Save me Romeo (bxb)

Chapter 22 - Leave me

"So? What did dad say?" I asked, still standing in front of the door, meeting my brothers and mothers teary eyes.

"I- Blake, maybe you should go upstairs" my mother said softly. So it wasn't good. He hadn't apologized, he didn't want me back as his son, he-

"Just tell me!" I yelled. I didn't want to shout, but I needed to know. It was eating me up from the inside. My dad had called after nearly 5 months of nothing and I needed to know what he had to say, even if it would upset me, which it most definitely would.

"Please, just- I can handle it" I said calmly, trying my best to stop my body from trembling. I hadn't noticed, that I was shaking, until I tried to seem collected in front of my family. How bad could it be? Did he really just call after 5 months, to tell everybody, again, what a worthless piece of shit I was? Yeah, that sounds like him. But after all, I really didn't know him anymore. Dad? Who was that?

"Honey, you know we both love you very much and nothing could ever change that" she said, pointing between Cody and herself. Oh. Yeah it was really bad.

"He asked us to come back" Cody suddenly blurted out, his hair falling into his teary face. My heart dropped. My dad- he- he really did- but why were they angry?? He really wanted us to come back? This was good, wasn't it?? We could go back to normal and everything would be ok again!

"H-He wants us back?" I asked, as tears of almost joy began to form in my eyes. It was more tears of hope, which I didn't know existed up until that point. But I was just so... so happy! But my brother and mother fell silent. Oh.

"He wanted me and Cody to return to him" my mother almost whispered, as tears began rolling down her cheeks. Oh. Yeah... Right. 

"Right. He only wanted you two" I stated very calmly. I was calm. Although all the hope I ever had, about seeing my father ever again, was now shattered into pieces, I was collected. Honestly, I was a fucking idiot for ever having that glimpse of hope. He hated me. He had told me that many many times in those few months after the incident. Why would he suddenly change his mind? Just because I was his son for 17 years? Obviously not.

"Blake, honey, we love you! That excuse of a father and husband won't ever be more important than you are to us, ok? You know we would never leave you, right?" my mother said, rushing to my side and catching my shaking hands with her own. I frowned looking down. Why were my hands still shaking? My body was reacting probably in a normal manner, while my mind went blank. I didn't feel like shaking. I didn't feel like crying. It was just shit. Everything was.

"That fucking piece of shit. I hate that I ever had to call him my dad" Cody cursed, tears escaping his eyes. He was still sitting on the counter. I knew he was trying to convince himself, that he was crying, because of the probably awful things my father had said about me on the phone, but I was sure, that actually he was crying, because he did, in fact, want to go back. My father was only an asshole to me. He never disliked Cody, well he didn't dislike me until half a year ago. 

He was never a great father in that sense. He didn't run around the garden with us, he didn't sneakily give us a cookie before dinner to make us smile. He didn't give us our first beer or come to any of our games. He was at home, reading the newspaper, asking if we had won. If we didn't, he was just silent. If we did, he only nodded. I think Cody and I always wanted to make him proud. Straight A's, popular, pretty girlfriends, football stars. That was us. But somehow, he didn't really care that much for us. He never yelled or beat us or shit. My father was nice, sometimes, and didn't go on long business trips or worked long hours. He was a regular man living in our home. He just didn't care. 

But still, he was our dad and we loved him. And Cody wanted that father back. He would never admit it and I wasn't mad at him for having such a natural desirer. But Cody wanted to go back, but knew, he never could. Because that dad was long gone. The moment he threw me out of the house, Cody had hated him with every cell of his body. Not because he felt obligated to, but because he cared for me and couldn't understand, how our father was all along an ignorant dick. And I felt sorry for Cody. Because he, unlike me, got the chance to have a dad again and couldn't take it.