love within the silence

sixty

I woke up the next morning to Taylor and Noah running into our room, they jumped on the bed and Noah said 'mummy, daddy, it's morning now' I let out a small laugh and I watched as Taylor crawled into Jugheads arms. Noah dropped into my lap and I said 'did you wake your sister up again?' Noah let out a small laugh and I said 'Noah, we spoke about this. If Taylor's still asleep when you wake up you let her sleep and come in here, you need to stop waking her up' he frowned slightly and said 'sorry mummy, I won't do it again' I nodded and watched as Jughead hugged Taylor slightly while she once again fell asleep. I brushed a curl from Jugheads face and I said 'I'll get up with him' he smiled and said 'are you sure? I nodded and said 'yeah, Taylor's still tired but she also looks comfortable. I'd prefer it if she could sleep some more' he nodded and I quietly got up with Noah who happily ran downstairs to play with his toys.

By 8 o'clock Taylor had woken up and so had Hunter, I grabbed them some breakfast and while they were eating Ally came downstairs. Jughead was making me a cup of coffee when Ally wrapped an arm around his waist, I watched as he pulled away from the coffee and hugged her back 'you okay sweetheart?' He said, she faced him and signed got a headache he kissed her forehead and said it's okay, do you want anything to eat? She smiled and said just some toast he nodded and then said go sit with mum, I'll do it a minute. She came and sat down next to me and I said you feeling okay? She shrugged and said I'll be fine, just a headache I smiled and before I replied Noah said through a mouthful 'mummy, why isn't ally speaking and why are you making funny hand movements?' I smiled at Noah and signed as well as said 'ally can't hear properly so we use a special language called sign language so we can talk to ally. She has to wear special ear things, called hearings aids, which help her to hear and to speak' Noah nodded and then ally sighed as well as spoke quietly 'when you get older, mummy and daddy can start teaching you. Hunters learning slowly' Noah and Taylor nodded and then Jughead walked in with her toast.

With everyone fed, ally came back downstairs with her track pants on and her hearing aids. 'You okay?' I said while clearing a few toys from the floor she nodded and then I said 'fancy a walk?' She hopped up and grabbed her shoes, she grabbed Missy's lead and then I headed into the garden where Jughead was. 'Hey, me and Ally are going to take a walk. Meet us at the park in half an hour?' He smiled and nodded while leaning down to kiss my lips gently.

Me and Ally walked to the park and we found a bench we could sit down on, Missy was waiting for her ball to be thrown and I said 'ally, about your father...' but before I could carry on she said 'please don't call him that. He's not my dad, I don't know yet what he did but I know how much it affects you so I know he hurt you, so I don't want him to be my dad, Jugheads my dad and he always has been' I smiled and said 'I know baby, I know. So, when I was 17 I met... Robbie. I fell for him very quickly and I looked passed all of his imperfections and worst qualities because I was blinded by my love for him. At first it was really nice, he cared for me, we went out all of the time and it was lovely but things changed and after a while I didn't feel very confident. There was a party one night and Robbie had drunk a lot that night and he hurt me, I wasn't strong enough to escape that night and he hurt me quite a bit. But after the party I gained enough courage to keep away from him and try and live my life. But at the end of high school I found out I was pregnant with you, I wanted him to have nothing to do with you or any choice in whether or not I even have you and keep you so at 18 me and auntie Cheryl left and moved here. I want you to know that even though Robbie hurt me and I got pregnant I never once thought about ever giving you up, you saved me baby and I dedicated my whole world to you. When you were 3 I got a new job and I was finally able to buy you the things you wanted and that's when I met Jug and he changed my entire world. He loved you from the moment he saw you and the day that Robbie turned up threatening to take you away might have been one of the scariest moments of my life, but Jug stood by me through all of it and that day was the first day you ever called him dad. We fought for you and we won baby, he was arrested just after you had turned 4 because he tried to hurt me again but he didn't succeed. He was arrested for a very long time and he signed away any parental right he had, I stopped worrying about him a long time ago as he is allowed no where near you. Me and your dad then had Hunter and when you were 8, just after we got married, he legally adopted you and I added him to your birth certificate. But he's been your dad for the last 10 years and nothing will ever change that, he's the man who helped me raise you and is a big part of who you are today. I'm sorry it took so long to talk to you about this but I know your a really mature person and I know you can handle this' she looked up at me and I saw the small tear that fell, I wiped it away and she said 'I'm sorry he hurt you mummy but I'm really glad you found dad, Robbie will never be a father to me, he will never mean anything to me. You and dad are all I need but I'm glad you told me' I smiled and kissed her forehead 'why the sudden change of heart, you weren't to interested a year ago?' Ally shrugged back and said 'you won't be mad, will you?' I shook my head and I said 'whatever it is, it's okay ally' she sighed and then pulled an envelope from her pocket. She handed it to me and said quietly 'he wrote me a letter, when I got it I was very confused at first but I guess I wanted answers' I took in a deep breath and said 'how long have you had this?' She shrugged and said 'about a month, I didn't want to worry you so I kept it to myself. I didn't read it for a while but I opened it a few days ago' I smiled back at her and I said 'it's okay, I guess your grown up enough that if you want to write him back you can. I can't really stop you' I said sadly, she shook her head immediately and said 'I don't want to, I just didn't want to hide it from you anymore. I don't ever want to contact him, he hurt you mum and he tried to take me away from you and from dad' I smiled and said 'do you mind if I keep this?' She shook her head and said 'I have no need for it' I smiled and said 'you really are the best thing that happened to me, no matter what happened in my past you were all I cared about. Then I met Jughead and he fell in love with you so quickly and I just knew that he was going to have such an impact on your life' she smiled and then just as she went to say something else Taylor and Noah ran over to us. 'Hi mummy' Noah said loudly, I smiled down at Ally and hugged her tightly before turning to see Jughead who had a hold of Hunters hand. Ally stood up and walked over to Jughead, 'hi dad' she said quietly, she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. Jughead looked up at me while wrapping his spare arm around her shoulders and said 'hey princess, everything okay?' She pulled away and I heard her say 'yeah, I'm just glad your my dad and I love you' he smiled down at her and said 'well I love you too sweetheart.'

