Save me Romeo (bxb)

Chapter 15 - Closing doors

A/N: Another Blake vibe for you guys xx 

I am sorry the last chapter was very heavy, I know that. And I just want to warn you that from now on, its not going to get any lighter. I don't mean the next chapter specifically, but heavy themes like abuse, depression or self harm will always come up in this Book. I really hope you guys are going to be ok and if you need somebody to talk to, I am here for you. 

Anyways enjoy this next Chapter and I love you

The next day in school, I tried my best to avoid Romeo. I just had to make it through this Friday and then I had a whole weekend, where I didn't have to run away from him. At least two days of freedom. I could hang out with Amelie and Luke and just forget the whole thing. 

Which was harder than I thought. Believe me, I tried to think of Romeo as little as possible. I tossed and turned all night and tried to forget this smile, his hair, his smell, his kiss, his eyes. Just everything that made my stomach tingle in delight. And then cramps in pain as I remembered, that I could never have any of those things again. 

It was pure torture. He didn't want me and that was fine, I guess. Better now than later, after we had fucked and I got even more attached, right? 

It was still unbelievably hard for me though. I had the urge to go right back to the bathroom and hurt myself once more. But I didn't. I tried to shake him off my mind and think about anything else. Football, my grandparents, kittens, the sea. But every time, it just somehow reminded me of him.

 Football, because he was on my team. My grandparents, because then I thought if they had met him, would they have liked him? Kittens, because I thought how cute they were and that I wanted one and maybe buy one with my future spouse and then I hoped that that would be Romeo. And the sea, because the sea was nature and guess what's also nature - the forest. And whose eyes reminded me of the forest? Romeos, yes. 

It was stupid, I know I know. But it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be to forget the first male I have ever felt attracted to. Maybe the only male I will ever be attracted to. I still haven figured my shit out. I didn't really feel the need to tho. Yes I was confused but it was ok that way, to not really know what I want. With Romeo it was just that I saw him and instantly knew, that there was something about him, that made me go nuts. And that was all I needed to know. 

When lunch rolled around I really craved a smoke. But the chances were so high, that Romeo would be there as well, I did not want to risk that. We made eye contact that day before lunch. When I had left my chemistry class with Luke and we were on our way to meet Amelie at her locker and I saw him. 

Just when we stepped out of the classroom, he stood there, leaning against a locker with Nick, Jaxson and Cody. I wanted to turn around, but Luke already made his way into their direction. Not to go say hi or anything, but we had to pass them in order to go to Amelie's locker. 

"Uh Luke, where are you going?" I asked, pulling on his sleeve, so that the thin boy fell backwards a little. He looked very confused and honestly, so was I. This was a dumb idea, but I panicked! I mean, although I have only been at the school for a couple of weeks now, I should still know where the lockers were. Especially since Amelies was right next to my own and if I hadn't remembered where that one was by now, I would be a dumbass. Make a plan, damn it Blake, think of something, anything!

"What do you think smartass? We have a date with Amelie, did you forget?" he frowned. 

Honestly, I wanted to lie and try to convince him to walk the other way with me. But I panicked and I still didn't know what to say. Even if I would say I had to use the restroom, I would still have to pass Romeo in order to get there. So I sucked it up like a man.