Chapter 40 - Broken

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Amanda Estelle

New York.. please be nice.

I just landed in New York with my grandfather's private jet. It was hard to say goodbye to my family. I got out from the jet and got into the car right away. I looked out the window and tried to smile even though it's so hard to smile.

I will go straight to have lunch with Joan and Crystal. They're really happy to see me here in New York. I'm glad that I already have friends here or I'll be lonely.

I turned on my phone and I texted my father and grandfather that I landed in New York safely. I closed my eyes trying tell myself that it's okay that everything will be okay.

"Amanda!" I smiled as I saw Joan and Crystal. I closed the private room and hugged them both.

"How are you guys? I brought some presents." I said as I gave them both a paper bag each.

"Thankyou!" Crystal squealed.

"Welcome.."

"Thankyou so much and we're so happy to have you here." Joan said and I smiled.

"Me too.. I'm glad that I have you guys." I said.

"Let's sit down and order." Joan said and we all sat down. We looked at the menu and ordered our food. I gave the menu back to the waiter and sighed.

"I thought you're going to come here more often next month.. why so sudden?" Crystal asked.

"It's complicated actually."

"If you don't want to tell us, it's okay." Joan quickly said and I shook my head.

"It's fine.. It's just.. I come here to runaway." I said and their eyes widen.

"What do you mean? Did you do something bad in London?" Joan asked as she held my hand and I shook my head.

"No.. it's more like running away to make someone you love happy." I said as tears piling up my eyes. I laughed dryly as I wiped my tears. Crystal quickly gave me a tissue and the both of them sat closer to me.

"You have us here.. just tell us when you're feeling sad.. we'll come right away." Joan smiled and I looked at them both feeling so thankful.

"Thankyou."

"Sacrificing for someone we love never been easy." Crystal said and I sighed nodding.

"I'll get better soon.. maybe.." I said to myself and Joan shook her head.

"Just call us whenever you need us. You can call Cailey and Autumn too.."

"Thankyou." I said and they hugged me.

After that they tried to talk about something else to cheer me up and it worked. We're laughing and eating, it made me happy for awhile. As soon as I arrived at my apartment, I started to breakdown again.

My maids even a little bit shock to see me crying but I told them to keep helping me unpacking. I was so stress out with all the emotions coming to me at once. It's hurting me but I don't any other choice but to stand on my feet.

I walked out from the balcony and cried again. I was more than miserable at this point. I have to learn how to forget Logan. I looked at the gloomy sky and wiped my tears.

"Can you buy me ben and jerry ice creams?" I asked one of the maids and she nodded. I gave her the money and I waited on my room complete not okay. I opened my laptop and played the movie Friendzone.

"Oh no.. shit." I walked out from my room and took out a bottle of alcohol. I took a glass and put in some ice. I walked back to my room and started to drink.

After 20 minutes, my maid came back with 4 tubs of ben and jerry. I thanked her and I kept drinking my alcohol. I was crying non-stop without paying attention to the movie or how much alcohol that I drank.

After hours crying and a little bit drunk, I opened the ice cream.. that already melt down. I looked at it blanky and dragged myself to the fridge and put it on the freezer.

"Ms. Estelle, do you want us to cook you dinner?" My maid asked and I shook my head. I almost fell down and she caught me.

"Ms. Estelle.." She called me in panic and I stood up again trying to get my sense but I was so drunk. I cried right there and my maid went so panic. She called the other 3 maids to help her carry me to my room.

They took laptop and the alcohol bottle from my bed. They laid me on the bed and I cried again.

"Should we call Mr. Estelle?" She asked and I shook my head. I gestured them to leave and I got up from the bed still tipsy. I walked towards the bathroom and showered myself with cold water.

"Amanda.. you can't be like this.." I said to myself trying to tell myself that everything will be okay.

"Everything going to be fine.. he's happy.. you're happy." I said it to myself again but it's not working. I screamed in agony and cried my heart out.

I was so tired and stressed out that.. I fainted.

I opened my eyes slowly and I heard a lot of noises beside me. I looked up to the ceiling and looked around. I'm in the hospital. Shit.

I got up in shock and the medical team came running into my room.

"Ms. Estelle, please calm down.. we're going to run a check for you." The doctor said.

"How did I get here?" I asked.

"Your maid found you unconsious in your bathroom." He answered and I sighed.

"I'm okay.. I want to go home." I said but they held me down to check my conditions.

"Amanda.." I turned to the door to see Joan looking at me worried.

"Joan? What are you-"

"I was going to your place when the ambulance came. Why are you like this?" She asked looking at me sadly.

"I guess.. I'm just broken hearted." I answered weakly.

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