love within the silence

twelve

Me and Ally had a quiet night in, she slept in my bed for the night and waking up this morning she was very happy.

I put in her hearing aids and we both got ready for the day, and just as I was about to start cleaning the kitchen the doorbell went. I left ally on the sofa and answered the door, and the one person I wasn't expecting to see was my mother.

My face shocked, I stood just outside of the apartment and said 'can I help you?' She smiled and said 'it's been a while Elizabeth, how have you been?' I looked at her with shock on my face and I said 'really, after the encounter we had a few years ago I never thought I would see you again and now, here you are asking how I've been?' She looked sorry and said 'I guess I wasn't very pleasant to you and...' she trailed off as she didn't even know her own granddaughters name. 'Ally' she smiled shyly and said '...to you and ally. I've come to apologise.' I scoffed and said 'did he send you?' Her face confused I repeated the question, 'did Robbie send you? Are you here making up with me, trying to get some insight, to see if I'm a bad mother helping him get his hands on her? Is that why your here?' She shook her head and said 'I would never, neither would Robbie. I don't know what happened between you two but you should talk it out' I literally looked at her with pure shock on my face and said 'talk to him? Do you even know what he did? Well I'll shed some light for you. Your granddaughter who you called a mistake 3 years ago was bought into this world because that monster forced himself onto me. He abused me, he hurt me and your telling me to talk it out. I can't even look at his face without thinking of his hands on my body, around my neck, leaving bruises on my wrists as I pleaded and begged for him to stop. I'm finally happy with how my life turned out, when I needed my family most they weren't there. I've been alone for the last 4 years of my life but the one person who was always there was Ally and I wouldn't change her for the world. So no mother, I will not talk to him, he will not see her and if I have to I will get a restraining order. He's a monster and I want him no where near my daughter' I stopped talking and looked at her face, she showed no emotion. I then heard Ally say 'mummy?' I quickly opened the door leaving my mother in the doorway and ally walked over to me. 'Mummy ears hurting' she said quietly, I crouched to her level and said 'I know baby, just a little bit longer. Is that okay?' She nodded her head and then said 'can we go see 'uggie now?' I smiled and nodded my head. 'Go and grab some colouring books and mummy will be back in a minute' she smiled and ran off into the room. I stood back up and said 'look, you obviously came here to get me to talk to him but no. So if you see him, and I'm sure you will, give him this message. If I see him or if he approaches me or my daughter I will call the police. He is not her father and he never will be, he needs to move on with his life, thank god I did 4 and a half years ago. I'm fine with my daughter and my friends, I don't need you. You saw ally and called her a mistake. Your own grandchild? So next time you fancy popping in for a visit, don't' her face dropped and then Ally came out from her bedroom. She walked to the door and saw my mother standing there, ally grabbed my leg and hid behind me. I watched as my mother took her in, I watched her and then she said quietly 'what's... what's in her ear?' I sighed and said 'hearing aid' her mouth opened and she said shocked 'you mean....' I finished her sentence and said 'yes she's deaf. Has been for 3 years. Look we have somewhere to be so I guess it was nice seeing you, have a good life' i closed the door and a tear slipped down my face. I crouched to Ally's level and she said 'mummy are you sad?' I shook my head as ally wiped the tear from my face 'mummy's okay. Shall we go to the bar?' She nodded her head and then said 'mummy hugs make ally feel better when I sad. Mummy want hug?' I smiled and kissed her cheek 'I would love a hug baby' Allys arms wrapped around my neck and I picked her up, i grabbed my bag and we walked to the bar.

Arriving at the bar Ally stayed in my arms, I walked round to Jughead's office so he knew I was here. I knocked on the door and heard Jughead shout 'come in' I opened the door and smiled when I saw him, I really had missed him last night. He stood up and walked over to us, Ally saw him and reached for him. He happily took her and she said to him quietly 'mummy's sad, she cry' Jughead's face dropped and he quickly said 'what? Are you okay?' I smiled and said 'I promise I'm okay, my mum dropped by this morning and I just got overwhelmed' he pulled me close to him, Ally rested her head on his shoulder and I hugged him as well. He kissed my head and I smiled into his chest.

Ally soon laid on the floor of the office and started her colouring, Jughead sat on the sofa with me and I told him about my mother, he promised he would stay with me tonight in case she came back again.

