I pulled into the lot at the dorm and started pulling out the boxes and putting them into my room. The first box I opened was the one that I put the small box in from under my bed, I grabbed the smaller box and opened it to search for the paper. I finally found it and opened it to read what I had started years ago.
'I just wanna love ya, I just wanna love ya, it still feels like a dream, oh, baby. I just wanna love ya, I just wanna love ya, you already know, oh, baby - To be continued.'
"Wow, it's not a bad start for an eight-year-old." I said. I thought I should at least finish it since it had been a work in progress for years. But, I was too tired to start. So, I just got into bed and went fastly to sleep. A while later, "Don't die..please..." I woke up all sweaty and teary-eyed again. I just kept re-seeing my parents dying over and over again. I could feel my heart racing as my breathing was rapid since I had seen the scene over four times. I got off of my bed and snuck down the hallway. "Jungkook..." I said in a low voice as I knocked on the door, but no answer. "J-Jungkook, please wake up..." I said as the image of my now-dead parents came into my head, making my voice shake and tears come into my eyes again. I put my ear to the door and heard him moving, so I knocked once more and called for him, "Jungkook, please open the door..." I said, still no answer, I could still just hear moving. I knocked once more, but louder, "Jungkook Op-pa, please open the d-door..." I said as a sob came along when I finished my sentence, then I heard the doorknob rattling from the other side so I backed up, and watched it open.
"Y/N, what's wrong?" he asked as he saw that I had been crying,
"I c-can't stop seeing them d-die, J-Jungkook Oppa..." I sobbed. He quickly pulled me inside and closed his door. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly as I cried against his shirt.
"Shh...Calm down, it's alright. Don't cry." he hushed me.
"Every time I saw them d-die, it just got w-worse..." I said, he just gently rubbed my back and comforted me. That's when my forearm started throbbing, I knew what that meant, even though I hadn't had it throb for my attention in years.
"Y/N, why is your arm throbbing? Even I can feel it." he asked as he looked at me.
"I-It does that sometimes when I c-cry." I said, obviously lying to him. But, the only way for it to stop was to cut. And if I were to cut in front of Jungkook, he'd probably think I was a psycho. So, I just did what I knew he would never get suspicious of, "J-Jungkook, can I use your bathr-room?" I asked as I sobbed due to the pain in my arm because it was pulsing so much,
"Sure, of course, you can." he said. He pointed in the direction of his bathroom and I walked inside and locked the door behind me. I pulled out my blade that I had put it in my pocket when I went to get my old stuff from my parents' house. I raised my sleeve and started cutting. Since I didn't cut for a while, I let out a little whimper. I was in there for a couple of minutes so I was able to make about two and a half cuts and managed to clean off the blood on the blade. I pulled down my sleeve again and put my blade back in my pocket. I crossed my fingers and hoped that the blood wouldn't run down my arm and past my sleeve. I flushed his toilet to act like I was 'using the bathroom' and walked to the door. I unlocked it, and when I opened it, I saw Jungkook sitting on his bed and he had his face covered with his hands. And it sounded like he was...crying.
"Jungkook, are you crying?" I asked quietly, he quickly stood up and turned away, and even though his back was facing me I could see him wiping his face.
"N-No. I'm not crying, why w-would I be crying?" he said in a shaky voice. I could tell he was lying by the way his voice sounded.
"Jungkook, why are you crying?" I asked as I came up behind him,
"I said I'm not crying." he said, I quickly turned him around to face me and I could tell by how red his eyes were that he had been crying.
"You're crying. Tell me why you're crying, you can tell me anything." I told him, he shook his head. "Please, Jungkook Oppa?" I asked with a pouty lip. He sighed and sniffled a little before giving into me.
(844 Words)
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I'm Fine... || BTS x (Female) Depressed/Suicidal Reader (TBC)
Fanfiction⚠️Warning: Includes swearing, domestic violence, child abuse, rape, self-harm, smut, etc⚠️ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ Y/N, an eighteen-year-old woman who had just become a runaway from finally escaping her abusive parents. Once she had been w...
