Under the Siren's Spell (BoyxBoy)

⎈ Chapter 25.50 • Realization ⎈

Under the Siren's Spell
Chapter 25.50
"Realization"

⎈
Tony
(The new content is near the end)

I carry Toby back to his quarters and sit down and just hold him, not really knowing what else to do.

The blond just shakes and puts his ear to my heart, seeming to try and focus on its rhythm.

"Toby..." I rub his back.

"Was it... m-my fault?" He whispers.

"No." I tell him gruffly.

"But earlier, y-you'd say that if I'd tease, th-then you'd break or som...something. Did I d-do that? Am I the wh-whore?" Toby looks at his hands. "I-Is this all I'm good for?"

"You are hard to resist." I admit. "But fuck those guys. They don't have the right to touch even a single hair on your head. You didn't tease them. We were dancing. You ain't a whore either, you've only ever slept with me. There's plenty you're good for. Plenty I haven't even seen yet."

He looks at me with glassy eyes. "Would you have done th-that to me if I hadn't said yes in the hotel?"

"No." I touch his chin. "I've learned a lot since...since Ry-uh, Ryder. He avoided me like the plague after the mission so I asked someone I could trust wouldn't tell Ethan, my first mate, Aundrea. She taught me a lot about boundaries and shit and she told me I can't just take what I want from people and assume they'll like it, cause sometimes they won't. So I promised her I'd make sure they did want it before I did stuff. It's kinda hard but I'm better. I've been getting better. I didn't wanna hurt you. I'd never hurt you. Never you."

Toby places his hand in mine. "When you broke my hand, I thought you'd force me. Y-You're so big and... I'm not..."

I look at our proportions. I am much larger than him, in all ways possible. "You were scared that I'd hurt you or that I'd..."

"Both." He looks away. "Part of me still is. It's just... th-the way you talked to me. An explosion w-waiting to h...happen..."

I nod. "I scare you even now? How? When? I don't want to make you feel that way ever."

"The way you are with the p-princess," he chokes out. "A-And everyone w-wants me to stay away... Like I'm making a mis...take. Sometimes you get this l-look and I know if you wanted me, you could take me." He closes his eyes. "Ethan and R-Ryder look at me like there's something... something b-broken inside for loving you..."

I take my hands off of him and stare, thinking. I hate seeing him so hurt, so confused. "What I did... what I've done... It makes people feel the way you're feeling right now?"

"Probably worse since no one was there to p-protect them."

I feel guilt well up inside me. "I don't want to be that person. I don't want to make you feel like that, to make anyone feel like that."

"That's good." He looks into my eyes, his own big, brown, innocent, and hopeful.

"How can I help you feel in control, Toby?"

"Time." Toby fidgets. "I-I want to be able to wear anything and you not force anything."

I nod. "Okay. So I gotta work on self control. I can do that. But, you'll still wear sexy outfits for me, right? With the intention of riling me up?"