Save me Romeo (bxb)

Chapter 11 - A normal Teen

I punched the wall of the boys bathroom. Hard. So hard that I actually think I heard a knuckle crack. Maybe it was broken. Not even remotely as broken as I was though. The pain shooting through my whole arm wasn't even remotely close to the pain I felt inside. Fucking hell.

I had sworn myself, that this wouldn't affect me anymore. That I would never let it happen again. That this wouldn't control me any fucking more. I should have never lost control over my body. But I did. I couldn't control my fucking body for shit anymore and now, I lost everything. 

I walked over to the mirror and looked at myself. But the face that was looking back at me, wasn't me. I couldn't find myself in the damn mirror anymore. All I saw, was a fucking excuse of a boy, that was crying in anger. I panted heavily, as even more tears began to roll down my heated cheeks. I couldn't take it. I couldn't take looking at that boy. I was angry at him and I knew I could hurt him if I wanted to. But shit I thought I had left that behind as well. I was so close to doing something stupid, I quickly went over to the paper towel dispenser and ripped it off the wall, with all of my strength. I threw it onto the ground and began stomping it until my foot hurt so bad, that my fucking body didn't allow me to let my anger out this way any longer.

I looked around to search for something else to break. But there was nothing except for the sink. I got another glimpse of myself in the mirror. It was all this guys fault. Not mine, but the person I saw in the mirror. I hated him with everything I had. I couldn't stand looking at this awful fucked up creature any longer. So I took all my strength and smashed my fist into the mirror with a loud scream. It immediately shattered and I could feel pits and pieces cutting deep into my knuckles. It didn't hurt enough. So I punched again and again, my fists smashing the mirror into tiny pieces. I screamed my fucking lungs out until two strong arms wrapped around me and carried me away from the mirror. I was crying and screaming like crazy still trying to hit the mirror that was now so far away from me. 

I felt the two arms pulling me onto the ground, where I landed between two equally strong legs. I turned my head, only to look into Romeos green eyes. Tears were still rolling down my cheeks and now I didn't know what to do. He was the last person who should see me like this. But that didn't matter, it didn't matter that I was laying in his lap a crying and bleeding mess right now. It didn't matter, because Romeo wrapped his arms tighter around me and pressed my head against his chest. Now I was able to completely let go.

I cried like I had never cried before. I cried because of him, because of myself, because of the pain, physically as well as mentally. He gently stroke my head and didn't make a sound. He didn't tell me everything was going to be fine, because he had no idea if it would. He didn't know what I was feeling and why I was the way I was in that moment. All he could possibly do was be there. And he did that.

 He didn't have to and I didn't know him well enough to say that it was ok for him. That he wasn't loosing respect for me and the only reason he helped me was that I was Codys little brother. Maybe he even felt guilty, because he took me on a date and now he maybe felt like it was his duty to look after me. Or at least not ignore my pain. But maybe he felt disgusted by my break down. 

I was afraid of loosing, whatever it was that we had. I only knew him for two weeks, but I knew that he made me feel a way, I never knew I could feel. And it was beautiful. I didn't know how I had lived without knowing him before. I was so afraid he was going to leave. Maybe he still was. 

I quickly sat up to look at his face. He didn't look worried, I think he looked.. sad? I couldn't tell. I searched in his eyes for something to hold onto. To know what he was thinking. To see, if he hated me now. My cheeks still wet from tears and my eyes still red from all of the crying, I quickly pressed my lips against his. My right bloody hand cupped his face gently. Hesitantly, he kissed me back. It was a soft, almost loving kiss. But that wasn't enough. I needed to give him a reason to stay. I needed to make him happy.