I'm Fine... || BTS x (Female) Depressed/Suicidal Reader (TBC)

"Please don't leave me, Y/N..." (CXVI) ⚠️Smut⚠️ ⚠️Brief Mention of Self-harm⚠️

November 12, 2016

    It was about a week after our last show where I announced that I would be joining the Air Force, Jungkook had been acting really weird around me since that day. Whenever I was around, he would barely even talk to me, we had only kissed about three times the entire week since my announcement, we hadn't fucked in what felt like forever, and not to mention, he seemed a bit sadder than normal since then too. Though, when he would talk to me he would ask if I was okay after the little incident that happened the same day where I almost died because of some haters that were in the audience in the back after the end of the show before we left. All of us were just hanging around the house like we had been for the past few days, Jungkook was playing a game, Jin was doing something in the kitchen, Yoongi was relaxing in the recliner watching a show on his phone, Namjoon was reading a book, Jimin and Taehyung were playing a board game, Hobi was listening to music and practicing his dancing a few feet away, and I was on my laptop listening to our new songs as I added the lyrics to the lyric book I was writing on a website under an alias I used for the website so I wouldn't get found out. I wanted my writings to become popular because people liked it, not because I was already famous in real life and my fans support me because they knew who I really was.

    "Guys, why are we just laying around here all day... Why don't we go out and do something fun?" I groaned as I finished the last song and published it along with an update post to say I was going to be taking a long break away from writing. The guys all looked at each other and back at me as they thought.

    "Yeah, why are we're just laying around when we just have a little over a month before she has to-"

    "Don't you fucking dare say that word, Namjoon-hyung, or you won't fucking breathe!" Jungkook interrupted Namjoon before he could say the 'l' word. For the past few days, Jungkook would not allow my name and either 'leave', 'is leaving', 'will be leaving', 'leaving soon', 'is leaving soon', or 'will be leaving soon' in the same sentence. It didn't even have to be my name, if it was just 'she' he would get pissed off and tell us not to say it again, or threaten us if we did so we would shut up. I was about to speak up but I got a comment notification on the update I posted for my lyric book and it was from someone, a little smile appeared on my face as I read the comment, at least somebody understood and wasn't upset about the book being on hold for a while. Namjoon and Jungkook were bickering back and forth about how he needs to accept the fact about me leaving and Jungkook denying that he needed to and everything just caused them both to get angrier at each other the longer they argued, as they were doing that I was replying to the comment, "I know she is but that doesn't mean I can't say I don't want her to! She's my Goddamn girlfriend for fuck's sake!" Jungkooked exclaimed, all of the others and my attention now being focused on the both of them. 

    "Guys shut the fuck up and stop fighting! Jungkook is just really sensitive about me leaving and that's why he keeps trying to deny that I am so he won't get so upset, if he was leaving to go into the Korean military I would do the exact same thing because I can't stand to see him leave me just like he is doing about me. Just cut the poor dude some slack, guys, the person he loves is leaving for four years to serve her country and might have to go either to war or be around the war zone depending on what job I get. I know it can be irritating hearing him deny the fact that I'm leaving but he's just trying to put his mind at ease because we won't be together again for four years." as I talked, Jungkook looked at me with a little smile on his face, proud that I was standing up for him and it took all I had to look serious because his little smile made me want to crack one myself but I tried to look as serious as I could given the conversation. Namjoon took a few deep breaths to calm himself as he walked away before he or Jungkook said something to piss off the other person again.