The day went quite quickly, I stayed in Jughead's office with Ally and while he finished up his work. Every now and then Ally would get up and walk over to Jughead, he lifted her onto his lap and said 'hat' and reached up. He smiled and moved his head away so she couldn't grab it, Ally then frowned at Jughead and he smiled widely, he reached to his head and removed the beanie. When he placed it on her head her eyes lit up and she smiled widely. She removed it from her head and hugged it into her chest, 'I tired 'uggie' she said while yawning and hugging his beanie. Jughead looked to me and I nodded my head telling him it was okay, he said to Ally 'can we take out your hearing aids?' She nodded her head and said I watched as he carefully removed them, she happily laid back down into his chest. She yawned and I watched as her eyes flickered shut, he ran his hands through her hair and she soon fell asleep.

I walked over to the side of the desk and I took her hearing aids from his desk to put away. I smiled at them both and walked over to his side, I ran my hand through his hair and he turned slowly to face me. I lent down and kissed his lips slowly, 'I love you' I said quietly. He smiled and then he stood up slowly, he carefully placed Ally on the sofa and then sat down next to her. He gestured for me to sit with him and when I reached him he grabbed my hips and pulled me into his lap. I happily cuddled down into his chest and felt as his lips touched the top of my head.

We sat for a while in silence, his hand running through my hair, after about an hour, Ally started to stir and when she woke up she crawled over to where I was sitting with Jughead. I grabbed her hearing aids and put them back in and when I turned around my place on Jughead's lap had been taken. I smiled as Ally was trying to put Jughead's hat back on his head. When Ally woke up fully she wanted to go and find Veronica and Archie which I was satisfied with. Jughead only had an hour left of work and then we would leave.

I sat with Veronica and watched as Ally ran between Archie and Kevin in the bar, I smiled and then i turned to Veronica. She was smiling and she said 'I need to thank you' I gave her a confused look and said 'what for?' She smiled and responded with 'Jughead, I haven't seen him happy about something in a really long time. I know he's told you about our parents, he really looked after me and JB, I know how much he adores that little girl and you both make him really happy. He was headed down a dark path, one that scared me. But since you came into his life I've seen he has something more to live for' I smiled to myself knowing the impact I had on his life, I shrugged my shoulders and said 'I'm thankful for him to, ally really looks up to him and even though he's not her dad he acts like it. I can see how much he cares about her and that's all I want out of a relationship, for them to actually care about my daughter and not just about sex' she smiled and said 'speaking of... have you guys... you know?' I looked down and shook my head. She smiled slightly and said 'is it because of Ally?' I nodded my head and said 'there aren't really many chances, I share a room with her. But I'm also scared, the only time I was with someone was Robbie and we all know how that turned out. I trust jug more than anything and he hasn't tried anything, i think he gets I'm scared. But I'm more than ready, I really do love him' Veronica smiled and said 'he won't do anything unless you do, he's too respectful and will not control that situation. But when the time is right, and preferably not when your daughters 2 feet away sleeping, it will happen' I nodded my head and smiled at her.

Ally ran over to where we were sitting and climbed into my lap, she sat down and started colouring again. After about 20 minutes I saw Jughead come round the corner, he spotted me and started to walk over. When he reached the booth he sat down and kissed my cheek, ally's head turned and she smiled at Jughead. She put her crayons down and moved to grab his beanie. 'Hat 'uggie' she said while taking it from his head, he smiled and said 'do you want some ice cream Al?' She smiled widely and enthusiastically nodded her head, I laughed and said to him, 'have you finished for the day?' He nodded and said 'thought I could have dinner with you guys?' I smiled and nodded ' is 'uggie having sleepover tonight?' Ally said, I smiled and said to her 'why don't you ask him baby?' She smiled and said to Jughead ' you stay 'uggie? We watch movie' he smiled and said 'I would love to stay' she clapped her hands and then said 'ice cream, ice cream.'

We left the bar and headed to get ice cream, ally was talking the entire way there and back. When we got home ally went and played, I sat on the sofa and Jughead came out of the kitchen with 2 coffees. He sat next to me and we were talking for a little bit. There was a knock at the door and thinking it was Cheryl as she said she would be back tonight I didn't check out the peep hole. I opened the door and I froze, my arms wrapped around my front and I felt physically sick. My hands gripped closed and then I heard, 'it's been a while...' I held back the tears and whispered 'Robbie....'