The fiCc IDV

Sex ed with Mad eyes

-Morning in Tokyo-

Merc: -Crying-
Ripper: P-Please don't cry..! I still dont know why you're crying..! Is it me..?!
Merc: I dont know myself! Its probably because we didn't get any sleep..!
Ripper: ......OR! Maybe, hear me out!
Merc: What
Ripper: Maybe you're pregnant and just got hormonal!
Merc: ....-Smacks Ripper- I'm a dude!! Guys dont get pregnant Jack!!
Ripper: THEN WHY ARE YOU CRYING!!
Merc: I DONT KNOW!!
Ripper: We should sleep then!
Merc: I dont want to sleep in our bed before the cleaning lady has been here!!
Ripper: Why not?!
Merc: Because it's full of the Outcome of  us fucking all night!!
Ripper: Then go take a bath and we can leave for a few hours and when we come back you can sleep a little!
Merc: -Nods- Allright..! I'll take a bath..

-Phantom castle Joseph room-

-KnOcK kNoCk KnOcK-
Embalmer: -Wakes up- ...Joseph..
Joseph: ..mmn..?
Embalmer: The door..
Joseph: mhm..zzz..
Embalmer: -Sighs and stands up- I gotta do everything around here.. -Opens door-
Axe boy: Embalmer.
Embalmer: ...Axe kid. How come the only time you knock on the door, is a time we are asleep?
Prospecc: Hey Aesop.
Acrobat: Hi.
Embalmer: ...What do you two weirdos want..
Prospecc: ....Me and Mike have become the new targets for Elis abusive personality..
Embalmer: ....oh god. Come in and sit.
Prospecc: -Walks in and sits on chair-
Acrobat: -Sits next to Norton-
Axe boy: -Sits down on Josephs bed-
Joseph: Zzzz...zzz...
Embalmer: How did this happen.
Prospecc: The word betrayal triggers him.. he pulls us into his room and asks us to strip and uses violence if he's angry.
Embalmer: Good. He hasn't gone futher then that yet..
Acrobat: Yet..?
Embalmer: Just do as he says. That will make it easier for everyone.
Prospecc: Wait, Aesop..! I figured out why we can't resist what Eli says! It's the owl..! Ibis can hypnoti-
Embalmer: -Quickly Grabs Nortons shirt and Pushes him against the wall- Don't let anyone know about this. Ever..!
Acrobat: H-huh..? Aesop?
Embalmer: ....Eli raised that owl himself. They have been together for as long as I can remeber so never ever let anyone know about this!! Eli is going to be broken!!
Prospecc: Wait are you saying Eli dont even know about this..?!
Embalmer: No and he never shall! If he rapes you both then do as he says!! Just dont tell him that Ibis is evil!! If not then I will never view you as my bro anymore! Now you finally understand..! It's not Elis fault its Ibis and Breaking Elis heart is out of the option!!
Prospecc: A-Aesop I got it..! You can put me down..!
Embalmer: -Lets go of Norton and Sighs in relief- Sorry. I got a little out of hand there..
Acrobat: Aesop.. You seem to really care about your Friends! I'm so happy!!
Embalmer: Y-yeah.. they're all I have. ...and Joseph of course.
Joseph: -Just laying in bed watching Aesop while being half asleep- Mhm.. zzz.. yeah..zzz..
Axe boy: What a douchebag, wake up faggot!! -Jumps on Joseph-
Joseph: -Gets up and Grabs Robbie- What did you call me?!
Axe boy: AAAH!! I JUST CALLED YOU WHAT GRANDPA CALLS YOU!!
Joseph: Damn Burke.. people needs to watch their mouth around Robbie from now on..
Axe boy: Joseph! What is Sexual harassment?
Joseph: ....Burke!! Get in here!!
Mad eyes: -Walks in- Why are you yelling so early in the morning?!
Joseph: Take Robbie with you and explain to him what Sexual harassment is.
Mad eyes: Allright Brat, come with me! -Walks to the main room of Phantom Castle-
Axe boy: -Follows Mad eyes-
Acrobat: Soooo.. what now?
Prospecc: Aesop. Me and Mike dont want to be Targets to Eli. I think that if you and Naib want to keep this owl a secret, at least the two of you should offer yourselfs.
Embalmer: Are you saying me and Naib haven't suffered enough already..?
Joseph: Okay, that's it, Prospector, Ability thief, Get out of my room! -Pushes Norton and Mike out and Slams the door shut-
Prospecc: -Sighs- Allright. We just have to figure out a new way of how to deal with Eli.
Acrobat: What did Naib and Aesop do?
Prospecc: They became the Hunters Twinks.
Acrobat: So they just had hunter Protection, right? Then we should keep using Robbie as Protection!
Prospecc: That's not Good enough. We can't cling to Robbie all the time, he's a Child afterall. We should try finding out of a way to handle this ourselves.

