The Hero and the Damsel

Toshinori's Fangirl

            My time in ICU dragged on. My parents came in to visit me, bringing with them a good murder mystery novel for me to read and always tons of love and affection. After their visit, the respiratory therapist came with the doctor. As the therapist was checking my breathing the doctor spoke with me. "Yamane, your operation was successful. We were able to perform a lobectomy and the tumor was removed from your lung. We will be starting you on your first set of chemotherapy and radiation treatments soon. We will speak with you once you leave ICU about your chemotherapy. For now, please rest Yamane."

I gave a nod as I glanced down at the therapist as he told me to take a deep breath and hold it in before give a slow gentle exhale. These were my breathing exercises now. The doctor, after checking my vitals and all the strange tubes connected to me, bowed and took his leave. The therapist continued to work with me on my breathing. "One more deep breath Yamane, exhale slowly."

After my exhale I sat there, my hands at my sides in a bit of irritation. "What does this even do for me?"

The therapist smiled at me as he scooted closer, I could see the form of his eyes clearly, they looked strange, odd etchings seemingly inside them. He must be Quirked, wonder what it was. Either way, I watched him get a bit excited as he answered. "Well Yamane, your breathing like this is allowing your lungs to expand and get oxygen flowing into your lungs again. Soon you should be able to breath normally." I gave a quick nod before a bit of small coughs came from me. I remembered his words as he focused on me and I calmed my breathing and took deep, calming, slow breaths to get the coughing under control.

Once I had finished coughing, the therapist gave a nod and left the room. I gave a weak wave, but the action left me a bit fatigued, so I moved gently and slowly to lift my book. Since I had no more visitors to torment me, and I had a moment's peace, I resigned myself to reading. My thoughts intently fixated on the book...for the most part. I could feel myself drifting to topics of how chemo was going to go, would the radiation therapy hurt, and...what would Toshinori do about all of this. I shook my head, I didn't want to think about losing Toshinori over my lung cancer. He said he would stay...I...I needed to trust him. I did trust him. He's a Pro-Hero, he should be good to his word.

I clenched my hands into fists as I went back to reading my book, but Toshinori remained on my mind. However, I forced myself not to think of losing him. Rather, I chose to focus on what he was probably doing at the moment: fighting villains, saving tons of people, being the best Pro-Hero I've ever met, laughing obnoxiously with a stupid idiot's grin plastered to his smug face...things like that. The words in my book started to meld together as I wondered if he was safe with whatever he was doing...probably not. No, no. I need to remain diligent with reading. Murder mystery, yeah!

I went back to my book, but Toshinori still kept coming to mind. I dreaded that face, I was becoming like them...his stupid fucking fangirls! I hated how my thoughts were now being filled with his moronic face. I hated how I was becoming a compulsive, giddy fangirl for him. Wait! No...no! I am not a fangirl for All Might; I'm not nearly as pathetic. I just need to get ahold of myself. I took a calm, slow breath as I placed my hand over my cannula, being sure not to yank on it or anything of the sort. I needed to remind myself that even though All Might was cool, suave, courageous, daring, kind...handsome...chiseled...Damnit! Damnit, damnit, damnit!

My calming breaths weren't helping me stop my attention on Toshinori, nor was me cursing myself in my head. I gave a weak, hoarse sigh as I closed the novel and held it in my lap. My hand was resting overtop of it as I turned carefully to stare out the window of my room. I was in love with him...it was the thing I hated most about myself and this whole situation. I was starting to fall in love with the man wearing the costume. I wasn't a fangirl...I wasn't sure what I was. I wanted to curl up into myself, but the tubes and wiring attached to my body made it a bit difficult, so I plopped backwards onto my pillow as I closed my eyes.