat felt heavier. My whole body felt heavier. My hands tighten together, the nails clawing my palm. This is not easy but I need to do this. I had open up before to my girls and mother for making them understand my pain but open up to someone so that I can save them from misery like me; This is the first time. And it's hard.
"I know it's too hard for you. You don't need to do this." Parker came for my rescue but,
" I have to do this Parker," I look at him in eyes "for both our goods." The worry plastered on his beautiful face churns my stomach upside down. I forced my eyes to look over at the city instead of him. I can't stand looking up at him in this state.
"It's happened in a flash. In a blink, I lost him. We lost him." The day where my life did a somersault flashes back on my mind like it's some kind of movie scenes.
"My brother. Darmash. He was another victim of that rare disease. I still remember how small he was when I look at him for the first time as a baby. He was beautiful. The heartbeat of our small family. At first, we didn't realize he was affected by this disease but when we come to know about this we tried many ways to cure him. Every day was a war but it never felt tough or felt a burden. Even though we as a family pray, fight, search for any ways to cure him but still, we were a happy family. But we were helpless. And one day the government finally offers money to treat him and after he undergoes the treatment in weakly basis, he started to dream. He loves cars, so after the treatment and seeing some improvement on himself, he was very much believed and hope that he will be fine and can drive a racing car one day. He started to smile. He started to spread his wings. He started to hope.
We all were waiting for that day. The day he will become fully cure. But that day never comes.." My voice crooked a bit.
"What came was the day he left us. It was a perfectly normal day. We were in a parking lot of hospital after taking his weekly treatment when suddenly everything changes. When everything goes down the hill. When my brother stopped breathing." My eyes started to water up. I tentatively wiped one tear that managed to fall.
"One minute he was walking with us and then the next minute he was lying on the floor half-consciously. My father carries him and rushes back to the hospital. We three were running like mad people across the road. We don't give any damn about the cars." Tears started to flow.
" I remember we three waiting outside the room praying that he will be fine. That my baby brother will be back to me. But he never did. Even after 5 years he never back home. He left me, just like that." wiping out the tears, I smiled looking at Parker.
His face says nothing while his eyes say everything. "You know Parker, I was the top always in class. I study hard because I want to be rich so that I can treat my brother, make all his wishes come true." Our eyes still locked. "But when he left me, my whole world crush. He was the reason for my life. Meaning for my life. I was used to thinking about a future with him and me. But when he left me, I was lost. I lost the meaning of my life. I didn't know the reason for my existence. Still, I don't know. But I finish my degree and settled down here in Boston with a good job in the hope one day my baby brother will back to me and I'll get a chance to fulfill all his wishes. I'm still waiting." I smiled looking at Parker, "But I know it's never going to happen. The thing that I can't save him still haunts me down."
"I haven't moved on Parker. Every day I dream of him. I miss him, miss my happy family every day. He is everything to me always." At this point, it's getting too hard for me that my lips started to tremble. My whole body started to tremble. And I broke down.
Running away from my past, I get up from the bench and walk away from Parker. I don't want him to see the weak me. But before I could take another step away from him, Parker pulls me back into him; into my nightmare.
Parker hugged me tightly. In a way that he can fix all my broken pieces together.
His long arms wrapped around me protectively. His palms rested on the back of my head where he caresses softly. I can hear his heartbeats that thumping speedily for me. I felt safe. I felt home. Tears roll down my cheeks.
"Don't Parker.," I whispered tiredly and tried to get out of his arms, but he holds me tight and our eyes locked.
"Parker.," I whispered. "I know how hard it was for my dad to have a child-like, my brother. I saw how he suffer until now. I knew the pain very well." More tears on my face as Parker's face turns confused. "And I don't want the man I love to go through the same pain that my father went through.."
"What do you mean Bella.," Parker asked confused. His voice was hoarse.
I close my eyes, not able to see the pain in his eyes. Hereunder the stars, alongside the beach, in his arms for the last time.
"I have diagnosed as a positive carrier of that disease Parker." I open my eyes back to my nightmare. His hands around me tighten.
"What does on earth that means Bellaa.." his eyes searches into mine for answers.
I'm sorry Parker.
"It means if I had a child there's a higher chance for that child to diagnosed with the same rare disease as my brother. I'm a carrier."
YOU ARE READING
Orizon Stars
Romance" I don't know how to kiss.." I whispered and avoided his intense stares. "This is my first time.." With a groan Parker cupped my face, his forehead meets mine. His eyes were shut but mine were not. I indulge with the delicate aftershave scent and...