While the kids enjoyed the playground and Ally was playing with Missy, Jughead said 'everything okay with ally?' I sighed and said 'I told Ally about Robbie today and she admitted something...' his eyebrow raised and I handed him the letter. He looked up at me and he said 'he wrote her a letter?!' I nodded and his arm came over my shoulder, 'have you read it?' I shook my head and said 'she's had it for about a month but only opened it a few days ago, she didn't want to hide it from us but she was confused, she's not writing back. You're her dad and she wants to keep it that way, she sees him as the man who hurt me and tried to take her away from us' he nodded and he kissed the side of my head. Just as I went to say something else, Hunter ran up to where we were standing and said 'daddy can you push my on the swing?' I smiled and heard as Jughead said 'yeah of course I can, come on then buddy' hunter smiled and he ran towards the swings. I held the letter in my hands and sat back down on the bench, I opened it slowly still debating whether or not I wanted to read it. I took the letter out and opened it slowly, making sure to read every word:

To Ally,
I'm not sure what your mother has told you about me but I am your real father. The man you live with is just someone who your mother found a few years later.

She never told me you existed and ran away before she even gave me a chance to be your dad but I want to be. I was found guilty of something that I didn't do Ally and I want you to know that, whatever happened between me and your mother was completely her choice and I would really like it if you could visit me.

I tried so many times to see you and reach out but your mother took you away from me, I don't want you to think I abandoned you because I didn't. It was all your mum.

I would love to know you and see you, maybe with your help you can help me get out early. I can't wait to hear from you.

From dad.

I closed the letter and scrunched it in my hand trying to hide the tears that were threatening to fall, but before I could even over think the letter Taylor was calling me. 'Mummy, mummy can we go on the big slide?' She said excitedly, I smiled and said 'as long as your careful' Taylor and Noah both nodded eagerly and they ran over to the bigger slide in the playground.

Half an hour later we were on our way home, I was carrying Taylor as she had hurt her knee while playing with Noah at the playground. Ally was walking slightly behind us with Missy on the lead when I said 'jug, can you take Taylor for a minute' He looked at me and raised an eyebrow and I gestures to ally, he smiled and said 'sure, come here baby' he said to Taylor who happily reached for him. Noah was holding onto hunters hand and they were walking in front of us, once Jughead had Taylor I slowed down so I could walk with Ally. She looked up at me and smiled, her arm came around my waist and she said 'did you read the letter?' I hugged her back and I nodded, she sighed and said 'I didn't want you to get sad, I don't believe anything he said. You have been the best mum I could have ever asked for and I know you would do anything for me, and dad didn't need to take me in but he did because he loves you and he loves me. Robbie doesn't deserve anything from me as he tried to take me away from a life I have loved living' I smiled and said 'when did you get so grown up?' Ally let out a small laugh and then said 'I'm not, I still need you and dad, I hope that never changes' I kissed the side of her head and I said 'I will always be here for you, you're my little girl' she hugged me that slightest bit tighter and we walked home happy we had been able to have a talk that had been looming over all of our heads.