Under the Siren's Spell (BoyxBoy)

Ψ Chapter 22 • The Power of Love Ψ

Under the Siren's Spell
Chapter 22:
"The Power of Love"

Ψ
Xander

I wake up alone in bed again.

Everything about that sentence fills me with dread. It's been eating me up. I can't sleep and eating feels like a chore. I curl up and remain in bed despite hearing Ryder get up from his own bed.

Ryder stands still for a second before leaving the room.

I watch him leave and call his name, not expecting a response.

He doesn't respond, just leaves the door open as an invitation.

Wanting to be in his presence, I follow him. "Ry..."

He goes to the railing and leans against it, looking out over the sea. "What if they'd done as you asked, if they'd taken Ethan and killed him where there's no mermaids around to save him?"

"I could have brought him back. Charlie would have brought him back."

"You were weak. You wouldn't get him in time."

"Even if he died, we could bring him back. You don't understand. I feel terrible, but I couldn't think. The things I've witnessed, the things that I've been through... They drive my decisions."

Ryde hangs his head. "He's my brother. I love him as much as you love yours."

"It's my sister too. It's me. My wings. They're— they're..."

"Gone, I know, and I can't possibly imagine what you've been through. The pain, the years of fear, it must be horrible. But I just can't shake how gross it makes me feel to know you did what you did."

"If you saw what my wings look like, you'd understand, but you'd find me ugly."

He looks at me with saddened eyes." I could never find you ugly."

"You would. It hurts. If I change to what I'm supposed to be, I don't look angelic like Charlie, I looked cursed, desecrated."

"I don't care what you look like. What I love is in here." He pokes my heart.

"But you don't even want that anymore."

"I do." He looks into my eyes. "I want with everything I have to get past this."

"What do I have to do? I can't last like this. I need you."

"I don't know, Xander. I don't think there's anything you can do."

"Ryder, I can't live like this." I grab him.

"What do you mean?" he looks at my hands, unsettled.

"My makeup. Being a merperson and a siren. We love and we love hard. If we get our hearts broken we could die or end up in a state similar to Ethan when Charlie was gone. Sometimes that can be fixed, but sometimes it can't. Don't leave me."

"I'm not leaving you, Xander." Ryder promises. "I just... need time."

"Will it take years?"

"No, but you have to swear you'll never do anything like that again and to protect Ethan like he's your own brother."

"I swear. I'm sorry. I'll show you so you understand. It doesn't go away. The pain stays. If you actually study my back, the damage is so far that I have scars in this form.