I'm Fine... || BTS x (Female) Depressed/Suicidal Reader (TBC)

Floor It or Forget It (CVII) ⚠️Brief Self-harm⚠️ ⚠️Semi-Smut⚠️

March 9th, 2015
(Three Months and Five Days After My Disappearance)

    I was laying against the headboard of the bed, trying to stay conscious but kept falling asleep while Nick was doing something in the fridge. It looked like he was looking for something to eat but he couldn't find anything so he looked in all the cabinets but was still left with nothing. He let out a loud growl and slammed the cabinet doors shut.

    "Sugar lips, put some clothes on. We need to head to the store cause I'm out of food and beer, and I need new boxers." I groaned quietly and got out of bed, being hit in the face with my shirt and pants. I slipped them on and he grabbed my arm, yanking me out of the room and locked the door. He led me downstairs and outside the building, basically throwing me into his car once he unlocked it and opened the back door.

*~Namjoon's POV~*

    Hobi-hyung and I were sitting on the couch playing StarCraft while Yoongi-hyung was asleep on the armchair, Tae was in the bathroom, Jimin was watching a movie on his phone, Jin-hyung was practicing his dancing while he was in the kitchen getting us something to drink, and Jungkook... he was still locked up in his bedroom. I heard Jin-hyung groan in annoyance as he walked back into the living room,

    "Guys, we are out of basically everything. I need to head out to the store and grab a few things, would any of you like to come with me?" we all nodded, and just as we did, Hobi-hyung and I lost our game. We woke Yoongi-hyung up and told him we were going to the store and we let Tae know when he came back from the bathroom, just as we were about to leave Tae spoke up,

    "Hey, what about Jungkook? He's been locked in his room ever since Y/N disappeared and has only been outside at least four or five times in three months. I think he should come with us." all of us looked at each other and we all agreed with what he said. We made our way up the stairs and to his bedroom door, I was able to pick the lock and quietly open the door. We all snuck inside and pulled the covers off of him but he was latched onto his body pillow like an anaconda trying to constrict its prey. All of us tried to gently unhook him from his pillow without waking him up but that didn't work, I saw one of his eyes open and he tried to hit us but we avoided his attempts and grabbed his arms and legs to restrict his ability to move.

    "Come on, Kook. You've been in your room for almost three months straight and you're going to the store with us whether you like it or not." I spoke, trying to keep his legs under control so his struggles to kick me wouldn't work while Jin-hyung held his wrists so he couldn't punch any of us either. It was difficult for us to get down the stairs with him thrashing around so much. He would growl at us and try to kick or punch us, then he would squirm around while he started to sob and whine. And the process just repeated as we all struggled to get him inside the van without one of us getting a black eye or a kick in the guts. After about fifteen or twenty minutes of us trying to get him into the van, we were finally able to get him inside, giving him his notepad and pencil for when he wanted to talk. Just as we were about to drive off, I stopped Jin-hyung from going into drive. I whispered something to him and texted Jimin quickly, seeing him nod from his reflection in the rearview mirror. He got out of the back so we could switch places, he in the front with Jin-hyung, and that allowed me to get in the back with Jungkook so I could try to talk to him, that is me using my words and him using pencil and paper. "Jungkook, talk to me. Why have you isolated yourself from us?" I asked him, he grabbed his pencil and started writing, "'I don't wanna talk about it.' Kook, come on, I want to know why you've stopped talking to us, actually why you've stopped talking period." he took a second before he started writing again, "'I'm afraid that if I talk, I'll start crying...' So? You can cry if you need to, Jungkook. I cry, Yoongi-hyung cries, Tae cries, even Y/N cries. If we can, so can you." I heard him choke on a sob when I mentioned Y/N's name and he turned his face away from me. He took a few deep breaths in and out before he started writing yet again, though this was a tad bit longer, "'I know I can cry if I have to, but I want to show that I'm strong and I'm scared that if I speak a word I'll lose it all and flood wherever we are because of how many tears I build up when I'm not speaking.' Kook, I understand. But it's not healthy to not speak and lock yourself in your room all day, pushing yourself away from what you love can just make you feel worse. That's why we decided that you come to the store with us, so you can get out and see daylight again, and also get you away from that body pillow, it was starting to flatten." he nodded slightly, then he started writing again, "'What did you feel when we realized Y/N was missing?' Well, I felt a lot of things, much like you were and are feeling now. Obviously not to such an extreme but pretty close. Why do you ask?" I questioned, he thought for a second and scratched his head and he wrote again, "'I guess I wanted to see if how I was handling her disappearance was normal or if I was overreacting.' No, no, you're not overreacting. It's normal to feel upset when someone close to you disappears out of nowhere. I mean, you and her got along amazingly well and you were both very close so it's normal to feel how you are feeling. But everything will be back to normal soon, just let time flow and it'll fix itself." he quickly drew something and showed it to me, it was a smiling bunny and he wrote the bunny saying thank you. I ruffled his hair and he poked me while he tried to fix it again. I chuckled and he looked on his phone as well as I did mine while we waited to arrive at the store.