Orizon Stars

Chapter 31

Except for the sound of Parker's mother weeping, the whole place was eerily quiet. Nurses and doctors walk pass me and enter the operation theatre multiple times. Chloe on my left side cries quietly. Logan was standing opposite me, eyes closed leaning on the hospital wall. Beside him, Sky stands, with his head down. Parker's father and sister Lea were holding his mother. Did you ever been in a situation, where your loved one is suffering alone but all you could do is watching them die because you have left with no choice? I have been there. The day my brother was taken into the emergency room, the 20-year-old me, sit frozen on the chair, eyes are swollen because of tears, helpless, clueless but not hopeless. But the hope shatters when I saw his lifeless body. My life ended at that moment with him. Right from that second, my cloud was ashen, my days were vacuous, my nights were lidless.

And today, somehow I got myself in the same situation. My knuckles turn reddish, as I clutch to the edge of the metal chair. My eyes were unfaltering, fixed on the hospital's white tiles. I felt nothing but void. My eyes were pleading to let out the tears but I was adamant for not letting it out. I won't cry. There's no praying or chanting. No feelings. No hope. Last time when I did, it cost all my life.

"Enemy's shot the helicopter Parker was in, and it crashed. Parker was shot too and he is harmed badly. He is in critical condition now."

Logan's voice was in a loop.

He is in critical condition.

I don't know what to think. My Parker is right there, behind the operation theatre door for the past 3 hours, fighting his battle between life and death. I closed my eyes tightly, my lips chanted "Please don't leave me, Parker. Don't leave me like my brother".

The thought of Parker struggling inside that four walls for life, makes me lose power over my body. My dilemma started to take over. I get up from where I seated and walk pass all the scrutinizing eyes towards the door that separating us. I touched the door and put my forehead on it. The tears started to fall.

"Please don't leave me." I glued myself to the door. He said he will come back. He promised. I lied when I said I have no hope. Hope is the only thing I have in my hands now. With sobbing, I slowly lower myself and before I could reach the floor everything went dark slowly. Despite the haunting darkness, I call back his smiling face before the darkness devours me in full. I fainted.

I wake up to the chilliness of water on my face. I was on the chair, that I was sitting on, surrounded by Parker's family and friends. Chloe was holding a water bottle. "Are you alright dear," Parker's mother asked, her hands comforting me. I merely nodded and said, " Ya I'm alright." The operation theatre door opened and the surgeons came out, removing their shields. Logan and Mr.Mitchell rush up to them, but I glued to my spot. Too scared to breathe. Too scared to face the truth.

Please don't die. Please don't die.

"Parker had a broken arm and leg. We had done the operation and it will be cured in 6 months of time. But.."

Parker is alive. He is alive.

I breathe heavily. My legs will give up anytime soon. "Since he had a severe injury on his head, he had a mild coma. It will take about two to three months for him to wake up but no worries. He is not in critical condition anymore."

And my legs give up. I tumble lifelessly on the chair. Parker went into a coma. Even when this is better but what I hoping him to smirks and says "I had come back" but now my Parker is in a coma.

"He is a strong man. He is in stable condition now. You all may visit him in room number 304."

******

I sit quietly on the chair, in front of room 304. All his family is inside, but I'm too scared to see him in that state. So I decided I'll see him when everyone left, and I've already filled up the formalities to take care of him as a guardian. After what it felt like ages, all his family members came outside. I stand up and forced a smile. "Take good care of my son, Bella. He needs you the most." Parker's mother Mrs. Laurel said. Her voice was hoarse. I nodded and swipe away the tears dampening my cheeks. She hugs me warmly and I controlled myself from not sobbing.

"Tomorrow I'll bring Parker's clothes. You need anything from your home?" It was from Chloe. "It's okay Chloe. I'll manage." I assured her. Slowly all of them bid goodbyes. Even Parker's brother Sky who was cold when I first met, side hug me and said " Be strong."

With trembling hands, I twist the doorknob. With a click sound, the door to my Parker opened. Eyes on the floor, I stepped into the room and closed the door. The smell of hospital and medicines hit me with a suffocating silence. I stand unmoving, hoping that Parker's voice would thunder through the silence, asking me to come forward. But nothing happened, except for the beeping sound of machines.

My whole body trembled when my eyes finally met my Parker. I hold into the close sofa, afraid my legs will give up seeing him in this state. The tears stopped falling, the wind surrounds both of us stopped, the time stopped but not our hearts. I wish mine stopped rather than seeing him in this state. There he is, lying on the bed static, wearing a blue hospital gown, the various machines connected to him. He looks so unreal.

I reached his side tardily. I stand lifelessly, eyes taking in his broken state. There was a large bandage around his head. A stain of blood spotted on the bondage. Both his right arm and leg were in the cast. His left shoulder blade was bandaged as well because that's where he was shot. Parker looked pale, almost lifeless. If it's not for the ECG monitor displaying his heartbeat, I wouldn't believe he is still alive.

Tears were uncontrollable as they keep on falling. I gathered all my courage, I move my quivering hands and cautiously touched his forehead, not touching the blood-stained area. I slowly ruffled his soft hair. Then, my hand reaches his cheeks. I close my eyes, and felt his face on my hands, affirming that he is here for real. That this is not a bad dream or one of my wild imagination. I opened back my eyes, wishing his brown eyes will look back at me, look past my walls. But it didn't.

"This is not what you promised Parker," I said, my voice trembles. He laid still. "Please wake up, Parker." I shake his shoulder gently. "You're scaring me." I stared at him, praying some sort of miracle will happen. But this is fucking life and miracle don't exist.

"Can you hear me.." I lowered myself, hold his hands tightly, and bring it to my lips. I kiss his hands. "You promised me you'll be safe." More silence. "Your Bella is here. Don't do this to me.." It's all it takes for me to completely break down.

I sobbed loudly and buried my face on his chest incapable of seeing his face. With my tears damping his chest, I listened to his heartbeat. It was beating fast. I stopped sobbing and looked at him, sleeping peacefully. "You can hear me right?" I asked and put my left hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeats. "That's why your heart beating this fast," I said and touched his forehead with mine. I hold his face, the stubble was rough on my soft palm. My tears damped his cheeks. I kissed him lightly, on his lips. My eyes were tightly closed accepting that he won't kiss me back as he does in anytime soon.

I hold his face, forehead to forehead touching, cried, panting. "Please wake up. I know I'm acting crazy but I can't see you like this Parker. It's scaring me, Parker." Seconds bypass as I savor his breathing softly touches my upper lip. Wiping my tears away from his face, I squeezed myself beside him on the bed. My hands hold his tightly, my body affixed to his side, eyes placid on him I lie beside him. He lays still, not smirking or smiling. His husky voice is nowhere to be heard. His brown eyes are hidden under his lids. I hide my face at the nape of his neck and inhale his scent. "I missed you." I softly kissed his neck. "So badly."

Three weeks before we were under the moon and stars, with me being in his hands. But tonight my Parker lying beside me shattered, broken and I don't know how to collect the broken pieces of him. All I could do now is hold onto him tightly, making sure no pieces of him left from me.

Life is unapologetically cruel.