-Tokyo-

Merc: -Comes out of Bath and Sighs-
Ripper: Are you feeling better?
Merc: I dont feel like going back to the manor..
Ripper: Neither do I but we dont eeally have a choise. You know what kind of Power Nightingale has.
Merc: True.
Ripper: So what did you want to do outside while er wait for the cleaning lady?
Merc: ...Let's go to a Shrine or something.
Ripper: A shrine..?
Merc: it's hard to explain, let's just go.
Ripper: -Nods and leaves with Naib-
Merc: -Drags Jack with him while looking at Map- Theres a shrine over there!
Ripper: -Follows Naib and then looks around- What do we do here?
Merc: Let's check our luck for the year! -Runs over to Luck sticks-
Ripper: How do we do that..?
Merc: You take a Box, Shake it, then a stick falls out with a Number! You then put the stick back in the box and look for a Drawer with your number on!
Ripper: ...Seems easy enough. -Picks up Box-
Merc: I got.. 28! -Opens Drawer- ...Look Jack! Good luck!!
Ripper: -Shakes box as well and Gets a Number- You know, I'm the luckiest person in the world! I got 4. -Opens Drawer- ......Terribly bad luck.. no way..
Merc: -Laughs and grabs Rippers note- Hah..!! Don't worry Jack! Tie It to the tree and it might go away! -Ties it up for Ripper-
Ripper: Pfft.. Bad luck my ass..
Merc: Calm down, it's just for fun! Let's go show our Gratitude!
Ripper: Show out 'Gratitude' ?
Merc: -Pulls Ripper with him and Gives him a Coin- we throw the Coins into a box, then we Bow Twice, then we clap Twice, then we bow once more, then make a wish and show your gratitude!
Ripper: Okay let's go it together then!
Merc: Allright, 1, 2, 3! -Throws Coin together with ripper and then does the bowing and clapping ritual to make a wish-
Ripper: ..Done! What did you wish for?
Merc: If I tell you it won't come true!
Ripper: I thought that only counted on Birthdays
Merc: It counts for all wishmaking!
Ripper: Allright I wont tell you my wish then.
Merc: I dont want to know!
Ripper: -Just Laughs as they walk back to the Hotel-

-Phantom Castle-

Mad eyes: Liten up Kid! It's time for you to learn how Life works!
Geisha: Burke, what are you doing.
Mad eyes: The brat has hit that certain Age where he is intrested in the flowers and the Bees and as His grandpa it's my job to teach him!
Geisha: I thought you always claimed that you weren't his Grandpa.
Mad eyes: Well I know Jack is my daughter and if Jacks son is The brat, then I guess that makes me Grandpa!!
Axe boy: Wait, Jack isn't my dad!
Mad eyes: I know! He's your mom. Now listen up Kid cause this is important!
Geisha: -Sighs and Sips tea- Oh boy..
Mad eyes: Now when you want to make babies, You need a Mommy and a Daddy who can have intercourse!!
Axe boy: What's intercourse!
Mad eyes: Now I know since you're young, You might Find Words like Penises and Vagina funny but I'm telling you its nothing to laugh about!!
Geisha: That's it, I'm leaving.
Mad eyes: Sit Michiko! Correct me if I say something wrong!
Axe boy: .....W-..What's penises and Vaginas..
Mad eyes: That's your Wiener and girls nonexistent Wieners!!
Axe boy: Girls dont have Wieners!?
Mad eyes: Stay on Topic!! I were going to tell you about Sexual Harassment, yes?! Well thats when you Think with your wiener! Dont Touch Girls ass without their premition! Dont touch their boobs either!! But most of all, Dont put your Wiener inside anyone unless its okay!!
Geisha: -Facepalming so hard wishing she weren't there-
Axe boy: ...Wait a minute... Sexual harassment is bad, right..?
Mad eyes: Yes! That makes you a Sexoffender!!
Axe boy: -Ghasps and Grabs his Axe Running into the Hall-
Geisha: I dont know what you have done but its definitely not good.

-Josephs Room-

Embalmer: You know that if we do it now, Axe boy will just walk in on us.
Joseph: But we broke the curse so he won't come in anymore.. ~
Embalmer: Fine.. -Kisses Joseph-
Joseph: -Kisses back and Undresses Aesop-
Embalmer: Mnnh..~ Joseph..
Wu Chang in his room: ....Its okay.. Robbie will definetly interup sooner or later..! Just.. live with the Moans for a fee more Minutes..!
Joseph: -Pushes Aesop against the wall- Maybe I should try wallfucking you..~
Embalmer: A-are you sure..?
Wu chang: -Hears a Dunk on the wall and shakes his head- No no..! I dont like this..! This is my wall..!!
Joseph: -Opens his belt and pulls out his Dicc preparing to Fuck Aesop-
Axe boy: -Breaks down the Door with his axe- JOSEEEEEPH!! YOU'RE A SEX OFFENDER!!
Joseph: -Drops Aesop down on the floor and glares at Robbie- WHY DO YOU ALWAYS COME IN AT THE WRONG TIME! LEARN HOW TO KNOCK!!
Axe boy: DONT WORRY MISTER MAKEUP! I KNOW THE SEER TOOK YOUR PANTS!! AND I ALSO KNOW UNCLE JOSEPH IS SEXUALLY HARASSING YOU!!
Embalmer: What..?
Axe boy: -Tackles Joseph- STOP PUTTING YOUR VAGINA IN THE EMBALMER!
Jospeh: MY WHAT
Embalmer: -Chokes-
Joseph: AXE BOY WHO LEARNED YOU A THIS!?
Axe boy: Grandpa!!
Jossph: Well he obviously said something wrong!!
Axe boy: SHUT UP! Dont worry mister makeup!! I will get your pants back from the seer!! -Runs out of room-
Joseph: ....God damn It!!