How Many Ways

We Can't Let Go, Pt. 2

A/N: You guys. I am assuming you all heard about Shawn's q&a the other day? If not, let me recap for you...

Fan: "What was your inspiration to write the album?"
Shawn: "Camila." 
And let me tell you I saw the video, he didn't even hesitate before answering!!! I keep saying this, I know its probably getting annoying, but we all knew she was the inspiration, but to have him confirm it, hits so much harder! *sobs in the corner*

Let's not get into him talking about how she inspires him when a fan asked: "Who inspires you?"

Anyway, I'm going to go keep crying while you all read this next chapter.

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She sat with her legs drawn up against her chest. The ache there settling deep in her heart and not letting go, not letting her breathe. It was completely dark, except for the soft light from her bedside lamp. She was desperately fighting away the tears, that were once again threatening to spill over. She had spent too much time crying over the past couple of weeks.

She had poured her emotions into her songwriting. The lyrics swirling around her head were consuming. But just like everything else, it all went back to him. He was the reason her heart was in turmoil, he was the reason she had written another two songs. He wouldn't get out of her head. Even with all of that, she still wanted him. Still ached for him. Her soul still searched for him.

Her body betrayed her every time they had a FaceTime call to work on this new song. His face would light up the screen and her heart would soar. She would smile like a love-sick teenager and find it hard to breathe when he would smile back.

He would be there in a week. Other than their FaceTime dates, she hadn't seen him since the Grammy's. Her heart rate sped up at just the thought of being in the same space as him. He drove her crazy. She had never felt like this with anyone else, not even her now, ex-boyfriend.

"Why are you sitting in the dark?" she heard her mother ask from the bedroom door. She turned her head to look at her mom. She finally released a tear and let it slide down her face.

Her mom quietly came over and sat down next to her on the bed. "Mama... I don't know what to do." She whispered. Not trusting herself to keep it together.

Sinu gently rubbed her daughters back, in an attempt to soothe her heart, "What do you mean?"

Camila sucked in a shaky breath, "Shawn..." More tears made their way down her cheek and her heart clenched in her chest when she said his name. Every single emotion and feeling came flooding back to her, every time she thought of him, talked about him and when she saw him. She had no control over how she reacted, how she was drawn to him. Like they were pulled together by an invisible magnetic force.

Sinu gave her daughter a sad look, running her hand through her hair, "Oh, Camila."

She let the tears continue to fall and leaned back and dropped her head to rest on her mom's shoulder. "Tell me what to do mama?"

Sinu brought her hand up to pat Camila's cheek. Her heart ached for her daughter. "I can't tell you what to do." She whispered, "You have to figure this one out on your own."

"I'm questioning everything." She let out a sad sigh, and looked up at her mom, "Every single time we interacted, every look, every hug... everything." She pushed her hand into her chest, over her heart, hoping the pain would subside.

"Mija..." Camila sat back up and looked at her mom, "He is the real reason you and Matthew broke up... isn't he?"

Camila let out a painful sob, more tears streaming down her face. Everything ached, her heart hurt and she felt her soul break just a little more.